Buddhist Practice and "Sexual Misconduct"

I certainly understand viewing porn to be sexual misconduct. Misconduct aside, Ajahn Brahm has described clicking on porn like becoming lost the moment you enter the site, you're already lost the very moment you log onto it. So even though it harms and is considered misconduct by all means, it is very unskillful and does not aid our meditation practice.

The precepts are there as they will lead us to genuine happiness. This is not to restrain us and make us feel restricted! It is to aid our cultivation and bring about wholesome and skillful ways of conducting ourselves so we can advance in the right direction. Towards liberation and enlightenment.

I don't want to comment on masturbation in regards to the precept, but for me it is terribly unwholesome, fruitless, and of course it shortens lifespan and really kills your energy lol.

I have read somewhere a Dharma Master call it totally upside down behavior.

I don't need much else to know I want it out of my life lol!

Welcome!

 

I think casual sex is extremely unskillful and in most cases someone serious on the Path is going to avoid it.

But ya I have done things I am not proud of.

I actually have openly spoke with my Master about my problems with porn and fapping and my Dharma brothers often speak of their issues there are no secrets we keep. But yes it's not a conversation to have out in the open with the entire sangha in most cases!

 

I consider sexual misconduct to be any sexual behavior what results in harming (physically or mentally) a being. Obviously things like rape or having sex with a married woman without her husbands permission (if he would be fine with it then I would not consider it sexual misconduct, cos in that case it's consensual from all three parties involved) is sexual misconduct. And consensual sex would not be sexual misconduct. Not even one night stands, cos there is nothing immoral about having sex outside of marriage. Neither would I consider masturbation or even watching pornography a sexual misconduct. Because it's consensual both from you and actors. And it doesn't result in harming anybody, if it's done right.

Now, when I say "results in harming of a being" I don't just mean other people but also yourself. So that means porn can be sexual misconduct, if one is harming themselves with it. Same goes for masturbation and even sex withing marriage between two people who love each other. Even those things can end up in situation where it can be harmful for somebody. So in that case even sex between married people would be sexual misconduct. But usually these things doesn't happen, people are just enjoying love, connection and having fun. Same goes for masturbation to porn for somebody who is not addicted (yes, I do believe porn can be healthy for some if done responsibly and in moderation).

If anything I would put pornography under a precept of not indulging in intoxicating substances. I think it makes more sense in that context than in sexual misconduct part.

 

Yes I think it is vital. This group is one of the newest actually.

It is so good someone came around to making it!

 

Ya porn is so heavily intertwined with causing harm to people involved in it and even harming those who watch it, it's just bad juju man.

I don't think cruelty free porn is something a person of sound mind would get tied up with.

Staring and lusting at non-pornographic images of people who are not even naked for instance to indulge in sexual stimulation, this is not in line with the Buddha's teachings.

 

If you actually take part frequent in meditation retreats, that can help. The easiest way to deal with sexual misconducts including porn is through meditation. If you keep on meditating everyday, you may reach a point in life when you won't feel the need for porn or even sex as most people use these two when they are suffering. When you extremely happy, you wouldn't feel like watching porn or sex. And staying mindfulness takes urges away anyway. Easier said than done though of course.

 

Here's one I saw on YT about this Guy who isn't really a Buddhist (or a Hindu) but his videos are really helpful:

 

Gil Fronsdal of the Insight Meditation Center has a great Dharma talk on sexual misconduct over at audiodharma

http://www.audiodharma.org/teacher/...l_Fronsdal-IMC-avoiding_sexual_misconduct.mp3

And a whole series on Wise Sexuality

http://www.audiodharma.org/series/1/talk/4566/

OP you should check them out.

 

With these precepts, they are meant to be followed by the body, speech, and mind - all three. So watching porn of a different woman whiles being married to a different woman is a form of misconduct is it is done in secret (its a different issue if both partners are watching porn together).

As for porn, the typical paradigm of it is very outdated, instead, I hope for porn to transform where it is no longer to do with entertainment but take a paradigm shift to educational sex videos which can educate men, women, couples and even children who are learning about sex education. I am not saying that this is correct, but this is just my opinion only.

If you do enough mindfulness meditation and reach a Dhyana then this is meant to be the most pleasurable experience one will ever have in the world and the desire for sexual activity is supposed to diminish rapidly.