Anyone trying to stop smoking as well ?

Hi NoFappers,

This issue is connected with POM inasmuch as both can lead to erectile dysfunction, in fact, if any government were serious about men stopping smoking all they would need to put on the packet would be "SMOKING CAUSES IMPOTENCE" and I think that would do it.

Anyway, fresh from the buzz from this site I remembered a friend had sent me a copy of this .pdf some time ago and said "read it when you're ready".

It's ALLAN CARR "THE EASY WAY TO STOP SMOCKING". I've tried to stop smoking dozens of times, I've been a smoker for 50 years, but I'm not any more . . . .

here's the link for the .pdf

http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=KvCLSUg70g8=&tabid=64

here's some feedback from reddit,

http://www.reddit.com/r/stopsmoking/comments/1323e7/seriously_guys_allen_carrs_easy_way_to_stop/

 

Hi Pope,

This site continually blows me out how global it is, can't get over it . .

I am in my second day of not being a smoker and yes, the "pangs" are there, every time I have a cuppa tea I remember that it was usually accompanied with a cigarette or joint more likely, but it's a fading memory which is easy to see for what it is, a nicotine craving. When you bring to mind the fact that if you injected the same amount of nicotine in a cigarette into a vein you would be dead in a minute, there is some ammunition to fight back with.

In some ways cigs are more insidious than porn, they are available in stores everywhere, whereas you have to sneek around looking for porn. But during the last couple of days, walking the streets of Barcelona, passing "Tabac" stores, I have not been tempted to go in at all, honestly, and I think cigarettes in Spain are the cheapest I have ever come across, less than 5 euros ($6-7) for a packet of 20

For me, once I had the wherewithal to tackle porn, I felt very confident that this was a very good opportunity to clean up the physical body as well.

I have no doubt this will all be difficult, and I will need contacts, - am quite happy to go with you on this journey . . . . .

 

Hi Gabriel,

No, I'm not going to try that, I am already a non-smoker, I don't think it's very wise to keep smoking "hoping" that it will drop off. Just like POM, it takes a very "conscious" decision and effort.

It should be realised that nicotine is the most deadly, addictive poison that exists.

 

Hi Pope,

Thank you for the follow up enquiry.

Yes the 3rd day was the worst, terrible. The first 2 days seemed like a high that I'd made the decision, but went to bed, had trouble sleeping, and had the most incredible dreams, I had a six inch joint in front of me and 5 inches was a roach !! - woke early, disoriented, almost hallucinating and found it very hard to do anything except get out of the flat and walk. Didn't really know where I was walking too but the old city of Barcelona is easy to get lost in anyway, the good thing is even if you do get lost you just keep walking and eventually you'll recognise where you are.

There's an old Neil Young song called 'Walk On' it felt like that. When I passed by the Tabac shops it wasn't a case of having to fight against the urge to go in and buy some, but becoming aware of what Allan Carr describes as this thing happening in your stomach, like a war going on down there, the process of the nicotine finally leaving your body. And that in itself was satisfying, because as he says once the commitment is made, you are a NON-SMOKER, and it is always the first cigarette you take that starts the addiction off again.

Despite what others think, there is no way its only "in the mind". It's physically in your bloodstream which is medical fact, and it takes that time to be eliminated. There was also mention of the 3 week period which I have to admit I didn't take too much time to absorb, but for me its just one day at a time but I am very confident that I have it beat, very confident.

In some ways I don't want to read the book again, and I won't, but there is one thing that I'll follow up one day. You may recall early on he mentions - only once I think, about his experience with hypnotherapy and states his 'approval'.

I remember wondering why he didn't amplify this, and my experience with reading the book all the way through and then "freeing myself" straight away seemed like I had gathered all the bad things about smoking in one big hit. I had never liked the taste, so why do I keep ingesting it ? My teeth are disgusting, so why do I keep ingesting it ? My breath smells etc etc etc through the whole gamut of the "cons". This to me was something of a revelation as I had thought of all those things individually over time but never all in one big argument. And one thing he does that I was conscious of was keep on repeating the argument, but for me it has worked, I haven't "given anything up" that was important, more given myself perhaps one of the biggest gifts of all.

In my case this was a 50 year addiction that had badly affected me physically, impotence, inability to run after playing football for the first 35 years of my life, oedema (fluid retention from poor blood circulation) a massive decline in work ability (I have been a builder all my life). These are actual PHYSICAL changes that can (and probably will) happen to anyone who smokes, so for me at 64 I'm not even too sure what the benefits will be I am very happy to think that any and all of these may now stop getting worse or reverse. I've already stopped coughing up phlegm which is a big relief as I was at the stage of expecting the next bout to include blood.

