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Can't feel love

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Aug 16, 2017.

  1. I'm currently in a LDR. We are perfect together, we share the same flaws and interests, we share our lives with each other, she feels like home. She's everything I want in a girl: she's got a big butt, she's a healthy kind of clingy, she's understandable, dedicated, lovable. Thing is, although I feel like we were made for each other, I don't feel that rush of emotions that everyone feels. And it's not just romantically, I also stopped feeling love for my parents: they're kind, wholesome, always there for me and I appreciate it but I just don't feel that oxytocin kick everyone feels.

    I used to have boatloads of love to give back when I was 15 but I've noticed a worrying decline in 7 years(I started using porn regularly at 16). This was due to unbearable loneliness and the fact that no girl ever liked me. At first I liked it because it made me resistant to emotional pain and heartbreak, but now I think it's just ruining my relationships.

    Did any of you passed through this or something similar?
     
  2. Ace12

    Ace12 Fapstronaut

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    What's good my dude? It feels like I am looking in mirror! You have said a lot of things I went through.I feel you on the point of girls never liking you. No girl liked me until I met my ex-girlfriend when I was 17. I was in a LDR until circumstances out of my control ended it. Conflicting religions and that stuff. The girl I had was the woman I wanted to marry in the future but it seems like it wasn't meant to be. I still can't get over her and move on. When my father passed away I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I was on medication a while ago but haven't for about a year. I have an amazing family but I have the same problem. I don't feel that love for them, or anyone. Honestly, I would suggest you talk to your parents, if they are how you describe they will understand and support you. As for the porn, I would try quit. I'm trying to let go of it, it only makes me feel worse. It feels like a release but it is no good for you. Hope you figure it out. Stay blessed.
     
  3. Try to stop PMO'ing. I'm convinced it does more harm than good. I feel more love without PMO.
     
  4. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    I vouch. I can tell me struggling with PMO lately has been taking a toll on me talking to this girl I like and have been talking to for over a month now. I'm gonna stick to no PMO again and get myself on track. I suggest you do the same. It helps a lot.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    There are deeper issues involved than PMO.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    You can't feel love or you do not want to feel love? Not the same
     
  7. I want to feel love but my brain isn't letting it in...
     
  8. yup, I've been doing it on hard mode for a week and it's going good! I don't feel any changes but I'm kind of starting to move away from porn, which is a good start.
     
    Phoenixfeathers likes this.
  9. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  10. I'll try but this is tearing me apart. She's literally everything I want in a woman and we were really made for each other, we fit in with each other perfectly but I just don't feel that rush of emotions that is supposed to happen...
     
  11. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  12. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Don't wait for the reboot to finish. This isn't going to get better from a reboot.
     
  13. I would say that not everyone feels love the same. We're all wired up differently and have different backgrounds that have made us what we are today. Love as I experience it isn't a rush of feeling, it's a glow or a warmth that comes in my chest, and the feeling comes and goes. It isn't constant. I wouldn't get too hung up on this. The fact it worries you so much suggests you do love your girlfriend. If it really bothers you, maybe try counselling. Are you abstaining from PMO? Also love reveals itself through your actions.
     
  14. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  15. Yes, I'm abstaining from PMO, been doing it since August 10th(when I started dating). Let's see how that goes....
     
  16. In my 5 months and a half of reboot PMO free I feel numb and in differente ways towards guys. I'm uncapable for now to feel "normal feelings" as I used before. It's like I pushed the reset button

    I feel not just due to heartbreak I experienced right before my reboot but maybe also the fact I turned my life upside down

    Looking back a year ago this day I lead my life in a completely different way. Drawn and stuck into the sea of my sex and p addiction. My body and mind went through a lot of changes since then. I went through disintoxication

    I thought about this the other day. I felt my addictions "raped" my personality. I became something I never was

    It takes time to heal how p damaged your life and thinking. But maybe that girl is not really right for you. You cannot force feelings. About your parents I am sure you need time to get back to yourself.

    How long are in your reboot? If you have the countdown I cannot see it I'm on my phone
     
  17. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    In my experience you need to be friends first because you should be each other's best friend and you each put the other first. The other thing I have discovered is that you will know when you truly Love someone because their well being and happiness is more important to you than your own.
     

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