becoming a live-in slave

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by graham55, May 22, 2018.

  1. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    Hey guys,
    Read the stuff in my journal about domination, sissy porn, goddesses and findom.
    Understanding = helping.
     
  2. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    545
    953
    93
    The real thing is just another level of addiction... don’t be fooled by semantics.

    This website is incredible! One thing it doesn’t do well is compare porn addiction to sex addiction. Remember our brains don’t have a different pleasure pathway for real life fantasy and porn fantasy. Porn is activating our sexual urge area of our brain.

    So watching femdom porn (which i was obsessed with) and master/slave relationships, will definitely without a doubt bleed over into your real world fantasies.

    Let me give you my example:

    I watched and became obsessed with femdom and degradation. I searched for women online to be my internet mistress, but the reality is there’s not many women who are into this type of relationship without getting paid.

    In the end I could only find guys who wanted to be masters. So I said f*ck it and started playing with guys. Thisnlead me to do very regrettable acts. But internet play wasn’t enough.

    I started fantasizing about being a real life slave, I wanted to be a livin slave too. Usually after I would orgasm 2-3 times in a row this urge would go away for a few days (indication that it was sexual addiction and not who I truly was).

    This master/slave stuff got me real comfortable with virtual sex will men, more porn and now gay porn, started to arouse me and I started seeking out real life partners. I started looking again for women to hook up with but once again found it near impossible to find a girl willing to hook up with no strings attached.

    I started to then advertise myself to men. Because if my submissive obsession I was very attractive to men. And this lead to me hooking up 4 different times with men....

    Now, does this make me gay? Is this not s porn issue because it was in real life? No is the answer to both of those. Our action in real life come from our sex addiction and for people on here, our sex addiction stems from porn use.

    I would say for you, give yourself 90 days away from all PMO and then reevaluate your desires.

    Hope this helps and be safe! Sex addiction is horrible!
     
  3. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

    91
    84
    18
    Ive just hit a new low, after relapsing a few days 3 times that day, today i had another session with a cam mistress, and she blackmailed me, i asked for it. She showed me a picture/video of me jerking off which she recorded on her phone and said she would post it around if i didn;t follow her instructions. I was horrified after i came and told her to delete it immediately she said she did but i'll never know if she did or not. Fuck
     
    Immature likes this.
  4. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    545
    953
    93
    Sorry to hear that dude. Hopefully this can be your bottom and you won’t have to go back to this lifestyle.

    What efforts have you made on a daily basis to combat the porn addiction?

    Here’s a link to what I have to do daily in order to combat this:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-current-plan-for-recovery.170857/

    I didn’t make these things up, these are things others have done to stay sober and I have found it is working for me. I hope you commit to doing them daily, because it sounds like you are just like me and sex addiction is ruining your life.
     
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  5. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

    648
    778
    93
    200 years ago who would have thought that people would be volunteering for "slavery".


    Prospect Slave "Yes sir masuh I is looking for a slave position if der anything available."

    Slave Owner "- Well, we got something in the cornfields opening up. There is no pay, you get whipped and beaten with a cane, the food is shit, you will likely be raped, but on the upside, it will probably take 20 years off your lifespan."

    - " Dat exactly what I looking for "

    I would say that is a mental illness and if you have any inclinations whatsoever in that direction avoid everything to do with it like the plague.
     
  6. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    545
    953
    93
    Please try to disregard this post.

    I have had this fantasy and many times participated in master/slave relationships over the Internet. It’s not uncommon in the BDSM world, and there’s plenty of porn out there that can and will help lead someone down that path.

    It may be possible that you have some type of mental illness but I would bet that it has a lot to do with your porn watching and developed fetishes due to longterm porn use.

    I try to be very careful to judge anyone else’s PMO addiction because we’re all different and this addiction manifests in many different ways. The second we judge someone’s problem is the second this supportive community falls apart.
     
  7. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    @xXPharaohXx - the OP needs to read and understand that post. its one thing to piss away one's life a day at a time. It's a whole other thing to fuck it all up all at once. I believe that the @Themadfapper post was calculated to make an impression. I hope it does.
     
  8. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    You are wrong. The minor things you report being impressed by in your youth do not compare to the kind of situation that you are now contemplating. When We Are Young almost any video of any interaction with a beautiful woman will seem somewhat exciting. And you were very young when this stuff happened. But mostly all you had was an attraction to feet. This business of being a live-in slave is because of the porn. Stop the porn. There is a thread the title of which is "severe femdom in real life". I hesitate to tell you about this, because I'm afraid you'll find it erotic but listen to what the guy is saying, his life is terrible. He is not even permitted sexual gratification!
     
