That's refreshing. Yeah, I call bullshit, but whatever! Yep! You pulled it out of your ass...you and 3.7 Million others according to a google search of the term. LMAO, how did you manage to keep a straight face? I mean, the shit that comes out of his mouth. That's great! Use gaslighting to tell you gaslighting is all in your head. You just can't make this shit up. LOL, well, I'm no expert, but...(sorry, this just cracks me up). Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I didn't use the word "pacify", but I think I did use the word "patronize". Yeah, I'd be overly cautious of that damned promise myself. For the record, every addict I know, myself incluced, stood or sat right before their partner and told them a bold face lie. It's a known fact in the addiction community. Here! I wrote this a long time ago for your entertainment pleasure: How to Lie to your SO (…and Get Away with It) https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-lie-to-your-so-…and-get-away-with-it.175266/ Well of course you did. The narrative you created in your head is that you are, in fact, sane. If he had to make it a point to declare all the benign ways he uses IMDB while subsequently claiming it's not nearly as bad as arousing as when he used chatrooms for hours of sexual banter..." Did he just do an end around to admit to doing it? I think he did. Well, from all I have learned so far, he certainly is a lowsy lay. I mean, as sex addicts, we all are. It isn't until you come out of your addiction, that you can begin to show signs of sexual life that your Partner can live with. Go ahead. Let him blame you. Hell, take full credit for it. Why? It's true. "...all his sexuality..." is bad! Why? Because we suck at it. Do a survey of women betrayed, and see what statistic you come up with. Then take his billigerant ass to Disney World. It is a beautiful endless world of "fantasy". In no uncertain terms, do not indulge his sexual fantasies. You will only be enabling him, and it will do nothing to improve the situation whatsoever. Don't ever agree to this crap with an addict. Interesting. My men's group talked about this 50% this evening. If he's putting in his 50%, then he's only putting in half of what you are; 100%. Both parties to a relationship must put in 100%. That's how relationships thrive. I get it. He wants to be equal. Fine. Go all in, put in your 100%, and let's call it a day. Otherwise, your 50% isn't worth the oxygen used to say it. BINGO! That was a very good response. Is that all you are to him? An object for his sexual gratification? That's what your entire relationship surrounds and is to him? Wow, I just can't believe he had the audacity to say it, but this addiction takes all forms. Is that right? Hey, if you wanted power and to control him, all you'd have to do is take all the evidence before you, find yourself a very good divorce attorney, and you'd have power and control over him for the next two decades. Boundaries are not about power and control. They are about self preservation, allowing you to maintain a safe and secure presence in your environment. Nothing more. Violation of Boundaries that affect you is a choice he made/makes. Can you say "addict"! Damn he is hard headed. And you should have to enforce it, but you know that you do have to. He did this to himself. It is a natural consequence of his outragous behavior. Well if you're doing nothing wrong, it can't be a trap now can it? What a ridiculously absurd statement. Yeah, I'm sure you just sit around thinking up ways to trap him? Trap my ass. YES! This! YES! Yeah, well he better figure it out real soon before he ends up spending a better part of his young adulthood paying child support. Yep, that made up word again. How could he. It is so illogical. And he should be careful promises he can not/will not keep. Speaking of recording, I think it is incumbent upon you to to start recording everything, if you haven't done so already. You will want to have a doumentation trail if/when it becomes necessary to use one. Remember what I said. An addict will protect their addiction at all costs. That might not be such a bad idea. I'm not so sure you need more counseling though. You seem to be getting a grasp of your situation and how to proprerly deal with it in a healthy manner. You may need to process some psychologoical battle scars you've endured along the way. On your part? Definitely Progress. On his part? Definitly Insanity. Yes, But you're also having to process all this shit. There is a light. Either way, you'll come out a better, stronger, more resilient, confident woman on the other side of all of this. We all reach our breaking point, and when we do, we're done. It's some of both. Telling you that he hated you was just mean and cruel and nasty. And it's addict driven. If you think back about it, you were incredibly strong then. You buckeled down and did what you had to do for the safety and well being of your unborn children. That speaks volumes for your tenacity to rise to the occasion. Think about all the shit you have endured, and it doesn't take long to figure out, you're a pretty damned strong woman. Which may not be a direct violation of the boundaries, but definitely a violation of the spirit of the boundaries. No matter what you decide to do, go ahead and add it. Of course, he'll balk at that too, whine about the accountability app, etc. etc. Indeed we will. DO NOT give in. DO NOT let him beat you down. He is becoming more hostile and exibiting more anxiety because those things he used to use to control you are systematically being taken away from him. I think you've got this. You just need support from those around you to help reinforce it and help you follow through on whatever decision you make. As you continue to tighten the screws, he'll either break and hit "Rock Bottom" or he will give in to his addiction at which time, it wouldn't matter what you do. His addiction is fully in control. BTW, sorry for the delayed response. I fell asleep.