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Best books for improving social skills?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by mbb524, Oct 5, 2014.

  1. mbb524

    mbb524 Fapstronaut

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    It seems many who are addicted to porn are also somewhat lacking in social skills as well. I am one of those who tend to be quiet and awkward in social situations. I was wondering if you guys can suggest some books to help me along with other fapstronauts in improving our social skills and live a better, more fulfilling life.

    Thanks! ;)
     
  2. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    You could start with How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

    It's a little old-timey but there are some real gems of wisdom in there, like making the habit of using names to address people, saying "thank you" and keeping a positive tone.

    It's okay to be shy too. You don't have to be the life of the party to be well-liked. Far from it.
     
  3. mbb524

    mbb524 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the suggestion e5s!

    Oh ya, definitely okay with being an introvert. I prefer to think more anyways! I am 25 years old, still young, but I never really want that party lifestyle. Just would like to engage with the world more, there are so much out there to see and experience, interesting people to meet, and my social anxiety and novice social skills is just an obstacle I need to overcome!

    Again, thanks for the suggestion!
     
  4. Man On Fire

    Man On Fire Fapstronaut

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    I don't mean to be flippant but I think the only book you really need is the book of life, i.e. just try stuff that challenges you a bit, baby steps and so forth.

    I've recently started hanging out a bit at the library - there's always people coming and going. I always take something along to photocopy and I always ask for assistance with the photocopier - a tiny interaction, even if it's with someone just doing their job, goes a long way.

    The following suggestion helps if you've had a few alcoholic beverages but is also possible without - say hello/good morning etc. to people you pass in the street. Whilst everyone is surprised, most will respond with a similar greeting.

    Avoid automated, self-service tills when paying for food etc. - most supermarket cashiers will engage you in conversation and it's sometimes possible to include other people in the queue.

    Sit in public parks with a book and say good morning etc. to the inevitable flurry of old timers and dog walkers - tell people they have a nice dog (if you think so that is).

    Human beings are pack animals - company, even if you talk to no-one and no-one talks to you, is better than isolation.
     
  5. mbb524

    mbb524 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you Shell of A Man, real life experience trumps all and is the preferred way to learn these social skills. I just see books as more a guide to jump start that process for someone who has very limited social abilities. For example, small talking is always difficult, but it's pretty important. Keeping a conversation going, body signals, things of that nature. Learn about it, then see it for myself in real life that otherwise I would not have noticed. But I will definitely take your suggestions of and try to apply it in my daily life!
     
  6. BasicallyQué?

    BasicallyQué? Fapstronaut

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    Yea OP, IRL interaction is key. Books are going to give you a psych lesson that you'd learn on your own by just interacting. Step outside your comfort zone. Learn to read facial and body queues. Try beginning conversations with friends or strangers and be considerate and curious and you'll never know what you'll learn! Go forth man!
     

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