Asked a co-worker for undie pics

Nice, i'm in NA. Nice to meet you to1

 

Hang in there man. Like you said before, you're an honest man who accepts the consequences. Well, this is the consequence. Maybe this serves as a wake up call for you to set proper boundaries with women at work, and put a stop to the behavior you described at the beginning of the thread. Now pull yourself up keep your head up!

 

In the future, you should probably refrain from making confessions to your boss, and just try to keep things between you and your co-workers, smoothing any problems over with them. Bosses don't have many options besides paperwork, especially for possible sexual harassment claims - that's a potential liability on their part!

 

As controversial as it may be, I believe you did the right thing by honestly confessing your actions. Bare in mind, I'm using the term confess in a very non-dogmatic way. What you did was hard — yes. What you did was risky — it was. But right now, something great is happening inside you — whether you can feel it or not. By doing what you did, you, the man, not the monkey, looked your issue, your addiction, right in the eyes and said "I'm not letting you win this one." Your addiction wants you to hide it. It wants you to keep it a secret. How can it not? By shining light on it, you effectively take away its greatest power which is the power of denial — the idea that it doesn't even exist.

 

That's great to hear. In regards to your question: it seems like the first company is operating according to standard procedure by letting you go in the manner they did. I'm sure they also have a procedure in place for communicating these types of layoffs to other companies should they ever come up during a reference call.

First let me admit, this is a first for me, so I would be interested in hearing what the rest of the community has to say as well. If it were me, I would simply ask your boss or HR representative: "Would it be a wise idea if I used your business as a reference when looking for a new job?" Assuming that this is your one and only issue with company #1, and assuming you have a decent rapport with the boss, I would hopefully guess and say that they would not crucify you during a reference call over this one isolated issue. This is just one opinion by the way. Again, I would like to hear what others have to suggest.

WillyRonka, your intuition has also been working well as you lead with complete honesty. What do you think is the best thing to do in this situation? What advice would you offer to another young man in your position?

 

I have no doubt based on your response and your actions that you were/are an outstanding employee. I think you will be fine. This issue does not define you. It does not strip you of all your hard work and determination. Don't let the stigma of addiction dehumanize all your great efforts. You are learning from your mistakes and that automatically puts you in the top bracket of recovery. Keep it up. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.

 

Good luck with the interview. Sounds like you have the right attitude, you owned up to your mistake, accepted the consequences, and are ready to move on. And still keeping your no-PMO streak going! Keep on it!

 

You did well. Wishing you all the best, friend.

 

You have a (new) job to go to and a clean conscience and you're still going strong with NoFap. And there will be lots of other job openings. From my perspective, I think you hit a big bump in the road but your future is looking good!

Thank you for sharing your experience in it's entirety and with such honesty. It may very well serve as a warning to other addicts who might be entertaining other inappropriate ideas with their female coworkers.

I say that because last night I had very erotic fantasies about one of my coworkers. I don't even like her and she's mean to me . . . but I'm pretty sure that she's attracted to me and last night I fantasised about manipulating her into being mean to me, but in a sexual way. Me and my sick mind, always trying to twist things into getting a hit.

Anyway, I woke up this morning and just happened to stumble across your post and it served as a big red flag!!

I need to keep my sex addiction (and my weird ideas) out of the workplace at all costs.

Thank you again and I wish you all the best in putting this behind you.

 

I don’t know if it’s because I’m from A very small town or what, but I’m missing the reason you could have been fired? You weren’t at work correct? She was texting you and telling you she was drunk and you asked for undie pics and that gets you fired, when you’re not even at work? That just seems crazy to me. If you would have hit on her at work or something I could see that. Maybe I’m just crazy and I’m missing something. Anyways, congrats on the new job and congrats on your streak!