Brand New First Post

Hi.
54 year old. Ill use the name Steve if thats okay.

In a sexless marriage for last 10 years. Married 26.
I can masturbate with or without porn. Super hard erections.
Multiple times daily.

Im going to be 100% honest off the bat...might as well.
Have been in an affair since january 2018.

Details to follow later.

 

So do i just introduce myself here and talk about myself and people respond? Or do i find another thread and join in discussion?
Im looking for help ,accountability and encouragement.

And thank you Shawn1090

 

So. I have a sex partner and im slowly getting soft-medium erections.
Ive had limited success stopping pmo. Ive gone as long as 1 week.
But ive also masturbated without porn.
When my partner first starting touching it and giving me a bj I couldn't feel her hand or mouth. It freaked me out. I touch it ..no problem.
My porn habit has escalated to gross stuff. Starting with masturbating as a teen to SI swimsuit model Christie Brinkley, then , fitness/womens bodybuilding/ basically aghketic women.
In highschool i had one girlfriend. We would make out and eventually she gave me hand job until i orgasmed. Everytime we got together I wanted that and it was all about me.

 

Moving ahead. That was my senior year in HS. So still a virgin.
I had no girlfriend in college only masturbating to magazines.
Then senior year in college I had an affair with a teacher at the school i was student teaching at.
She gave me bj and she swallowed and hj. I had little problems getting up. She was super sexy and hot looking...and experienced. I was still virgin at this point.
We slept together every night. One morning i got super hard and went into her but immediately got out.
I chickened out being a good "christian"

 

That ended after about 1 year.
Masturbation continued. Habitual, many times a day.
I met my future wife in 1990. Married in 1992..still a virgin. Her too.
No problems at all on wedding night. Super hard, multiple orgasms and lots of sex. In our first year of marriage we would have sex 7 days a week. And 2-4 times on weekends. I had veen starting computer porn as well.
So over time as my wife put on weight(she was super hot when we got married) i noticed i had to ask her to put heels on and sexy lingerie or lift weights in front of me...or i i couldn't get hard. Once i did i was fine but...sex was all about me...i totally focused on how i could get hard and wasnt trying to please my wife.

 

It got worse and worse. We had our first child,she put weight on. Kess sex,more pmo.
Then more pmo as she got more out of shape. Second child 2 years later.

Sex was getting really hurtful emotionally for my wife. She felt like a live blowup doll.
I never made love to her and was starting to get ED.
Long story short over next 10 years it got worse and worse until we just quit having sex

 

That was 10 years ago. So ive been in a sexless marriage 10 years and only have masturbation.
My porn addiction got worse..im now up to transwoman and cuckold to get off. Normal heterosexual porn doesnt work.

 

Then i meet a woman. She is absolutely beautiful and totally out of my league...and 16 years younger than me.
Ive had an affair with her now for 10 months.

 

Tbc later.

 

Im getting the sense im talking to myself and posting here isnt worth it

 

Hi. Thanks. In our 26 years of marriage we have been in counseling for 16 of them off and on.
We have stopped. Ive gone myself for longer but not recently.
Yeah i think you are right that the forum is more for PM. That's great..i will focus on that.
Its really why i came here anyway.