Bad voice in my head

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by RobinCoenBrosFan, Jul 26, 2019.

  1. RobinCoenBrosFan

    RobinCoenBrosFan Fapstronaut

    No, it’s not what you think. I’m not some schizo who’s “hearing voices” and seeing people that aren’t there like Joan of Arc or John Nash or some shit, I just have an inner monologue/inner voice that plays in my brain when I do things. And he is a complete asshole most of the time. This inner voice keeps calling me stupid, a failure, good for nothing, you have no talent, you suck at what you do and making friends and girlfriends, you will never succeed, you will never find your niche, you’re a piece of shit.

    Sometimes I research articles that give advice on how to control these things and habits to get into and whatnot, but what frustrates me is that it almost always is written for WOMEN, and by a WOMAN (the articles end up saying things like “don’t feel bad because your boyfriend broke up with you,” and other chick-flick Eat Pray Love bullshit). At the risk of being mistaken for a sexist pig, there is of course nothing wrong with self-help articles written by women, for women (in fact they’re quite necessary), and I’ve followed quite a few, but in terms of the content and the way they’re written, it seems as if most of them are directed at that gender as a target audience. Feel free to disagree, but that’s the impression I’m getting.

    But I am a MAN (at least I think I am).


    Likely because men generally don’t think like this (have the voice that criticizes them 24/7 in their head), but I do. It’s assuming they’re always confident, always logical, always sure of themselves and making themselves useful, or going out and being “badasses.”

    I’m surprised I haven’t been fired from being a “man” yet, because of how neurotic I am and can tend to feel. I’m kidding, of course, but you know what I mean.

    Is my view on this situation totally warped? Am I just going to be an unsure, neurotic SOB for life, as much as I try not to be? Certain new-age folks may oppose the point of view that mean use more the logical part of their brains, while women the emotional part. It’s certainly not true for all of them, and there’s nothing WRONG with that, but for the majority, this seems to be the way it is. Maybe the way my father raised me is clouding my judgment. Can I control these negative inner messages better and be more masculine this way?
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
  2. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Bro I'm not sure what you are talking about with the masculine/feminine voice, but I know the voice is probably a part of depression. Start meditating and lifting heavy weights, that should get rid of the voice and some of the depression.
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    I have 8 voices in my head, well 7 because that one do not talks.
    The Mask! likes this.
  4. Rando115

    Rando115 Fapstronaut

    Read the Power of Now Eckhart Tolle. I promise!
  5. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

    Recommend CBT:

    What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
    Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that treats problems and boosts happiness by modifying dysfunctional emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. Unlike traditional Freudian psychoanalysis, which probes childhood wounds to get at the root causes of conflict, CBT focuses on solutions, encouraging patients to challenge distorted cognitions and change destructive patterns of behavior.​

    and this book:

    "Visual CBT: Using pictures to help you apply Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to change your life"​


    Hope that helps.
    Rando115 likes this.
  6. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    As Christian convert I remember this inner monologue as well. But once I made my way to church for the first time, it got unexpectedly angry on me (way beyond the usual) and even managed to trick me into a detour. Once I finally made my way past the doors, it became silent instantly.

    It came out again, once I left and got home, was throwing a fit for hours. But I returned again a few days later and for a third time a week later and since then I got rid of it.

    Not at all. But guess how surprised I was once I found out who it was talking me down for 30+ years...
    Sinbad and Roady like this.
  7. Low testosterone can cause anxiety and depression in men. The likely culprit: PMO. Stop pmoing and do other things that will raise test. Lifting weights helps with test, dopamine (which helps depression and anxiety), and also will gradually increase confidence (which will help you worry less.)

    I've gone through this too and when I get on a longer streak I actually start feeling like a man and I've heard other men say this as well. I think it's very likely that PMO is causing this.
    wwtl likes this.
  8. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Negative thinking is an attempt to maintain control in a reality where we don't have much under our control.

    If you choose to believe or predict that you aren't worthy of something or that things won't go your way, you'll lower your expectations (and soften the blow by protecting you from possible pain, problems, and negative experiences). It's much easier than believing and taking a chance on yourself to go for something you want in life that has no guarantees.

    Your thought patterns is an identity you've reinforced. Which manifest themselves in your behavior and loops back by strengthening your thought patterns. It's just an identity you've built.

    Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or hypotheses. If you think about yourself in a certain way, you'll find a way to remain consistent with it in order to confirm your bias. You'll self sabotage opportunities in order to remain consistent with your chosen identity.

    Have you considered the fact that you could be wrong in the way that you think about yourself? Have you ever tried to challenge those negative assumptions? And yes, these are your thoughts, that voice is you and not some separate entity.

    - Talk to yourself in a more positive and constructive way to change your identity / thought patterns / confirmation bias.
    - Let go of the need to protect yourself from possible negative experiences via lowering your expectations with negative thinking.
    wwtl and koolpal like this.
  9. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    The voice you are talking about is the voice of rejection and failure.
    Or you are rejected in your life. Or you are bearing the fear for rejection within you. But for sure, there must be a gate in your life where this voice could enter in.

    As a Christian, I've struggled with this kind of voices in my head. When I became a Christian, the love of God came into my head and that love has silenced EVERY negative voice. Sometimes I received a deliverance in prayer, but it was also a process to learn to think different about myself.
    wwtl likes this.

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