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Boring personality

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by jack barnard, Jun 21, 2017.

  1. jack barnard

    jack barnard Fapstronaut

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    Ok hello everyone, first post here, just going to get straight in there and explain what happened to get me into this mess i'm in and how i'm getting out but would love input and would be interested to see what everyones opinions are about this topic!

    So personally i found the magazines aged 11, started watching softcore and was on hardcore by 13, watched a lot of different shit, some good some weird as i'm sure everyone has whilst on this bad habit! So just getting out after a ridiculous amount of time wasted watching and watching this shit, and am feeling so much better because of it, keeping myself busy as much as possible which i think is the key to it all!

    Anyway my theory is because of watching so much porn over the years my personality has suffered, this doesn't mean that I haven't travelled, and done many great things, but because of watching all this shit, and because i never had to try to raise my game or even have to get talking to women, it's affected how i interact with women when wanting to date them. One comes across as just boring, with not much to say because of being unused to actually having to try is really doing my head in, something i'm currently learning how to become more engaging etc and being able to tell stories of what i've done which is key!

    Anyway what does everyone else think, sorry if it's too long, wasn't sure how to say this without it becoming like a 10 page story?!
     
    Powerous likes this.
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi I'm female and honestly I don't think anyone is boring. I can always make convo no matter who it is so I doubt you are boring. You may just be shy, lack confidence and/ or be an introvert. You may even have some social anxiety I don't know. This is often a question of what came first the chicken or the egg? Many men turn to pmo because they have already underlying traits that find interacting with live women more difficult. Then it turns into an addiction as the unhappiness and low self esteem feed any addiction. So do I think pmo caused this? I think it aggravated it for sure but caused it probably not. I also think not interacting with the opposite sex until you are older contributes. I find men that went to same sex schools or were home schooled really struggle. Don't try to impress women just be yourself. And work on your confidence.
     
    SuperFan and jack barnard like this.
  3. jack barnard

    jack barnard Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply, its useful seeing it from a woman's perspective , I don't necessarily think I'm too boring as chatting with women is fine, just taking it to the next level i find hard, introvert is definitely right and a social anxiety in large groups but I should probably just try harder i'm guess!! taking leadership courses, and confidence is coming on slowly!
     
  4. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Wherever the social anxiety comes from, staying on NoFap and abstaining from PMO will only help you in this area.

    Think about it--if you can get a sexual release from porn and masturbation literally at will, why on earth would you go through the trouble of approaching a woman you're attracted to, with all of the chances for rejection or failure? Hell no--I'd stick with the PMO--and for years, that's exactly what I did.

    But the longer you abstain from PMO, the natural drive within you will grow and you'll feel compelled to start putting yourself out there. You'll take more risks. You might still be afraid of rejection, but your desire for connection will start to overpower it. And when a woman sees a man who's willing to risk rejection, that says a lot to her about his confidence.

    Basically, stay on NoFap. The rewards will come.
     
    jack barnard, Fighter84 and Flyhigh like this.
  5. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

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    I often have this same feeling about myself. For myself, it's really when I want to beat myself up and try to justify why I'm not good enough or why it seems impossible to meet someone.

    But from a different viewpoint, if this makes sense: I am boring sometimes! I just have to find someone who it's the right amount of boring for!
     
  6. HeadAche

    HeadAche Guest

  7. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

    I agree right now I feel like I have a ''boring'' personality. I read somewhere a while ago that porn and masturbation addiction can effect your personality almost damage it, since it harms your frontal lobe: which is the part of the brain associated with logic, personality, though processing, planning etc. From my experience on a nofap journey after my extreme porn addictions I can confirm that it literally has burned out my frontal lobe, during withdrawals I became so numb, desensitised, monotone, zombie. Looking back at it it's kind of funny , Im also currently going thru this right now.

    What I realised from experience is that after 2-3 months without porn/masturbation, my personality improves (or goes back to normal and I get to develop it), this is mainly due to more energy, confidence, time, what with all that sexual energy stored within you. Just keep going brother, you are on the 2 months mark you will feel more and more benefits along the way.
     

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