Can't control myself

Hello,

First, you can do this, my friend! You're not alone on your journey; we're all in this together!

I'm going to share some of the things that I used when I first joined. They helped me a lot. Also, is there a way you can break off contact with this woman you have phone sex with? Maybe delete her contact info and block hernumber? It sounds like contact with her is a huge trigger for you to pmo.

Here are the things that helpedme:

There are a lot of good resources here. There is the List of Resources found here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/

There are also groups you can join with likeminded men. I see you've done this already! Great!

Three things I found extremely valuable are:
-getting an accountability partner; that forum is here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/accountability-partners.7/

-starting a journal and writing in it daily. You'll find that section under Reboot Logs. I would also suggest reading others' journals and other posts.

-interact with the guys here. You will find an amazing community of supportive, motivating guys all on the same journey as you are. Are you very active in the groups you joined?

The sexual thoughts will fade with time, but not go away entirely. Memories of porn will fade (favorite scenes, etc.), but human brains are always going to fantasize. The thing to do is find a way to stop that behavior from triggering you to pmo.

What I do is this:
-I notice that I'm having a thought;
-I do NOT follow it or explore it;
-I change my focus to something else (hobby, etc.);
-I distract myself by engaging in the hobby, etc.
-I congratulate myself for deflecting the thought/urge (positive self-talk is very important, I think!)

Do you meditate? If so, think of the above as similar to meditation. You're focused on your breathing; a thought drifts across your mind's eye; you don't follow the thought, you return your focus to your breath.

It's the same practice, really. If you don't meditate, I highly recommend that you start. It's great training for the mind. I can give you ideas if you need them.

I also take cold showers, instead of hot showers. They not only kill urges, but they help develop stronger self-discipline, greater mental focus/clarity, and actually relieve tension for me. If you are interested in trying, please ask me how I started. You do NOT want to start with fully cold water right away! The discomfort will be too much and you won't be able to maintain the practice.

You don't have to do this alone. We're all in this together, and together we are stronger.

I hope this helps! I'm here if you have questions.

You CAN do this, my friend! I believe in you!

 

Super advice here. The meditation thing is quite valid, and I also find that stuff like running, learning an instrument etc are good. Essentially, getting in the zone but it not being the jacking off, ejaculating or sexual fantasy zone. Get 'addicted' to the right habits..