I have realised I have now no inclination to smoke AT ALL, which is in itself a big relief, but it is important to have something to do, to occupy that stupid part of the brain that thought it was o.k.

 

Hi joyprovider,

Disagree entirely, and for me, probably because I'm old enough to be your father, the PMO and smoking are entirely reversed. Perhaps because smoking has been a 50 year addiction.

Coughing up phlegm every day is NOT in the brain.
Oedema, (fluid retention due to poor blood circulation) around the ankles/feet is NOT in the brain.
Not being able to run is NOT in the brain.
Nicotine is in the bloodstream NOT just in the brain.
Stained teeth are NOT in the brain.
Impotence is NOT in the brain.

I can't think of any 'visible' physical problems like these associated with PMO can you? The impotence is perhaps the common link and I've gotten used to the idea of living by myself at the moment, if that changes because of no POM and not smoking I'll be delighted.

For me PMO is much easier to tackle than stopping smoking, all it needed was to
1/ Realise the damage I was perpetuating against the women of this world,
2/ Find this website and share my experience with others that also had realised what a mistake watching pornography is.

I doubt I'll be able to run 'faster' but I look forward to being able to move quickly, and the other stuff you say I will get.

 

Hi Abel,

Thanks for the comment and I think this could be the start of an interesting discussion. I have no idea how old you are, but I checked the joygivers profile and he was in the 20-29 group, I'm an oldie (64). Your chosen avatar is some filum star I can't even recognise but I guess its chosen as you think its appropriate (I chose a jaguar cause I'd like to move fast !) - so perhaps your young too.

I am fascinated by the fact that young people seem to be able to quit smoking FAR MORE EASILY than PMO and I wonder why that is.

As my post to the joygiver explained, after a long smoking addiction, no way is it in the brain, it is a physical addiction with physical consequences, and yet to me, with PMO there is only the erectile dysfunction that is a physical outcome. Other psychological issues are applicable, and have similar outcomes to many other habits, addictions or even medications.

I'll start by putting up what I think may be relevant ;

PEER PRESSURE (and after living in Australia for 40 years I know this is big there.)

When I was a teen/early 20's (In U.K.) many people smoked - very few people had access to pornography, in the late 60's early 70's there were only magazines - in no way am I suggesting the 2 were related. The thinking went during the second world war that cigarettes 'relaxed' the troops and therefore they were "forced" to smoke, they were issued cigarettes weekly and told to smoke them, and a soldier obeyed orders.

This was the legacy that I inherited - that there was nothing wrong with smoking, ALL the adults in my family smoked. I, and everyone else smoked in pubs, cinemas and every public venue, it was 'de jour'. Over the last 50 years this thinking has turned 180 degrees. Your an outcast if you smoke, nobody wants to be an outcast. Socially, in public, its taboo. I don't smoke in public, but I don't smile a lot as when I do its obvious I'm a smoker - I have to get used to saying "was a smoker" !!!!!

So the social acceptance is no longer there.

Pornography. Completely the reverse. Sure in the 60's pornography was classified as "OBSCENE" and for years lawyers, no doubt engaged by the porn industry and Hugh Heffner argued that the term "obscene" could and should not be applied to what was a "natural" physical act. (I don't think there had been many double anal penetrations at that time). The "hippy" movement (of which I was a part) argued that this was all to do with personal "inhibitions" and was no longer relevant in the society of the day. So the porn industry, with the help of the video cassette, flourished as mass "private in home viewing", as opposed to having to sneak into back street cinemas, became possible.

So you can now say that pornography, is "socially acceptable" - for God's sake you can get it supplied with your Foxtel subscription !!!! - how easy is that. Its a multi billion dollar industry which is "respected" by economists as a "viable" business.

I have been through the same "trash of the stash", as you have, several times, but I am as sure as I am that I am a NON-SMOKER that I will NOT begin another stash.

NOW WHY IS THAT ? WHY IS THIS MENTAL ADDICTION THAT CAUSES SO MANY 'RESETS' STRONGER THAN THE MOST ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE ON EARTH - NICOTINE ?

I think the answer is PEER PRESSURE. If you have ever been on an Australian (or any nationality) building site you will know what I mean. You will know the "Everyday Sexism" that is part and parcel of men's lives universally. You would have seen the Liberal Party propaganda aimed at Julia Gillard prior to the last election which made me absolutely ashamed to be associated with Australia - (what was it, small breasts, big thighs and a red box) - this was referring to the Prime Minister of Australia - THIS IS PORNOGRAPHY without the pictures or film clip, which, for some reason is perfectly acceptable, and the social norm for the large majority of MALES all over the world.

