Are all fetishes born from environmental factors?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by TimeToQuitNow, May 22, 2019.

  1. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I think this is the case. Think about a porn induced fetish you may have. I'll give my own example which is femdom:

    Once I reached puberty (possibly before that) I started to like girls. But I was only interested in the more normal stuff. Kissing, hugging ect. I had no interest in porn but all the guys I knew would talk about it. So when I was 13-14 I started watching porn. At first it was all lesbian porn. Then one video involved one woman in control and another in bondage and next thing I knew this lead to me being into femdom and almost exclusively watching it for years.

    But before I watched lesbian porn I had a lot of fantasies about eating out woman. It may be possible this originally lead me to watch that type of porn in the first place since the woman often do that in lesbian porn. But what lead me to crave that? There is no reason to think that I'm just born to crave that. Why would I be? How does that lead directly to procreation? I find it difficult to believe anything other than craving heterosexual sex is hard wired into the brain. I honestly would say that even homosexuality is controlled by the environment we live in.

    If you read the book "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson (which I recommend to everyone on this website) there is some evidence for my claim. They took virgin male rats and placed them in a cage with a female rat. The female was sprayed with a scent that would normally repulse the rats. They had sex with her and began to love the scent. When they sprayed a block of wood with the same scent the rats played with the wood, something they would not have done if it wasn't for the female rat.

    But some of you might have fetishes since before porn. I would argue that it was sexualized to you before you could remember (probably by accident). Take a common fetish, the foot fetish. I have heard a theory that many men have this because when they are little they crawl around and see so many feet. I think liking large breasts and breast feeding as a young one could also make men have a large breast fetish. Once you get a fetish that young, you'll probably never lose it.

    The last point I would like to make is about beauty norms. We push standards of beauty that isn't universal all cultures. An example is a skinny girl with large breasts and a big ass. In other cultures, the men like fat girls more often. A lot of men only like the looks of girls from a certain race. Often white and Asian girls are picked over black girls. There is no reason this should be the case other than those beauty norms are pushed on society. Think of the typical movie hot girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, light skin, large breasts and a decent sized ass. There is no reason this should be more attractive than a fat black girl so long as they both have a pretty, symmetrical face which is universally liked in all cultures.

    I don't like fat girls myself but I accept that it is just because it was pushed onto me my whole life. I like girls of every race, don't have a preference of one race over another. But I know lots of guys do.

    Anyways, this is a long post but I think it's important to understand in order to tackle the root of our addiction. Those struggling with fetishes, especially porn induced fetishes, know that it is because your brain is plastic. You can break a lot of those fetishes that are problematic by not watching porn and appreciating the beauty of girls around you. Hope to here your guys perspective on this topic. Thank you for reading.
     
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  2. hd47

    hd47 Fapstronaut

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    I suffer from foot fetish I'm always trying to overcome it but it is not easy.
    When I go to sleep Im always fantasizing about women's feet and that leads me to masturbate
     
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  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    It's not too destructive of a fetish so I'm not sure you need to overcome it. But you should try to stop the masturbation. Maybe find something else to think about when falling asleep. Try counting sheep or something.
     
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  4. I myself have always liked chubby girls and I remember liking it since i was very young, way way before porn :)
    Of course all fetishes can evolve and get more complicated and such though
     
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  5. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the environmental part. My biggest fetishes are spandex clothing and body piercing. Those things weren't even around when I was born.
     
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  6. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    All fetishes "latch on" to a weakness of yours and will make it even weaker over time, the more you use that fetish the worse it will get and the worse the weakness will get.

    Most porn fetishes revolve around either passivity stuff (cuckold/sissy/joi/mommy-incest etc) and/or shocking stuff to get you even more aroused.

    The root of all is masturbation itself, which is a deviant act used to keep anxiety in check. Separation anxiety or just generalized anxiety.
     
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  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    So you think being turned on is an exploitation of a weakness? I'm not saying you're wrong I'm just trying to see where you are coming from. @Lookingforadvice1995 liking chubby girls and @Randy liking spandex don't look like weaknesses to me. Just kinks.

    I agree some fetishes like the ones you named may be linked to weaknesses. I'm just not sure if all fetishes are.

    I agree that anxiety is a large driver for many, including myself, to masturbate. But I think there are other driving factors such as boredom and arousal.
     
  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Turned on = arousal, but fear or anxiety = arousal too. That's why anxiety can create more sexual arousal in some cases. Arousal is basically a circuit that forwards different impulses and some can get mixed up.
     
