Behaviour change after 36 days.

@Larry,

Sorry to hear about the breakup and the flatline and the brain fog and the anxiety. All of that is heavy.

But I need to commend you for not giving in to PMO. Hopefully you have maintained it since the time you posted. When you hang in there and ride through the wave of loneliness, and still stand strong...your brain is reprogramming how to handle stress, especially when under pressure.

There's the silver lining in this cloud. And it's worth it.

GOD'S PEACE!!!

 

Well done. Is there any tips you can share with me? The only thing I'm doing is constantly distracting myself.

 

The thoughts - past images- will still come up daily, but with less frequency. What is important is how to handle them.

My limbic brain has a storehouse of memories. When I am stressed, it will suggest a memory so that my brain gets a shot of dopamine. My limbic brain does not have a conscience but is simply trying to lift stress by offering an image that delivers high amounts of dopamine. Intrusive thoughts of PMO or women from my last will jump in during the day. I know it's my limbic brain at work, trying to give me a boost. It's not really helping and it does not know better. It's not it's fault, because it is not responsible for reasoning out consequences. That is the job of the prefrontal cortex.

Once my prefrontal cortex becomes aware of the limbic brain's activity, (which happens in a split second) I immediately activate it by employing words with great authority. Think about this, a dog runs on its limbic brain. When I speak to a dig with authority by saying "NO!" , the dog stops it's activity. My limbic brain will respond theSAME WAY if I think of it like a pet that does notknow any better. My phrases are "NO, PMO IS NOT AN OPTION" and "NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT". Sometimes it's a string of NO'S . Always spokenunder my breath when no one is around (so I don't appear crazy!) or internally. This has been a key part to moving from decades of relapsing over and over and over again, with the best ofintentions each time. I learned that I had a 2 part brain and started understanding the role of eachand the unique weakness/ limitation of the limbic brain.

Using the authoritative voice of the prefrontal cortex against the limbic brain is amazing. Think about this, every motivational poster or video employs this technique - engaging the prefrontal cortex with a VERBAL phrase that makes the limbic back down like a pet dog. One of my favorite videos is Matsuoka Shuzo, a Japanese speaker who is harvesting Asiatic clams in freezing water. He is speaking intentionally to the camera with great authority saying NEVER GIVE UP. Each time i watch it, I feel my limbic brain kick back down.

I also don't feed the limbic brain bad stuff. If I give a dog a bar of chocolate, it will definitely rev them up so that I'm dealing with a hyper dog. Chocolate can actually be lethal to a dog. By way of analogy, advertizers are trying to feed my limbic brain, my dog, chocolate. If I am passively watching tv or searching online, I am opening myself to advertisers that are bypassing my prefrontal cortex and shooting straight for my limbic brain. They are trying to feed my dog with subtle and not so subtle images of women that are strategically set up to trigger the limbic brain.

So I treat tv and internet as a potentially dangerous thing. Advertisers, in an effort to stimulate pleasure in association with theirproduct, want the dog to get revved up so that you abandon the effort of the prefrontal cortex and let the dog loose. It's then that we think that "I couldn't help myself". Wrong. We let the dogs get fed and then let them run loose. Who let thedogs out? We did.

Learning the location of the prefrontal cortex and the limbic brain is vitally important.

Also - I used to relapse after I got revved up because I thought that the only way to relieve "blue balls" was orgasm. This is wrong. Built up semen will pass with urination. I have ridden out a number of times where I would have given in in the past.

You can have victory over this but you have to outwit the pattern.

GOD'S PEACE!!!

 

That's great clarity and concepts you have

 

Your welcome. It truly works. Practice, practice, practice.

GOD'S PEACE!!!

 

In terms of blue balls, I noticed they only come if I get any level of arousal. If I keep arousal to a minimum they don't happen at all.

 

@LifeWorthLiving!!! - thanks for sharing. Where did you learn about this? Your brain on porn?

 

Different sources. Reclaimsexualhealth.com has been my greatest resource. There's a section called "The stage of the brain " that changed a lot for me. It's a video that broke down the brain dynamics in a new way.

GOD'S PEACE!!!