Are PA more likely to cheat???

Yes, with any addiction there is escalation. Some addicts move from porn to webcams, to sexting, to prostitutes, to full-blown affairs. Not all addicts but some to escalate that far.

 

I agree with AnonymousAnna, it is possible, but certainly not always the case. For me, my addiction was relatively mild and never went any further than looking at images.

 

As others have said escalation towards more and more "contact" with another person is possible. I think what is more common is escalation (from more mild to more extreme) of the type of material (pics, video) that is viewed. Personally I never escalated beyond non interactive video but my "tastes" did definitely "progress" over time.

 

It can and does escalate. Every addict is an individual, though. Not all porn addicts escalate to prostitutes. Some do. My husband did.

My humble opinion is that porn stars = prostitutes. The women (or men) are selling themselves sexually, whether on camera or in real life. There's a huge market for it, and it's big business. It used to be "sex sells" - as in an ad with a sexy woman promoting a car. Now, the actual physical body is sold as a commodity for money (not just a product). This is the culture now, and it's a sad reality which we must accept b/s we can't change it.

We only have power over ourselves.

The honest truth is that nothing can prevent it. The good news is that your partner is aware of the problem B4 it escalated to real life women.

 

My hubby did, branched out to sexting in group adult hookup forums to having a ONS that I know of. I’m sure there maybe more in between, still working disclosure.

 

My husband escalated his fetish to the extreme. He went from free stuff, to subscriptions, to purchasing videos, to web cam, to real life. He never branched out sideways in his porn though. 99% of what he viewed/paid for was muscle worship. Not even sexual acts, just body builders flexing and posing. Not really 'pornagraphic' except it becomes pornagraphic if you use if for masturbating. That's how it escalated into real life muscle worship for my husband. And each time it escalated there was a major stress component in his life.

 

I'm going to say yes because, as a recovering PA, I am strongly drawn to having an affair. P was an easy and unhurtful way to be promiscuous and now I am looking to project that P world out into the real world. I would have many ONSs if I could and that is just what P is. I find it hard to fixate on one person.

 

I would say in general, yes, but it depends. A lot of PAs don't, at least during the addiction, consider watching videos / pics to be cheating. So moving to cheating can be a relatively big jump, and one that would need to be are consciously. I' be pretty concerned of he's into anything interactive, because it's a more marginal leap (in their mind).

Of course, it basically comes down to the individual, and the relationship. The underlying existence of dishonesty is a risk factor, though.

 

Are you doing a formal therapeutic disclosure? We are - in about a month.

Yes - since it's an addiction. It's like an alcoholic using more booze to cope.

Are you married? There's a great risk with personal safety (disease and weapons - yes - weapons). I hope you find the right type of support/therapy to help you with your addiction.

It depends how the "move" happens. Porn, to BackPage (just to look), then act out the porn with a BackPage worker. Or porn, to sexting, to live cams, to meeting in real life. They can be incremental steps. It's a painful addiction for both the addict and the wife.

Yes - the dishonesty is a tremendous risk and is a hallmark of this addiction. Lying is pervasive.

 

No, we had a couple of full whammy disclosures and now it the “filler” stuff. The little things you may not really remember or push out of your head. It’s something I wouldn’t mind doing but I need to look into it more.

 

My husband has never actually cheated on me. (To my knowledge). I am reasonably certain that he never has. And think it is unlikely he ever will. However, I really think in his mind that porn is not a form of cheating. I don't really think it is either but I do think it is EXTREMELY

hurtful. He said once towards the beginning of our marriage when he was clicking random videos one was supposed to be a live video or something (I don't really know how this works) and he immediately closed it before it loaded because this was different in his mind. Something similar happened when he was at a friends house as a teenager. I guess the dad would always sneak off and watch porn and they knew it but once the friend found a picture in an email and that was different to them so the immediately told the mother. So I do not believe that because a person uses porn they are definitely going to have an affair. It probably makes it more likely than a person who never watches porn. The reality is that a majority of men do watch porn, but a majority of men do not cheat. However, a person who abstains from porn is almost definitely going to abstain from an affair. I don't know if that makes sense. To put it another way: If a person was into mind altering substances, for example, I would imagine someone who is an alcoholic is more likely to try harder drugs. My husband is also one of the few people I know who has never tried a drug even when he drank frequently (college) because there is a sharp distinction in his mind. I don't want you to think that because your husband watches porn he is definitely going to have an affair.