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  9. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    All Porn induced fetishes reset to vanilla with a long enough abstinence period. Even a 30 days abstinence period will do wonders for you. You owe it to yourself to at least try this before you throw your life away.
    Your post was painful to read, and the guys who are being harsh in their comments do care about you, they just want to wake you up, because you seem so detached from reality.
    You said you were raised a Muslim, i don't know if you still are, i don't think you fasted this Ramadan, because it should have helped you. FASTING DOES HELP REDUCE URGES, you don't have to be religious for it to work.
    It saddens me deeply to see you like this, it's one thing to hit a low in life, but it's worse when you don't even realize it.

    And one more thing, Keep you Mom out of this, FOR GOD's SAKE KEEP HER OUT OF THIS!!!
     
    Manchild likes this.
  10. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

    91
    84
    18
    following up on this she's blocked me and any request to ask her if she still has the video is ignored/results in me getting blocked again.

    Last night was probably one of the worst nights of my life. After that event I wanted to off myself through auto-erotic asphyxiation/breathplay masterbation. I'd done it before this time I just wanted to end it.

    Luckily I finished masterbation before holding my breath so I could breath again.

    I then had to go work and wanted to cancel my shift and do anything but the consequences would be too severe.

    Driving to work I felt extremely suicidal I wanted to drive my car into another car but I thought how that wouldn't help me at all just resulting in a damaged car which would cost money to repair.

    I dont think id actually o through with suicide but it's on my mind now, i dont see a point in living.

    later today i will spent some time alone on a beach and try and figure my life out.

    thanks for the support
     
  11. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    Don't you f*cking do it, we're here to help you figure this stuff out.
    If she blocked you, it means she doesn't want to go through with it. She changed her mind.
    Life is giving you another chance!!!
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2018
    NamaClature14 and Manchild like this.
  12. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    Who was gonna find you in your room, a family member most likely, Don't you care about them?
     
    Dizzy Lotus and Immature like this.
  13. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

    91
    84
    18
    Thank you for your encouraging posts. On Sunday i was at an all time new low, somewhere out there is a girl who has a video of me masterbating, it's something ill have to live with. But I'm not ashamed its what makes me who i am.

    The following day i took some time off went to a park alone. No distractions and spent as long as i needed to come to terms with my life. Eventually i drew a line in the sand and said fuck this. I'm done. So that's where i stand on ut now.

    I've started seeing a therapist although slightly pricey I find it to be a tremendous help.

    I have some action plans that i will try to implement given by her and will update in a few weeks or months. For now i need to heal the trauma I experienced in my life that led to my desire to femdom.

    best of luck to you all and keep fighting. Mr.Roady used to post alot "the truth will set you free" and in my case its true.
    much love
     
    Dizzy Lotus, Hitto, Immature and 2 others like this.
  14. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    This is good news, happy to hear you're finally taking steps to fix your life. You're on the correct path.
     
    Immature likes this.
  15. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    You are on your way to that not being who you are. That's a really good thing.

    Congratulations! I am so glad you're leaving this impending hell behind you.
     
    Dizzy Lotus and Arms.R.heavy like this.
  16. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

    91
    84
    18
    Went 10 days then Cam o'd with the same mistress on cam. I unblocked her from skype and re-added her. This all stemed from checking old inbox>searching online for bdsm mistresses in the area> watching porn> contacting her This time she asked me to get a pair of panties from my mom and jerk off into them. Feel disgusted and disappointed. Don't know why i did it but i know that it was wrong and not in the right direction.

    10 days before i had that 1 session with the blackmail so x2 sessions in 20 days which i think is progress but in the sessions the humiliation and tasks are getting worse, only because i ask for it.
     
  17. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

    294
    594
    93
    Let me guess...you were horny? What do you expect now, an absolution after confession?
    Your choices, your life course, your responsibility.
    I start to repeat myself.
     
    NamaClature14, Roady and Arms.R.heavy like this.
  18. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    I think you should seriously think of moving out to stop dragging your mother's name into this.
    You are in a bad place, what you're doing is wrong and damaging.
    Think of rehab or therapy or both.
     
  19. MateusA

    MateusA Banned

    3
    1
    3
    Therapy is a good option, you really should think about that.
     
  20. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

    91
    84
    18
    I have been seeing a therapist recently, it has been good, she suggested to use the word lapse not relapse, and to not beat yourself up for when it does happen. And do rather than going without it ever switching to once a week then another time during that week masterbating without porn. But everytime i use it now it's getting worse, and i'm starting to think about suicide alot more, i haven't told her this
     

Share This Page