Can't stop thinking about guys, but I'm not gay

I think, you can say the same thing about masturbation. If people feel guilty or sinful, because they cannot abstain from it at all, this is much more harmful in a psychological way, than any regular masturbation in the believe, it would not be immorale or even bring up a health problem with it, while also knowing about all the other boys and men, who are doing same way - so it´s nothing special or exclusive to "give in", but very common and just human nature. That is also a reason why all these stories about the terrible effects of masturbation are totally gone in any intelligent modern sexual education, because they cannot keep away anyone from masturbating in the long run. He just feels permanently guilty after every time he finally relapses again, while living between under constantly rising sexual pressure, where he tries desperately to control it. Not talking about all the non scientific, unproovable claims in this field, that have been watered by morale and prudish thinkin about sex at all, but have no ground on that could stand a serious scientific study. The problem with moralistic and religious argumentation is, that there seems to be only binary thinking possible for most people. Black or White, Good or Evil. (only a Sith deals in absolutes....) Either totally right and every reported horror story is retold even worse and enthusiastically taken for pure truth or it´s all just made up bullshit by "frustrated sexhaters", so people/teens rebelling against it by just laughing and fapping even more! It´s a personal question and everybody, who is able to masturbate or who becomes sexual mature, must decide it for him/herself, how he prefers to handle this and also how he prefers to live his sexuality at all.

But I totally agree, if people believe something terrible will happen, by permanently breaking a "natural law" (or god´s law...) because they feel guilty about it, it´s a much higher chance, that they really have to suffer the feared consequences. Same is with SDT´s or any deviant sexual behaviour. Because unconsciously they start looking out for a punishment, they believe they "deserve" in the end, for failing.

 

I feel that i might be gay.i get up tight with certain men i kind of admire certain men. why i dont know but its kind of not right

 

I feel the same way

 

But do you like women?

 

Yes I'm married

 

I don't know how to guide in this case
But I myself has experienced weird feeling towards some guys(my friends)
...I have Developed man crush kind of thing on some of them...
It was not at all sexual...
But there was my one friend who helped me a lot . ....his presence used to cheer me up.....he himself was good looking but still he used to compliment me.....that's very gay I know
But one thing is sure that strange attraction was only emotional not sexual....
In your case I would suggest you to follow your heart....if you feel sexual attraction then accept it

 

Doing nofap for at least 90 days will rewire your brain to normal mode
But still if you feel like then accept it
There is nothing wrong in being bisexual...
It's like percentage composition.....
I mean you like 85% of women and 15% of men
But first commit to nofap .....it will make things clear

 

There is nothing magic about the number 90. Some people need much longer.

This!

 

Why would you assume its a choice?

I'm gay and its not a choice. Its just my natural urge.

 

The idea you could get rid of anything by just giving into its demands is wrong. If you´re are thirsty and drink saltwater, it will leave you back not only more thirsty, but also slowly destroy your body, if you keep going on. Quenching your instinctive thirst by it, although your mind and body experience warns you to stop, will end deadly then.

You should find out what you really want and need, if you have already ended here on NoFap, because of your PMO-addiction. You said yourself, you cannot imagine or ever would want a relationship with a man. You strive for a marriage with a woman. You do not need to cross any lines, if you already know, that you do not want to explore or even get lost in that "strange unknown country" at all. That would be just another level to manifest your PMO fantasies and habits further into reality, but no escape and final freedom of them at all. If something feels intrusive against your own will and needs, this is a warning sign, that it is indeed not something from yourself, but rather an external impulse that tries to enslave you. Like an advertisement that hammers in a kids head and tries to condition him. He believes he really really needs that one awesome toy to find definite happiness, but that´s just a simple lie, which has been implanted in his head, only to sell the toy better and make some money by this.

 

Hey man!

1) You said you tried to look up how to arrange that. What does that mean? Have you used some sort of dating sites? Have you checked out male escorts? Have you considered going to a gay bar?

2) You cannot control the thoughts that pop up in your head, you can only control what you do after they pop up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having gay thoughts. You should not make an effort to stop that. What you should do is simply accept them and ignore them, don't feed them.

.

 

This is what is recommended for HOCD.

 

Stay clean for a very long time will help you to readjust ur sexuality. It help me actually although not that long have i stayed clean. Ya sometimes you might fell into the hoe again but climb back up and continue ur journey and bit by bit u will readjust accordingly

 

I have the same. At some crazy way, i have been abused when i was 7 or 8. I dont have any trauma's because i did not mind having sex at the moment, but still, it's abuse cause the woman was 20 and she misused her power. Even thought i haven't got any trauma's, i think after that moment sex became something for me. I started jerking of more and more. It changed how i thought about sex, i guess. Fast forward to what i want to reply is that i have the same feelings as you. I never considered myself gay, but at the age of 12 i had sex with a men. It continued till i was 17 i believe. I really liked it. I was the bottom guy and the feeling of being penetrated i love. (Sorry that I'm so straightforward.)
When i was already hooked on porn but because i went studying i needed to go on dexamfetamine. From that point, it escalated quickly. I started cruising on parking lots to have sex with men. Even when i got a girlfriend who i REALLY loved, i cruised a lot and had a lot sex with strange men. As i said, i consider myself absolutely not gay. It's just lust in my case. Eventually, when i got more addicted to drugs and pmo i lost interest in finding guys so i started only jerking of. Normaly i started jerking of after a techno party and continued 2 days. But in the end i just only took a lot of amphetamine and continued jerking of for 3 a 4 days without sleeping. A lot of crazy and really REALLY disturbing porn. But, i quit. I'm sober from alcohol and drugs for a long time. Pmo free for 116 days i believe and i start to feel normal again. When i was flatlining nothing really bothers me. But now, when i'm out of flatline i start to develop taste again. And i concluded (not sure yet) that i'm probable bi-sexual but hetro-loveable. I really like having sex with man, but i can only fall in love with woman. The first time i thought of this was when i was 18 and had sex with men. It freaked me out because homo. But, as someone above wrote, accept yourself. Being homo or bi is nothing to be ashamed of. That's step one i believe. I can accept that i'm probably bi-sexual. And if there is a time i find a woman who love's me i will tell her that. If she love me back, she will accept it.

 

I can relate. Thanks for sharing

 

I am going through something similar.. I have had sex with men though, never bottomed and what's keeping me from it is the fear of STDs or an AIDs death sentence. I watched porn at a young age and it does really get into your brain early on. It sounds stupid, but your impulses can be really deceptive. I have thought about a relationship with a man before, it feels alien to me. The reason why porn is so dangerous is because it plants expectations in your head that can never happen.. You replace a healthy sexuality for kinks.

 

I understand that

 

It could mean lots of things. You are bi, or curious. Or its just as a taboo fantasy. I have a lot of fantasies, and many I would never seek out, or try. They will only remain to myself.
Nothing wrong with it as long as you are safe about it and not hurting anyone.
Could be porn induced too. Such a poisonous thing