Becoming Alpha

I'm tired of being 'beta'.

I walk around the store, browsing for various things I need or I don't. I see a cute girl down the aisle. *okay...THIS time, if she looks up at you, maintain eye contact and give her a smile* She glances over. Nope, wasn't looking at you, just looking at this item I might buy. *Dammit, you're weak. You..are..weak. Why didn't you maintain eye contact! Okay, if I see another one, I'll do it* Another aisle, another cute girl. *EYE CONTACT MADE! Nice job! Shit, you're still staring - and you didn't smile. So you just stared vacantly for several seconds. Way to go* Check out line, product in hand. She's cute. *Come up with something witty..you're a really witty guy. Okay...aaaand* "Hi, how are you doing?" "Good, you?" "Good, did you find everything alright?" "..yep." "16.47...........have a good day!" "...you too." *Dammit. It would have been great if I'd said something like, 'no, I was looking for thigh length neon green tube socks, do you not carry those?'*

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Beta male.

I'm doing a complete overhaul of my life and my decisions. I am tired of the self-perpetuating cycle. Fapping, junk food, and lack of exercise kill my desire to go out and be social. For short periods of time, I have quit fapping & junk food and exercised and every time within a matter of days my confidence skyrockets, I have much more energy, I lower my massive caffeine intake to combat fatigue, I am more social, and I feel better about my appearance. And people notice. But these things have always been temporary, and after a week or so I find myself resorting back to beta status. I'm not fat, I've been told I'm pretty attractive, when I feel like it I can be the life of the party...so why do I always feel so beta?

Well, I think it is the beta mentality, and the self-perpetuating cycle of dopamine releasing activities that I allow myself. That, combined with my not too noticeable yet confidence destroying case of gynecomastia (male breast tissue...trust me, there has been no bigger killer of my confidence than walking around constantly feeling like I have something to hide. Does anyone else have this? I'd be happy to talk about the effects of it.) No more. It is time to be alpha. It is time for super powers. It is time for NoFap.

 

Thanks for the encouragement, and good luck to you too!