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Broken vagina?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Ghost79, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    My gf told me her vagina was broken from her born baby and the doctors didn't repaired it neatly. Would this impact the sexual experience?
     
  2. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    I think an explanation of what you mean by “broken” is to have any kind of thought on the matter.
    Did she have some sort of a complication that caused damaged through natural birth or a C section?
     
  3. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I think she ment damaged through natural birth from her son as she said the doctor needed to sew it.
    And I had sex with her but it didn't feel all that great, maybe its me because of my years of PMO. She's my first woman I did with without protection so I don't have compare material! But seeing how much the men enjoy sex in porn mine was lousy and I'm disappointed with the sexual experience I had with her.
     
  4. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Many women suffer vaginal tearing when they give birth naturally. That is a result normally of the body trying to come out of the vaginal canal. Some have to actually be cut and that is referred to as an episiotomy. But the doctors do sew you back together and you should not be able to tell the difference at all. The vagina shrinks back. I suspect it’s like your PMO that is causing the issues. I have never given birth and am extremely small, my ex addict could not feel anything during sex with me. Stop all PMO for 90 days and then see if it still happens, I suspect it will not. She’s likely insecure about her vagina and you not being able to perform during sex or saying you do not feel anything is making it worse, and causing her to blame herself, that’s what women do. We blame ourselves.
     
  5. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    Well first, have actual sex is not porn. Porn sex is way off base from intimate relationships with actual women.

    Second, how long ago did she have a baby? If you are referring to the normal vaginal tear that happens in natural child birth it takes time to heal but it’s really not going make much difference. She could have been feeling embarrassed and insecure so in hopes you would be open minded threw it out there but I really don’t know what you or her mean.

    Plenty of complications can happen and could be many different things. I for one had a very complicated C section and to top it off the doctor didn’t put the whole of my abdominal wall back in place. I had back complications for 20 years but it never hindered good sex.

    Having a baby and “breaking” a vagina is a complete misconception just like the “loose” vagina afterwards is completely false and quite the opposite actually. In reality a very immature falsehood.

    The biggest mistake I can see you having is for one comparing sex with her to porn.

    Here is food for thought, if you felt it was lousy and she new/felt it, if she felt insecure it would hinder her in bed as well, or you both could just not be compatible in bed. If I can speak frankly and I’m just putting this out for you to think about but maybe it’s more With you rather then anything that actually has to do with her?
    Please don’t take offense I’m just hoping you think about the angles.
     
  6. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I did not blame her for anything. And she believed I enjoyed sex with her. She liked too but was a little disappointed that I didn't last long enough. A result of my PMO addiction surely.
    She actually didn't mention it at first, I saw and noticed something off on her vagina and asked what it was. She then explained about her doctor sewing her broken vagina in a not beautiful manner.
    Her son now is 5 and she told me that if she ever gives birth again it is very likely it will break once more.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2018
  7. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I did not say that you blamed her. She blamed herself. When a man has performance issues a woman blames herself even if the man does not or tells her it’s not her fault. When on top of that you pointed out a something that she was already self conscious about that likely made her feel horrible even if she did not say it did. Just a piece of advice from a woman to a man don’t say stuff like that or ask questions like that of a woman! I suspect you asked totally innocently but that’s like saying “hey did you put on a few pounds?” That’s never going to end well for you.

    Finally I suspect that porn has taught you up close and personal what a vagina looks like right? The vaginas in porn are th best of the most perfect that’s why they are there. It is no more realistic than the penises in porn! They are not that big or that Pretty in real life. All vaginas look different whether they have had a tear or a baby. Just like all penises look different.
     
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 and Jennica like this.
  8. realcheese

    realcheese Fapstronaut

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    She grew a human being, and then birthed that human being out of the most sacred place in her body, for someone to spot a flaw in it when their control sample is porn star vaginas is the most disrespectful thing, when you can grow whole humans and bring them earthside you get to comment on a persons vagina (ps and even then it’s only to say what a thing of absolute beauty it is)
     
    Trappist, Darkligh and GG2002 like this.
  9. realcheese

    realcheese Fapstronaut

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    Ps: it is you and your PMO
    Pps: she has had one baby so she could have another, use protection unless you want to make this woman miserable for another 18 years
     
    Darkligh likes this.
  10. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    She used the pill and we are discussing about a possible marriage already. I felt something not normal during sex so I wanted to know what it was and then she explained about her broken vagina in the past.
     
  11. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    I am hesitant to write this. But some people seem to be jumping to conclusions here. While I agree it is a sensitive subject and could of made her self conscious or brought up negative feelings, as long done gently there is nothing wrong with asking her about it. You didn't know what it was and didn't seem like you were being nasty about it. I do think you need to stop comparing real sex with porn. They are completely different things and if you have expectations of what it 'should' be like based on that you are doing both you and her a disservice. You need to learn about sex from real sex with a real person. Not by watching actors on a screen.
     
  12. Vaginas are like snowflakes—each beautiful and unique in their own way. So each one also feels different and unique as well. While there is a certain “uniformity” to the overall design (just like penises) some can have differences that may be noticeable. Meaning there’s nothing wrong with them.

    That being said, we PAs lose a lot of sensation and nerve sensitivity due to PMO, death grip, etc. You need to cancel that out as a possibility before assuming there’s an aberration with your lady’s honeypot.

    And a word of advice: the only thing you should ever say about a woman’s body (any part!) is something positive.
     
  13. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    You got it right! Don’t say a word unless its positive.
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  14. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry but there is no way for this to be done gently. Is there anyway to gently say “hey your P is really small and I can’t feel it?” Does it make it easier if she adds is it a defect, did you have an accident? Come on now some things you just don’t say. All women feel different, just like all men do.
     
  15. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    It seems we disagree on some things. I am a woman, and this is the way I feel. It is different than they way you feel and that is fine. If something seems off, mentally or physically, I have no issue with asking a question or being asked. Maybe it is because both my BF and I have many health issues so hard questions sometimes come up and are important. How are you suppose to learn if you never ask?
     
    Nugget9 likes this.
  16. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    There are some women that may feel differently sure but when you are just getting to know someone as this writer was you can’t really judge that and so imo it’s better to err on the side of caution as not doing so could tank a guys chances with her. And if you are dating for awhile and know each other well than you also tend to know how your SO will react to such things.
    And I think this is rather different than discussing a medical condition and more about this naivety. She does not have a medical condition she just feels and looks to him different than what he’s used to. It’s not like he’s saying it feels better either.
     
    Darkligh likes this.
  17. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    Like I said, we disagree. Different experiences different personalities. I did use me and my BF as an example, but that was all it was. And I do see it as medical at this point. She 'broke' her vagina, something is different. I have a hard time getting my thoughts across sometimes but that doesn't change that I personally don't feel he was wrong for asking her when he felt something was off. This is coming from someone who is very sensitive and has very little self confidence. I get it, you feel differently.
     
    Ghost79 and kropo82 like this.
  18. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I was even worried if she might have something if you know what I mean...
     

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