Become the best version of myself

Today, this is how my day went!

To do list
Meditation- done
Office- worked on a case and read some judgements. Though I could have been more efficient but still the day in office went fine.
Gym - Not done. Couldn't do as went with my family to spent some quality time.

Enjoyed my day!

Trying to work on consistency in maintaining a schedule and try to continue with good habits .

Goal for this week
To keep continuing the good work and trying to be more efficient and productive.

Cheers!

 

So, let me recount my day. I woke up at 8 am. Then, for 2 hours I did meditation and got ready for office. After reaching office I worked on my case. Later in the day I wasted quite a bit of time in office due to the environment being such where people indulge in gossipmongering rather than working diligently.
Also, I am myself confused right now of what I need to do. Coming back from office I went with my friend to a eating outery and enjoyed myself.

Today again I didn't do gym.

 

I had a really enjoyable day. I woke up at 9 am. Then I did meditation and got ready for office. In office I completed one file and discussed some legal points.
I came back and tried to study but couldn't due to losing the habit of continuous study. The unintentional ultimate procrastination week I had in between really puts my progress towards my goal at a backfoot. Then, I have to restart my journey from backward position.
But right now mentally I am in good space.

Hoping my progress towards my goal continues.

 

Today , it was Sunday. I started my day with yoga but didn't finish it as I was feeling very sleepy. So, I slept for 2 hours till 1pm. Actually, I had woken up at around 4 am. First, I tried to study but then I passed my times jjust thinking about my plans for next. I have an exam next weekend for which I haven't studied at all. Initially I didn't plan to go but at the last moment I decided against missing out on the opportunity. Then again last time also I had gone without preparation. But no worries at least I would come to know whether I am able to write properly or not.
I have writer's cramp so that is also a big issue. But lets forget for one bit what may happen this week and concentrate on today.

Todo list
Gym - Done
Meditation- Partly done
Study- tried to but couldn't as I am not able to build the momentum.

I am really getting a little bit stressed for next week. On one hand I haven't studied but still I am going. And on the other hand I could studied for the next exam which I might not be able to now. And also I have started practicing as well so that is also another problem.

Hoping everything is sorted out by me well this week!
Cheers!

 

Today, I had a really productive day. Although, I got up late having slept till 10 am. I had planned to get up at 8 am instead. But then despite the regret I picked myself up and did meditation. Then in office I did my work and also studied. After coming back from office I studied in the library till 3 am (4 hours effectively).

To do list
Gym - Not done. Didn't get time and also put on hold till next week.
Meditation- Done and that too for one hour.
No pmo- Done
I am not concentrating on Mo part of PMO goal that much. My main purpose to ne onthis forum is to Improve my lifestyle and try to become better version of myself. I am masturbating once in two days.

 

Had a okay day today. Completed my meditation in the morning. Then in office I studied for some time but not that effectively as I wanted.

In evening I came back from office and studied in the library. I feel fatigued most of the day even though I am sleep for 6-7 hours, follow a healthy and nutritious diet and try to exercise as well.
I want my day to be more productive than it is right now. Also, I need to be more energetic and active. This can be done by tackling my long-standing problem of severe procrastination. But still I am not able to get over it completely . If I get stuck in a situation where I have procrastinated some work then I make it tough for myself and start procrastinating more and eventually get addicted to net. But this situation has not come up for last

 

Came back after having spent 4 days in Jabalpur. My exams went better than my expectations given the fact that I had not studied. But still I lack very much in essay writing and answer writing. Also, I have still not learnt the important provisions of the bare acts by heart even though I had realized it long back.
Now, I have geared up again to work very hard and study diligently for the coming exams.

Today, I studied for around 6 hours efficiently. I had a satisfactorily productive day.
I need to buck up and kick myself on the back. It is going to need consistency , dedication and perseverance. I have to get going and work towards devilling discipline and regularity in my schedule. Hope I do not falter this time and avoid the mistakes that I had committed many times previously.

Cheers!

 

I need to get tougher mentally. Loneliness is my biggest trigger. I need to remain happy. Find happiness in things that matter. I cannot be stuck on the fact that I don't have a girlfriend and will never have one. I am a virgin at 27. This facts haunts me whole day.
But I need to get this shit out of my mind and study on my exams and improving myself.

 

My biggest trigger is not having a gf and being a virgin. Whole day i fantasize about girls. This also impedes my performance during the day at work and studies. IAM not able to focus due to this reason.

 

Only because I plan my day to start with meditation and gym and then if I procrastinate and don't do this things then the whole day I just like on my bed doing nothing and start watching movies and TV shows.

After I go to gym , suddenly I realize my Dolly and feel the burst of energy as if I would achieve everything on my to do list. But this has happened umpteenth times and now it is frustrating.

 

Last three years I have doing same thing repeatedly. I will waste my time for one day..then keep wasting it for week then eventually get more depressed and hopeless from myself.

Then because of my bad habits I lose my confidence in myself. Whether I can achieve anything ever. I start to feel as a failure.

I work hard but only for one week then I get depressed because I don't have a girlfriend and friends. That is where the depressing cycle triggers for me.

In this cycle I won't do anythingn I would like oon bed and binge watch TV shows, YouTube, and porn. Anything that I can use to escape from self imposed stress.

 

I want someone who can discipline me and mould me into inculcating good habits like a coach.
Sometimes I feel a girlfriend would have helped ward off loneliness which is my biggest trigger for depression. But not having is something I have to accept and move on. But that is the biggest challenge. As wherever I go I feel so upset about my life seeing everyone enjoying with their lives ones. Even watching TV shows and movies just adds on to that viewpoint of mine.

 

I am 27 years old. I am preparing for judicial services. Earlier I was preparing for civil services. These are really tough exams which require constant hardwork and dedication. More than anything consistent study for 8-10 hours everyday for 1-2 years is required.
But mentally I am not in the right space to study consistently for such long periods as after one or two weeks I get depressed. The main trigger is not having a girlfriend.
Then I get into a binge cycle of tv shows, movies , YouTube to escape from this. Or sometimes I procrastinate and then I get into this binge cycle and self destructive lifestyle.

 

I

Have tried pomodoro techniques many times but it didn't turn out to be beneficial for me. I get too stressed during that 25 minutes time with my focus on time getting completed rather than focussing on the study material. But long hours studying is not that big a problem for me as I have been doing that for last 2 years. I go to a library where I am able to study for 8-10 hours. It's just that I get stressed and depressed after one or two weeks and then get into that binge cycle.
I have resumed studying again and trying to follow the schedule. Hope to continue doing the good stuff for longer time period this time.