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CAN we watch porn in moderation?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by demonicale, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. demonicale

    demonicale Fapstronaut

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    The reason i ask, is that I'm worried about my lack of libido since going no PMO.

    I rarely get any erections since i started doing it, and when i see a nice women, yeah i get a desire to talk to her etc, but I don't get horny or anything.

    I guess what I'm saying is that the lack of a libido is worrying me. I'm at day 9 (10 is today) and i want to know if my desire will come back. From reading other people's accounts, they were getting massive desires to masturbate and watch porn straight away, but I've had no desire to masturbate, just to watch porn.

    Would it ever be ok to watch some porn in MODERATION?

    Thanks.
     
  2. fred2014!

    fred2014! Fapstronaut

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    Hi demonical

    Your flat lineing, it's normal. For me it was about four weeks of hell (sorry), but it does pass and you will feel better.

    Try to hang in there and ride it out. I'm sorry to say P and M are closely linked and would only give you a very short term fix.

    Your frame of reference for women or sex is porn. If you meet a nice girl focus on her and real women will become appealing again.

    Just takes time

    Later
     
  3. supergolum

    supergolum Fapstronaut

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    To each his own way of doing Nofap I guess, but I would definitely NOT recommend watching porn while doing Nofap. At the very least in your first weeks/months, hopefully not at all.

    From what you are saying, Porn is your addiction, not Fapping, so porn should be the main thing you stay away from. The lack of desire/libido is all part of the process. Some people here call it flatlining. You could try reading a bit more on the subject. Everybody reacts differently to NoFap, and you might find you react differently from one attemp to another, but it's all part of the process.

    You might flatline for a few weeks, then have a super high sex-drive for a few days, then start flatlining again, or just get back to "normal" after that. But every symptom of withdrawal is a proof that what you are doing is working, and that you are getting closer to your goal. Your brain will definitely try to negotiate with you (Its okay to watch soft porn.. It doesn't count if it's just erotic stories etc.) but it's just another proof that you are getting one step closer to succeed.

    Keep going! You made it this far and 9 days is already a good streak. Hopefully you'll be able to keep going! I suggest you read a lot on the subject. If you haven't already, you can try visiting www.yourbrainonporn.com to help you understand exactly what is going on in your head when you PMO!

    Cheers!
     
  4. demonicale

    demonicale Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys i really appreciate your advice, seems we have an excellent community here!

    I have heard of flatlining, but didn't know that was what they were talking about, so thank you so much for letting me know about that.

    I've decided that my main problem currently is porn, not masturbation. But they both go hand in hand haha, so i shall keep away from porn completely.

    I apologize for not knowing more on the subject, I'm going to go check out that website Supergolum and clue myself in more.

    Again THANK YOU!
     
  5. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Demonicale, you asked a question. The answer is no. It is like a heroin addict asking, can I use it just a little. The question is "can I use just a little bit of heroin while I am trying to quit using heroine?" You might say porn is not heroine, but the reality is that heroine is synthetic dopamine, and dopamine is what gets us high when using porn.

    I am sorry if this seems direct or blunt, but this is the truth, and I think you are here to hear the truth.

    I know, when I was in the midst of the addiction, I put some value in porn. It was an emotional crutch I relied on, it was a friend that never said no, it was always a moment of relief in a world that often seemed harsh and unsympathetic. But porn is not your friend. Porn does not give a damn about you. It is a mechanism to release a drug in your head...nothing more. It is false, it is fake, it is a lie that we love telling ourselves, over and over and over again. It is chain we build one link at a time.

    It is time to quit building that chain, it is time to take it off, it is time for you to start hating the thing you have become a slave to. Give it up. Get clean, get free. And what will you give up when giving up porn? Nothing. Porn has no value, so it costs you nothing to give it. Give it up, walk away from it, defriend it, excommunicate it. Get clean.

    Good luck on your journey.
     
  6. bohren

    bohren Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    F*ck moderation man! Quit porn and anything related to it (softcore and all kinds of sexy images/videos included) and eventually you'll be a new man. You have to stay motivated in order to leave the pathetic porn addict self behind.

    Stay strong!

    Bohren
     
  7. demonicale

    demonicale Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys, i think it's my desperation to watch it that's trying to rationalize that it's ok to watch it.

    I've not watched any today and don't plan to. It's been 9 days, 10 days being today without it or masturbation, so i think I'm doing amazing.
     
  8. diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    Going hardcore is actually a lot of easier. If you try to dabble with sexual imagines, you'll relapse -- and if not, you'll be in constant mental conflict. Ever since I cut all the sexual imagery out of my life, nofap has been way easier. Spend your time on something positive instead.

    My first 10 days were tough, mostly because I kept viewing websites that showed a lot of skin (facebook, dating websites, etc). Once I cut that out, it hasn't been such a battle.
     

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