Bloom Journal

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by bloom, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Today is day 2.

    I had a bad relapse two days ago.
    Today I feel sad and lonely, fro my past experience I know this happens every time in the 2-4 days range.
    I guess is related to a dramatic decrease of the dopamine in the brain.

    This feeling of not having anyone special is really hard to sustain.
     
  2. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Just a reminder of how I felt after a relapse.
    Dont' forget.



    Here I'm, after a relapse.
    After hours of trance like state, watching shit I don't even like.
    If only we could just remember how we feel after a relapse, it would be easier to fight the urges.

    Some time ago I took a drastic measure: completely erase the computer I've used for years for this addiction. This helped me reach the 20 days mark, but this wasn't enough.
    So this time I will go further: I've removed the computer from my bedroom, and tomorrow I will disassemble it into pieces.

    It's time to quit this shit.
     
    isuma_12 and Bubbles like this.
  3. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Day 3 of my journey...
    Again today feeling sad and lonely... I wish I could have a normal life with a beautiful woman...

    PMO is the real problem
     
  4. sol245

    sol245 Fapstronaut

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    Its gonna be ok, friend. I know how it feels. Just hang in there. Do you read or listen to audiobooks? Watching some motivational youtube videos can lift your spirit as well...

    All the best.
     
  5. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    So here I am, after the first week.

    I'm good... I had a lot of things to do (especially on the week-end) so I didn't have time to think about P.
     
  6. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed... Feeling really bad today

    Tomorrow is another day, another day to restart
     
  7. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    1st day again after a 8 days streak...

    So happy to see the counter increase again
     
  8. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Second day, as before I feel some sadness... It happens everytime in the 2-4 days period...
    Did some sport, I hope to feel better soon
     
  9. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed after 5 days... as always the weekend the the worst part for me.
    Saturday was ok... but sunday... got the stupid idea "Let's just check if there are some news things" then without consciusness I was edging... and then, knewing I've lost my streak I relapsed

    Took decision: no more computer in bedroom
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  10. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    10 days... being really busy, feeling good right now
     
  11. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Bad bad relapse.... I was feeling good, and full of energy....

    I've lost all my energy, like an automa.... feeling really bad...

    But I won't give up
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  12. Bubbles

    Bubbles Fapstronaut

    Don't feel bad you don't have a woman to share with, that's too much to worry about. Don't get in that rut, I know because I've been there. It's just you and the world right now and that's ok. Make it work with what you have for now.

    You're in a fight and making progress, you're making major changes, you're going to win.
     
    bloom likes this.
  13. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend

     
  14. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    First week almost gone, feeling good. I wake up early in the morning, and I try to go to bed early... Hope this continues
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  15. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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  16. Bubbles

    Bubbles Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear that, but you made it a long time!

    The fight itself makes you stronger, even if it doesn't feel that way.
     
  17. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed again. This time was not for an impulse or something like that. This time was for boredom, and doing "the old stuff".

    I hope I'm learning from this relapses. There are some rules to follow, and some loops to break.

    For example there're some places where I can not use my smartphone, or it will start a trigger.
     
  18. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Thanks my friend. We'are in a battle for ourselfs. It's good when the days stack up, you have more energy, feel a lot confident.
    And this only after 20 days, I couldn't imagine how it feels after 50 or 90 days, but I want to reach it!
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  19. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed 2 days ago. It's hard now because I don't have a work right now, so I've to much free time to spend...
     
  20. bloom

    bloom Fapstronaut

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    3 days today, starting to feeling good
     

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