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  9. Thats why we sometimes do reslly weird shit that turns us on without even thinking about it?
    I mean, I used to show strangers on a fetish site pictures of my GF because i was turned on and somewhat addicted to hear how they liked her looks..
    I never felt bad, but now I do, we are still together and she is understanding so im lucky, but nowadays after breaking my habit and feeling the shame, i could never ever do it again.


    So i suppose the use of fetish porn can make the fetish grow stronger, and then after we stop using it it slowly goes back to where we started from. Thats how it feels to me.
     
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  10. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it's just arousal interpreted poorly and redirected poorly. Even anger can spike up sexual arousal.

    That's why so many people need to be able to differentiate between arousal "gone wrong" and real sexual arousal or no sexual arousal. Just because you get a physical reaction of sexual arousal doesn't mean it's real sexual arousal.
     
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  11. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    When I escalated, I at first needed the things I was originally attracted to, just in a more extreme way (bigger asses, bigger tits...)
    When I finally developed a porn induced fetish, it was something weird and it seemed to be random. Neither was it my biggest fear, nor was it linked to some event that happened in my life, making an impression on me.
     
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  12. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    This is true. That is why we need to be strong and figure out something healthy for us to do when we are angry. Not masturbation
     
  13. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Can you give us this porn induced fetish? If you don't want to share you don't have to.

    The porn itself can be the environment. Say first you masturbate to a video of sexy girls in bikinis. Then you keep doing this over and over again. Next thing you know it becomes the only thing that turns you on. You might like a bikini girl more than a naked one or a fully clothed one. This is just an example but you see what I'm saying.
     
  14. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    Intresting post..
    I was always atracted to ass even before puberty.. I dont know why exactly and what caused this fixation
     
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  15. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    A lot of guys are. I am too. It's often said that ass fetish is because women with wide hips and big asses can birth a child easier. But I think it's very likely that in addition to this explanation, the culture pushed this on us a long time ago. Listen to all the pop music and movies and tell me they aren't pushing ass fetish. Heck, even girl clothes reveal so much ass it's often hanging out the shorts.

    It's so hard to lower my gaze when a girl with a nice juicy looking ass in booty shorts is walking right in front of me :oops:
     
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  16. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    Yeah but in my case i am fascinated with anus, preferably women's but also transgender's if they are enough on estrogen.. Only reason i bothered to watch ladyboy porn is to see them penetrated. I am not interested in men, tryed to watch gay porn which is all anal but it didnt create excitment. Why i love enter in a woman's ass more than in her pussy?
    Thats the wierd thing pussy almost never was intresting to watch for me in comparison to anus.. On the rare times i felt love to a woman so i loved her pussy too but usualy i dont think about pussy at all and its not appealing.
    Its hard for me to figure myself out on this, what could be the reason?
     
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  17. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    That's a good question. I'm not sure why this could be the case. But I think this shows my point. There is no real reason why the penetration of the anus, male or female, should be more appealing than the penetration of the vagina. But I find it hard to believe you were just born that way. Something happened before you could remember that put a link between the anus and arousal.
     
  18. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Yes they are high heel fetish is engrained in out culture - movies, ads, etc. and women start to wear them. There's a good explanation for why a woman automatically becomes sexier when wearing heels, not only because it's fashionable. The position of the leg is in such way that when wearing heels the calves become tighter and the glutes also. Basically, a woman is putting her ass on a shelf, when wearing heels. They have 0 pragmatic value and are even unhealthy for posture and walking, but they are highly fetishized in our society!
     
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  19. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    i suffered some 'light' molestation in early childhood in that body area, it wasn't consistent so i dont know if i should even call it that way..
    but im sure it was there before the molestation, or that maybe there was something else also before i could even remember.. and i sufferd bullying and even sexual based bullying in early teenage years with onset of puberty,
    since then the rage inside grew now that i think about it.
    its a good question to ask myself.. but i had harsh childhood where i always felt under attack all the time, so maybe the anus fixation comes as a feeling to show that i am the one who control that ican humiliate and make the other side helpless, that i am the one who enter.. i dont know why i have this side, and i never harassed someone else, i am very remorseful and do everything to not hurt others..
    i dont know man, i dont think a kid should go through what i went as a kid, now that i think about it..
     
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  20. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I always thought this way about heels. They are a turn on to me for all the reasons you give but it also makes me mad since it's really dumb. There is no reason for a women to wear them other than to look sexy as it is bad for her posture and legs/feet.
     

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