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Arousal and erection issue

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by John1991, Nov 2, 2017.

  1. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone Im newly registered on here but have followed threads in the past few months. Im 26, newly married and been with my wife for 2 1/2 years. I probably have been watching porn and masturbating for 12 years up until August of this year. Reason being Ive gotten nervous in the past with my wife. Also embarrassingly to both of us, there are times where I couldn't get an erection when she wants it and im trying and it just wouldn't happen. That sucks. Then it becomes a psychological issue after that. Also, sometimes when i have been hard it will go soft after a few minutes and mot get hard again at all. Me staying hard to orgasm from sex has been an on and off issue since i started having sex around 16. Me getting hard and sustaining it has been an issue for over 2 years. That being said, I gave up pmo back in August and have not looked back. I wake up really hard through almost every night. But my erections at night are a lot more hard than during sex. I have sex 1-3 times a week and have orgasmed every time since September. BUT the problem still is getting hard during sex. Sometimes it takes a lot of work or foreplay but hardly ever am i ready to turn over and just go at it. I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to get erect any time needed and have night time firm erections whenever its time for sex. Sometimes it feels dead down there when in my head I really want to do it? Like I said, no PMO since August and regular sex with my wife which cannot stop. Any help or advice please help me out. Thank you.
     
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  2. Sideshow606

    Sideshow606 Fapstronaut

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    Bro that sounds alot like a flatline
    When its.dead down there
    A suggest a time of total abstinent
    Go 15 days NO PMO
     
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  3. It's great your PMO-free since August. As sideshow points out it could very well be a flatline. Youve been jerking to porn for 12 years. A simple 90-day Reboot may not be enough. I too second a period of abstinence. Try 15 days. If nothing seems to happen, go for an additional 30. No sex of any kind.

    Take this time and rather than focus on sex, focus on intimacy with your wife: holding her, cuddling, talking, telling her how much you love her, kissing, but NO SEX.

    Part of your issue may be that you've objectified sex so much for the past 12 years you are having difficulty being intimate with your sexual partner.
     
  4. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    Update: So it's been at least two weeks since the last time i orgasm from sex. Last week I had sex and went soft after like a minute. The rest of last week..I was a little down..no urges, still could'nt get an erection when needed..a chub yes, also kept coming home from work really tired and in Ohio that time change has been kicking our butts at like 7p.m. feels like 10. Had no interest to try and fail with my wife. We want to have a kid so this time period makes it a little more stressful. I started taking 3g Maca root 4 days ago, and worked out the past two days. Eating fish eggs bananas peanut butter and drinking one cup of coffee in the morning and the rest water now. I used to intake tons of sugar pop and pasta. I also tried meditating the past two days. The past 2 nights I have rubbed my wife to sleep and have been enjoying it. It feels relaxing and sexual to me but she has been doing 12 hour shifts so it didn't go further but i could have last night. Was I flatlining? Im over 80 days and never have urges to masturbate or even get hard when Im alone..trying to see if my testosterone needs elevated by working out. Im assuming they are ok of im hard every night i wake up? im ready to unleash sexually not jack off ever again...
     
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  5. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    I was kind of hoping she would get her period like today or really soon I think it's due but it would buy me some time to be more sensual without intercourse since im already 16 days without ejaculating.
     
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  6. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    Ive been Exercising and taking maca for almost a week now..still I get no daytime erections and I still havent had sex in almost 3 weeks. I eat healthier too. Would l-thyrosine help me out?
     
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  7. You could be flatlining. If you've been steady in not PMOing, and are not really having any interest in sex, certainly sounds like flatlining. Keep exercising and eating healthy.

    You have to also stop putting pressure on yourself or you'll get performance anxiety. Make sure you don't rush it. Encourage her to touch but not jerk or Kung fu grip! And no matter how bad you want that erection, you have to stop coaxing it with your hand.
     
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  8. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice..it just sucks waking up rock hard this entire process but never being ready during the day. Its been almost 90 days you'd think I could get an erection when needed. And its been 3 weeks since sex. Only time I did ok was the week i was on vacation about 3 times in 5 days orgasm every time at the end of september.
     
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  9. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    Maybe this can help:
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/whats-the-connection-between-orgasm-and-testosterone-levels

    Anyway, have you thought to speaking to your wife about this issue? A full abstinence for a period, maybe 30 days, can be more manageable together.
    And this:
    Made me think that maybe you are just too stressed.
     
  10. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    I am probably closing in on 28 days now. At this point I'm definitely thinking about it all the time. I was also curious about my testosterone levels but have to wait until January for insursnce to start. I have been eating better, exercising, taking maca and tongkat ali, and started tyrosine to maybe help with dopamine. I should be a bull by now but im not. Never feel like one eithsr.
     
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  11. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    It has been almost 30 days which is probably the longest I have ever gone without an O since I started masturbating. Mix that with no porn since August or beating off, more exercise, healthier eating and weight, taking longjack and maca. Now Im trying tyrosine to give my dopamine receptors a boost. I think I should be a bull by now but still never horny or any urges.
     
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  12. John1991

    John1991 Fapstronaut

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    It has been almost 30 days since I had an O which is my longest period ever..top that with no porn or masturbating since August..but still no urges or horniness. I wake up with hard ons all throughout the night thats about it. Im also more healthier, working out and exercising 3x a week, taking maca and longjack, and tyrosine now to maybe give my dopamine receptors a boost. This is crazy I need a signal..i should be a bull by now but far from it.
     
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  13. A new day

    A new day Fapstronaut

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    I understand that the earlier in life you start PMO and especially if that’s your only sexual experience for a long time, the longer it takes for brain to rewire to sex in person. It sounds like things a moving in the right direction. Perhaps a bit more patience?
     
  14. I watched this video, extremely interesting information on the cure for porn addiction.



    I am not one to believe everything I read without proof, but the information in the video checks out to me.

    You are young, and your brain is at its peak. Add that to 12 years of consistent usage and you can see the neural pathway that you have to conquer.

    The video recommends 5 months of hard mode I believe, which should reset your brain to primal mode. I can't confirm this since I am only at day 12, but hopefully it helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only extra challenge is doing this with a beautiful woman around.

    Perhaps you could focus more on intimate and spiritual activities together in the meantime. Good luck.
     
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