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blocks dont work - help on approach

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by jobbyj, May 18, 2018.

  1. blocks are ineffective, there needs to be another way - looking for advice

    i have installed so many blocks (ISP block, k9, cold turkey etc), but then i have learnt about vpn browsers, tor browsers, proxy avoidance tools, and then finding porn in other languages

    clearly there is always a way around

    so i get to 5-7 days, and cant fight the urge if i get a bit frustrated or tired

    thoughts? tips, help please
     
    Awakening123 likes this.
  2. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

    You remind me of the old me...
    When urges come, you may and you will always "find a way out".
    You should learned that nothing (K9 Web Protection, OpenDNS, or even host files) is perfect, so a good mindset is also very important...
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
  3. SuperMaxio64

    SuperMaxio64 New Fapstronaut

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    Make sure vpns, tor browser, etc.. are all uninstalled from all devices. You might not want this, but get Net Nanny. If it's getting that bad, having that extra level might give you the time to stop and hit the NoFap emergency button.
     
    smile1120 likes this.
  4. what does net nanny give that the other stuff doesnt, looks the same as k9, cold turkey etc
     
  5. any other thoughts?
     
  6. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut
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    Your thought process has to change. When you relapse what are the thoughts going threw your mind before you do it? Its hard but have to let the urges pass over you. Theres no perfect blocker. I have open DNS myself it's a good safety net but if I really wanted to I can find a way to view P. A blocker is just one tool in your toolbox.
     
  7. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

    The most important is that you have to be able to "hold your sense" at that moment...
     
    jobbyj likes this.
  8. thanks, how do you do that yourself?
     
  9. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

    I'm not saying I've mastered this, but in my experience, my strategy is that "Every single moment is always a fight between good and evil thoughts, so before this happens, we have to save as many "positive energy" as possible."
     
  10. Bandido

    Bandido Fapstronaut

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    unless you have no testosterone or libido, is impossible to not relapse, this is a reality that many dont want to admit

    realize that having sex with a woman, is relapsing as well, but thats your goal, quit porn and masturbation and save yourself for a woman

    if you're single, this is very difficult, this is why if you are single, trying to quit porn and fap for life is stupid. It won't work. Your goal should be to keep it under control and minimize use as much as possible rather than put yourself down for failing and relapsing

    all that does is destroy your self esteem
     
    jobbyj likes this.
  11. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    If you want to find porn you will, and porn will also find you, through messages, txt's, whattsapp,facebook etc.
    You need to work at this the same as coming off of any drug.
    Sex addiction is a hidden life destroyer it psychologically f**ks us like no other and we often don't take it seriously or notice the consequences until its too late, then we have to sort it or not, its capable of being with us our whole lives and can seriously take over the direction our life takes.
    In order to tackle my addictions I do therapy, I'm a member of various addiction groups where I can be open and honest about my addictions, I've changed my diet,I've brought in healthy exercise to my life.im trying to engage with community volunteering projects, I try and be kind to myself and others. I no longer drink alcohol or take drugs. I spend more time in natural environments and limit internet use and television.
    I've done all these things and still struggle at times, but nowhere near the extent I did. But I have to maintain these changes and continue to make more. I'm not trying to be perfect as I'm far from that, but I'm trying to actually live in reality and deal with stuff that arises healthily.i know I'm an addict and obsessive person, I will always be, but the changes im making allow me to manage things , also myself awareness has grown massively.

    I would say ask yourself truthfully what you think is going to help you.
     
  12. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

    And besides, instead of actually "doing it", reading more nofap article frequently can help me get more experience and maintain a vigilance against crisis...
     
  13. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    I would say its very possible to not relapse where pmo is concerned. There's alot more to look at within ourselves we cant rely on just posting on nofap for answers. We also must take responsibility.
     
    el10 and smile1120 like this.
  14. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Identify the urge or trigger as soon as it arises in your mind. What do you do now? Well, you just have to let it pass without fighting. Fighting will only add more power to it. If you can't control yourself, stay away from internet and out of your home for sometime until the urge passes away.
     
    jobbyj likes this.
  15. Bandido

    Bandido Fapstronaut

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    If it was possible, then this site wouldn't exist, sir. There would be no need for this site since people can quit for life as if it was quitting eating gummy bears. The fact that this site exists, is proof that is very difficult for most people.

    If you are young, with normal testosterone and libido, your body is NOT made to not release sexual tension. If you don't have access to a woman, you have to release one way or another.

    Here is where many fail. They see themselves as failures for not sticking to their perfect plan. All this will do is make you feel like crap and depressed. Once you realize that the real goal should be to not let it control you rather than stopping altogether for life, you will finally be at peace with yourself and there will be NO need for you to be on this forum.

    If anything, being on here, puts that seed in your mind that there is something wrong with you that needs fixing.

    You don't have to quit altogether to see mental and sexual benefits.

    Realize the reason you have this problem is because, you have a high libido with an addictive personality.

    Another problem is that is different from other addictions. The human body was not designed to use certain drugs or smoke tobacco, for example, whereas sex addiction is different. Your body is made to have sex for the continue of the species.

    This is why many can easily quit weed, cigarettes, even other drugs, but not porn and masturbation. You are going against your nature.
     
    outwithold and jobbyj like this.
  16. thank you, and i fully agree. and think that has been part of he problem, i have had good streaks but have not yet changed to other positive behaviours
    appreiate the post
     
  17. i know what you mean, i have a food addiction too which is half managed, and that is similar in that you need to eat
     
  18. el10

    el10 Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry but I don't agree with this. All this sounds like excuses for me, excuses that I also thought many times, but that now I'm trying to avoid. "Impossible" is not the same than "Very Difficult". There is a lot of people that live their lives without P and nothing wrong happens to them, it may be much more difficult to live without M, but also possible.

    On the other hand, the aim of this site is to help people “reboot” their brain, in order to eliminate the addiction and then live a pleasant life. I think that we should reboot, maintain your streak for a long time, 90 days many say, do you think you can abstain for 90 days? If you do, you will probably “eliminate” the addiction and you can live just M occasionally if you are single, without any problem and you will be much more confident to go out and find a partner.

    But the thing I think you should eliminate for sure is P, everybody can live without it, no doubts.
     
    Dagger323, jobbyj and Wario32 like this.
  19. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    You can set your K9 to block also all vpns, proxies. There are other ways how to go around but vpns can be successfully blocked.
     
    jobbyj likes this.
  20. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

    Because nothing is perfect, I think the point should be "not to break through your own technology"...
     

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