Can you evaluate me please

Those are interesting points. I have heard some Christians say that masturbation without pornography is just fine.

When I PMO, I often fantasize quite a bit. I imagine story lines so that the images become more like illustrations to my fantasy. Sometimes I read erotic stories that have no images at all.

I don't know. I suspect it is degrees of danger in different erotic stimuli. Maybe visualizing a real person is the least dangerous.

 

Well, since you never had sex you don't know if you have PIED. We all can get erections it is just that they do not happen when we need them...right during our sexual encounter.

 

I'll try to answer your question from my point of view. The thoughts of other forum members might differ, but I think in general most people would agree.

There are different "levels" of porn so to speak: Of course pictures or videos of people having sex is "porn" in the literal meaning. Also pictures and videos of nude people are considered porn most of the time, even if there is no sex involved (well, at least if those pictures are intended to be arousing). An exception might be art or something along those lines. A portrait of a famous artist for example wouldn't be porn, at least not from my perspective.

Pictures/videos/other stuff, which aren't supposed to be arousing (e.g. profile photos on facebook, photos in news papers, art, etc.) aren't "porn" in this sense. BUT if you look at something like this with the intention of arousal it is considered a Psub (porn substitute). Regarding a reboot, looking at something of this category would be a reason to reset the counter too.

So if you are not sure, if something classifies as porn: Ask yourself if there was sex. If yes, restart. If not, then ask yourself if you were still aroused by the picture. If no, you're good to go most of the times (some exeptions might exist). If yes, ask yourself, if you looked at it with the intension to get aroused. If no, you're most likely good to go. If yes, you should restart.
And don't worry, if you come across pornographic images by accident. It's all about your intentions. By following this rule, there might be some misinterpretations, but I'm sure you will learn pretty fast, what is considered porn and what not.

Just have in mind: Only because something isn't "porn", it can easily be a "Psub", which also should be avoided.

 

That's very slippery slope. I would highly recommend to avoid such behaviours, at least while you're rebooting.

 

Johan libert
Good

 

In addition to being a porn addict, I’m also a sex addict in recovery. In my experience, whatever the image, if in my mind the person is naked, it’s porn in my head. So it’s porn. The whole point of getting away from porn is that it’s fantasy, which is unhealthy.

 

I would not agree to that statement. Fantasy isn't unhealthy generally speaking.

 

Regarding this statement i agree 110%. As a teen i often masterbated to “fantasies” very rarely looked at porn, maybe once of month or every other month. After technology advanced i saw how easy it was to watch porn. Soon its available very very quickly. While starting my journey it was just to kick the porn. Went a week or two without porn or masturbation then i was loaded up one day and masturbated and felt ok about it just a “quickie”. The times after that I tried to masturbate to get a quick release but it made me relapse with porn. So now on this go I’m only having sex with my wife. In some religion masturbation is frowned upon because of the thoughts you have during the act. So not to be religious to anyone. Not masturbating, will greatly help with the porn. When i wake up hard or get hard out of the blue i go and take a leak, it takes a lot of pressure off down there for some reason. During sex focus on your partner, look them in the eye, be involved with them. These are things that help me. There is a thread somewhere in here regarding you brain and orgasming through porn and orgasming through sex with your partner. It’s much healthier to orgasm with a partner.

 

well, you came to the right place man. just dont give up and always ask questions. also look into semen retention, it has some awesome benefits

 

That depends upon the type of fantasy. Based on your writings above, I’m not sure of your specific meaning. Any fantasy that is completely non-sexual can be healthy as long as it doesn’t represent depiction of any type of harm to oneself or anyone else. However, for a pirn addict or sex addict, EVERY type of fantasy that is explicitly or implicitly sexual in any way is porn and therefore unhealthy. An example of something implicitly sexual would be g-rated photos or moving images including tv shows, theatrical movies and even seemingly benign commercials or magazine and newspaper ads of people dressed or scantily clad, that in our minds we envision as naked. This end result, in our brains, is porn. As you well know, a Rose by any other name is still a rose. If it’s sexual & therefore porn on our brain, dopamine is released and that’s it, end of story.

We must all be willing to be rigorously honest with ourselves in addressing and rooting out the horrible beast of porn and sex addiction if we’re to have any hope of keeping it at bay, one day at a time. I need to also point out that porn and sex addiction, just like alcohol and drug addiction can never be cured. There is no cure for addiction, we will be addicts til he day we die. The best any of us can do is to do the things we must every day, one day at a time, to live a happy, fulfilling life.

If you haven’t seen the Gary Wilson YouTube video “Your Brain on Porn: How Internet porn affects the brain”,



Gary is a researcher who has studied porn addiction for some time and describes the neuroscience of the addiction mechanism in the brain. The way porn addiction works is exactly the same way that alcohol and drug addiction work, but the “hit” or “high” from porn is many times stronger than heroin. His website is: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com

Noah Church is another expert who has YouTube videos about this too. His website is:

https://addictedtointernetporn.com/?author=1

Noah has many gr8 videos, check them out.

- Beach

 

All good points said in the above comments. One thing I will admit is that I have just as much of a problem with social media, particularly Facebook, as I do hardcore porn. Facebook has been a Psub for me for years, and it's ultimately just fap material all the same. My brain has made it a trigger for me.

Also PIED, or limp dick as I like to call it, does not take long to recover from. A couple weeks at most, but overcoming the craving and sexual cues to porn and other stimuli is the much harder task.

 

I think we had a bit of a misunderstanding then. I read your argument and I agree. But in your first message, to me it sounded like you think fantasy is an unhealthy thing for every person including perfectly healthy non-addicts. In this case, I would disagree. But since you seem to focus specificly on addicts, we basically share the same opinion.

And thanks for the suggestion to watch Gary & Noah, but I'm already very familiar with both of them. They create very helpful content, indeed.