Can't stop looking at girls

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deth, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. Deth

    Deth Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I'm rather new here. First day with no PMO, actually. Most of my triggers that I'm finding are fairly easy to deal with, but there's one (what I think is a) trigger that I'm having trouble getting a grip on. When I'm walking around my school, I almost instinctively glance at cleavage, tight clothing, etc, and it makes me feel the urge. Anyone who's had to deal with this before, any tips for distracting myself so I don't do this? Or do I just have to try my best to force myself to avoid it?
     
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  2. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    It's natural to look. We see a hot chick, we look, it's nature's way of telling us to get her and procreate. Just don't jerk off. You can't escape nature, it's the fake things that are dangerous once you start fapping to them. We're SUPPOSED to be with girls; real one's!
     
  3. Welcome Deth. :) That is understandable. But to stop it, use the three second rule: (look) (acknowledge) (move on). :cool: This should stop you staring. You have just a couple of seconds to look and appreciate that what you have seen is 'nice' :rolleyes: and then you can make a definite move away with your eyes and, better still, with your body. If the brief sight of a female shape triggers thoughts and images, :oops: replace them in your head with something else. If you simply remove them they can quickly return! So, put something clean and good in your mind and keep it there. It will stop you getting too horny! ;)
     
  4. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Normal. It means you're a man. Learn to accept the urges that come with it as normal and tell yourself that they are feelings of virility and that you don't need to m. The boy does that. The man knows how to turn the virility into energy towards conquering the world. That's what guys mean by transmutation of the energy. Cool way to think, yeah? Gives you the guts to talk to the girl instead of sneaking away to fap.
     
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  5. Ginny Weasley

    Ginny Weasley Fapstronaut

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    It's natural for guys to stare at girls whether it's because of tight, sexy or normal clothes. Heck I quickly check out guys and girls too, I don't see a problem as long as you're not ogling or something.

    I mean really, who doesn't wanna catch a glimpse of some natural cleavage? :D
     
  6. Deth

    Deth Fapstronaut

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    So, rather than taking a glance and feeling terrible about it for half an hour I should accept that taking a glance is a normal and natural thing to do, look, accept what I see, and move on?
     
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  7. Yep
     
  8. Evig Faith

    Evig Faith Fapstronaut

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    Here's a female perspective:

    It's natural, and most women understand. I do it too with guys' abs when they wear revealing shirts (Chris Hemsworth in the Thor series is such a great example!), or no shirts at all. Just don't be a full-on pervert about it (as in trying to do "more" than just look, if you get what I mean) just because her clothes are provocative.
     
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  9. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

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    It's natural to notice and acknowledge, it's not natural to stare at her for an extended period with drool hanging out of your mouth. I've actually done this (no, I'm not proud of it) and you'd be surprised how many other people around will notice you doing it, even if you think you're being discreet.

    The three second rule is a good one for this. If you're still staring beyond that, it's a problem and you need to bring your attention to something else.
     
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  10. Evig Faith

    Evig Faith Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! I check out other women's bodies too! If she looks fit or if her butt looks nice, I'd say it too! Just not in front of her.
     
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  11. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    This is powerful. Damn! I really like this, thank you!
     
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  12. Deth

    Deth Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, this has totally given me a new way of thinking about it. Thank you!
     
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  13. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    @DerNeuMann nailed it right there.
     
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  14. Ginny Weasley

    Ginny Weasley Fapstronaut

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    I'm bi so I enjoy both, but I think even if I wasn't it's just a natural thing to do, almost like an instinct. I've seen countless women check me out in different ways but It's totally cool and actually a compliment to me, as long as like you said it's not full on pervy. :p
     
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  15. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    I wish I'd learned it at a younger age. I would have done a lot of things differently
     
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  16. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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  17. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Wow. Another super useful thread (thanks @Deth) about a habit of mine that I am trying to think through - is it bad for me to do this or is it OK?

    To help me work that through the female perspective is very useful, so @Sarah Walker and @Evig Faith's input is a relief.

    Plus if I do decide it is wrong there's useful advice on how to stop from @IGY

    If I walked away from the thread now my ethical dilemma would be qualmed. As @Tonytone, @DerNeuMann, @Sarah Walker, @Evig Faith, @IGY, and @Porn Free Wanderer all point out a three second glance and moving on is natural and not a problem. We all do it. But it is weird how other threads take a different tack. Yesterday I was immersed in this one from @Kenzi. It's another really useful thread if (like me) you want the female perspective on this. It's titled The "Feels" of Ogling (a Female Perspective) and branched from another fascinating thread by @Torn titled Staring at other women. Check them out too.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2017
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  18. Ginny Weasley

    Ginny Weasley Fapstronaut

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    I mean honestly, you can only control your eyes to a certain extent. Like say you catch a glimpse of a girl and you end up looking and quickly check her out, it's what you do after that time that matters. Whether you're admiring her looks or whatever that's fine, as long as you're not just standing there starring at her or full blown ogling.

    There are women that don't like to be "checked out" or looked at, at all but there's nothing you can do about that. I have accidentally or involuntarily looked at people and I think that's okay, provided you're not being creepy or weird. Some people go crazy with even a small peek. lol
     
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  19. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I think you just have to own it. But see the whole female form as sexy, not just one body part, and have your energy focus naturally to her eyes. You will soon have a girlfriend.:rolleyes:

    It is the difference between seeing a subject and an object.
     
  20. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been there before bro, especially with certain girls at my school.

    As males, i don’t think looking Is that bad. Women are attractive, so we can’t be blamed for that.

    Just don’t stare at them to the point where you pre-ejaculat on yourself, and don’t stare at them to the point where you come off as creepy or to the point where you want to relapse.
     
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