ARE YOU GOOD WITH WOMEN? (share your story or advice)

What I don't understand is why girls like and hang out with guys who are mean.

 

Very well said

 

Totally understand but a lot of that is live and learn. I’ve had good male friends who after two years suddenly express their undying love for me after I had clearly told them we were only friends and then get salty with me for not feeling the same way. From a woman’s perspective when this happens she actually sees it as a betrayal as if the man only pretended to be her friend so he could date her. That really hurts us so there are two sides to things. Then there’s the guy who knows she’s not interested even though he is so he avoids expressing his feelings so he can live in a fantasy world that she really does have feelings for him in that way..

 

Or maybe it’s just because the women you were hitting on did not find you attractive? Nothing to do with you you were just not her type? And then when you gained your self confidence (what you likely are referring to as “game”) you started to approach more women increasing your chances of finding ones that are attractive to you. Game is not attractive to women it’s cheesy at best and we can smell it from a mile away. We are usually laughing at you to our friends later on. But self confidence now that is very attractive. The difference? Self confidence is real it’s who you are . It’s a guy who exudes this is me I’m not perfect I have flaws but it’s who they am if you don’t like it plenty of others will. “ game on the other hand is men or people that lack self confidence and are insecure so they take on another persona that books tell them to or blogs or friends to try to get a woman. It’s acting it’s unnatural and women don’t like it. Most women myself included find a nervous shy guy who owns that more attractive than a nervous shy guy running game. And a girl that wants a guy that runs game is not the girl you want.

 

It's an immature and insecure mindset.

Why force, trick, or convince somebody to be interested in you? If you have to do that at the beginning of a relationship, then you'll have to do that for the whole duration of the relationship. Getting mortgages / marriage / children together doesn't guarantee anything. That's such a horrible way to live. Always being careful around your partner. Always putting on a performance. A constant game to ensure that they're still interested in someone that you're not. And for what? To win at life? That doesn't sound like winning to me.

Hiding who you honestly are reinforces shame, fear, immaturity, and insecurity. It reinforces the belief that you are someone that needs to hide, manipulate, and deceive in order to feel worthy of being in a relationship. Even if you gain acceptance from others this way, you don't gain self worth because it's not who you really are that gained that acceptance. So it just reinforces self negativity even more.

There's so many negative consequences to living life like this and it's all because of not being able to handle rejection.

 

Having woman around you in the "friendzone" is actually a good thing in my experience. In a social gathering, party etc, woman feel more comfortable talking to a guy with girl-friends than a guy standing at the corner of the bar with a bunch of man-dudes. Personally it was a beneficial experience for me when I started university (college). It helped me know how real women acted when they weren't "on display".

After all, if you can't have casual conversation with a woman how can you expect to develop an authentic relationship?

 

My guess is that it has to do with their insecurities. They play with nice guys and when one mean guy approaches them and make them insecure, they get stuck.

 

Having female friends is very important in my opinion. The problems arise when you want more.

 

The friendzone is valid only if you have a crush on a female and she sees you as a friend. If she is just a female friend then its just a friendship.

 

I wonder too what is your perception of “mean.” Like all people we ladies date a few jerks here and there. From the perspective of a guy in the friendzone all guys she’s with are nean

Agreed.

 

Being honest about your intentions is how you get out of the friendzone. You're in the friendzone only if you're pretending to be her friend while hiding your real intentions. That's what the friendzone is. It's not being her boyfriend and it's not being her friend. It's something you've created for yourself.

Find out if she's interested. If she is, then you move forward with her. If not, then you either choose to be her friend or you move on. Rather than pretending to be her friend while you manipulatively try to convince her to be interested in you.

All this goes back to expressing yourself honestly and accepting the outcome. Rather than compensating, performing, and trying to convince an uninterested person to be interested in you.

 

So I met up with her today we had a date it went well we went in the arcade played a few games I taught we pool we got food then we went to the water front where I live on the coast and we kissed so much I didn't realise until I got home I ejaculated from it.neother of us knew what we were doing .

 

Honestly I never went on a 'date' with any of my friends. We just hangout, sleepovers, go out; to call it date would mean much more I presume.

Short and simple: I speak to girls daily and I believe you develop a manner, that women would find appealing, in speaking and approach to certain topics and styles.

And experience can be my first time investing in a company, about a couple of months back. The receptionist who was probably "sexy" started a simple conversation that eventually led her to asking more about me. The icebreaker was my age. Being only 17 at the time. I didn't even ask her age, because situations like this happened before. She did leave her phone number and we spoke a couple of time, one time being when i returned to finalised my agreement. She asked if I had a girlfriend because i had not ask her out. I still remember stuttering, because i never know how to answer that question.
I didn't want to lie so i said no. She didnt believe that and taught i "crazy".

Probably I am a-sexual?

 

I have done that before too. It's okay dude. If she is asking you if you have a girlfriend, I am pretty sure she is interested in you. Just ask her out (as long as you are not working at this place).

 

Nah man, just another investor. Actually the youngest shareholder.