Back for first time since late 2016

Discussion in 'Reset and Relapse Reports' started by Must..Resist..Fappening, Jan 24, 2019.

  1. Must..Resist..Fappening

    Must..Resist..Fappening Fapstronaut

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    Well, I first came here in the fall of 2016, had a couple good weeks and then basically relapsed for more than a year with only a month long break the whole time. For a while now it feels like my life and my brain have been rapidly deteriorating. I am less able to focus on my life and bettering myself than I have ever been,yo the point where I have even injured myself at work with stupid mistakes twice and seriously strained my relationship with my sibling(family business). I'm not blaming all of this just on PMO, I have a lot of other issues as well, but more and more of my time is spent on PMO as its one of the few
    things along with weed and junk food that help me to feel better (fleetingly). I'm back here because I feel like I need a win really badly.
     
  2. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    Well, you've set a difficult challenge for yourself; few of us would say this is an easy win. You had "a couple good weeks" a few years ago, do you remember what you did that worked back then? And do you have a plan for how you're going to manage the addiction now?
     
  3. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    Friend, you'd be surprised how much PMO infects and destroy. This comming from a 24yo that started to M around 4-5yo, the rest a few years later. Things spiraled down, my brain became so foggy I essentially became an idiot (I learned to read by myself, at 4yo I read my 1st book), a few years ago I struggled adding 26+87. But I started fighting, and I failed a lot. But PMO 15 times a day became 10. Then 5. Then 10 ot 15 again. Then every other day. I'm still fighting and failing. But there is hope, and all you truly need is to do your honest best. Do all you can. Little by little, with patience and time, things improve. This isn't just about PMO, but every dark habit we have, be it addiction, anger, fear. Humans are beings of such amazing feats and power, we can all be awesome
     
    OnNai likes this.
  4. Must..Resist..Fappening

    Must..Resist..Fappening Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to you both for your replies. Fell off almost immediately after restarting and back on the wagon since Feb.06.
    Bike wrench: The few good stretches I've had (best being a month), I've been exercising, trying to use my spare time on constructive/educational things and family. It always feels great when I get a bit of momentum but then out of no where when I think I'm making progress I just collapse. I can't say I really have a plan, probably should though.
    Bob Ross: I know what you mean, I used to be an avid reader but now I often give up after a couple chapters, and turn on netflix. And what you said about other habits as well. Mine is just never once expecting or even really wanting my life to get anywhere,just as long as I have weed, porn and junk food,I can distract myself from every negative feeling I get.
     
  5. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    I agree that you should. What you've been doing is getting you what you have now:
    Is that what you want?
     
  6. Must..Resist..Fappening

    Must..Resist..Fappening Fapstronaut

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    I think any plan I make is gong to have to account for the fact that I have been like this for as long as I can remember,long before PMO or weed,needing to distract myself from the negative thoughts. And also just having no vision for the future. I've talked to my doctor about it, but she just gave me Zoloft,said I probably have low serotonin. I don't want to take medication just because it seems best case I'm stuck on them just to feel "normal", worst case they drive me nuts. I think I'm going to ask her to refer me to a neurologist or psychologist who can maybe help in a different way.
     
  7. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    That's probably true. But it can be dangerous to overthink it. Doing something to start - almost anything - is better than trying to come up with the perfect plan. No plan is perfect; we adjust our plans as we go along and as we need to.
     
  8. Must..Resist..Fappening

    Must..Resist..Fappening Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply,i know there's only so much I can take on but I'm feeling lately like the walls are closing in so to speak and I need something to change quickly. Today is day 15, and I'm feeling pretty good PMO wise,my thoughts are a bit more settled now,but judging from my longest streak of 30 days,im gonna get pretty squirelly soon. My workouts have been great,much more intense since I started a new routine. However I haven't even tried to cut back on weed,and my performance at work hasn't changed much. My bad habit of not going to sleep until after midnight at earliest is sabotaging my efforts to start my days off right. Feels like I've accumulated a mountain of bad habits to chip away at.
     
  9. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    If it's a mountain, it's a mountain. Start with any one thing, and keep on that. Don't worry about everything, just start with one that you can keep consistent working on.
     

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