I would urge you to look at Laura Davies' You Tube clip, "Everyday Sexism" - Ran Gavrieli's "Why I stopped watching Porn" The Channel 4 doco "Date with a porn star" in which 3 U.K. porn addicts are finally "cured" after seeing first hand the reality which is today socially acceptable.

Men are often accused of failing to express their emotions by women, and I see it here all the time, the responses that try to some up THE most complex issues in less than 140 words, when I think everyone who comes to this site could write a book.

 

Hi avantika - Totally agree

 

Hi Pope,

Thanks for continuing the thread, and for the compliment, although that is not my take on it. I often look back at "what could have been" and get really really depressed. I dare not begin to calculate the amount of money I have wasted on this, and the health problems that now await although I feel lucky (blessed) to have made it thus far.

I know exactly how it is about work/public places, I managed not to smoke there too indicating I was aware of the social stigma. I became a mainly "private" smoker, all I can do is to say well done, read the book again all the way through and do it, become a NON-SMOKER, as Carr says, you're not giving anything up.

I look at your PMO chart and you're over half way to your goal, take some strength from that, even after the 3rd day I'm still expecting flashbacks/pangs call them what you will but I have taken an example from my Mother and Father-in-law in Australia giving up smoking in their 70's ! Although I have to admit my mother had a biopsy on a suspected lung cancer which frightened the shit out of her, but my father in law gave up with her to give her support.

By the way, just had a check and my teeth have definitely lost some of the stain, in a couple of weeks I may be able to smile again without emoticons !!!

 

Hi Abel,

Yes your right, I was referring to Twitter, and did get words/characters mixed - which does limit expression even more, and I can't see how, dealing with a subject like PMO, any solution or resolution can be made of such a complex issue with such limited expression, filters or not. We operate through hindsight with this, just as we did through smoking. No body knew smoking caused lung cancer, and the tobacco industry fought tooth and nail to stop that conclusion being made common knowledge.

I just tried a journal entry which was connecting pornography with gender equity and really felt like writing a lot more as I feel PMO is just a small tip of a very big iceberg, and that is sexism. As you and I know, the "building site" is just another workplace where power is a "man's" prerogative. I am sure we can all think of isolated incidents where a woman has broken the glass ceiling, and I can hear a chorus of men's voices saying "yes, but everything is assessed on merit nowadays".

This is SNAFU. This is being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. And to get out of this situation requires a little more effort than a regular clean out of the porn stash. (and I'm not getting personal or having a go at anyone, I have done the same 3 or 4 times and it hasn't made a scrap of difference to what was the cause of the problem).

Male responses to this seems to be that "I'm doing everything I can", and then going out and getting ANOTHER porn stash !! What does that show - NOTHING BUT WEAKNESS - a far cry from the accepted - "masculinity" that is evident on the building site.

I wonder about the influence of pornography on a gang of schoolboys who sexually assault a schoolgirl and then post it on the net - where the F%$@@ did that come from, what sort of new level of SUB-HUMAN is it that porn addiction has created for the next generation.

Both my parents smoked, but at least when my father found out I was smoking at 14 he beat the crap out of me, he knew he had failed in that respect and was probably more angry at himself than me, because as soon as I turned 16 and was legally able to smoke he didn't give a shit. The words he used were "do as I say, not as I do". Now there is silence.

I replied to a post the other of a young man who was introduced to pornography through his parents (father I presume) subscription to pay t.v. at the age of 10 !!!!! - as I understand it, there was no 'warning' that this may be 'dangerous' to a child's 'mental health' as it was probably not known then that depression, erectile dysfunction, social isolation were the by-products.

The sad part is that porn is now so mainstream, it provides a cover to the "Everyday Sexism" that now exists, which is regarded by some as sexual "equality". Even though pornography is not "forced down everyone's throat" (excuse the bad pun), mere ambivalence now means that porn, prostitution and related "work" are now going to be included in some nation's GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT !!!

At the same time in 2 years, subscription to this site has gone from UNDER 6,000 (Gary Wilson's talk) TO 117,000. IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF ALEXANDER DECIDED TO CASH IN ON THIS - HE WOULD MAKE A FORTUNE FROM THE MARK UP OF THOSE FIGURES !!!

This is the tip of the iceberg, the alpha male is now being affected and we can't have that, ergo Viagra now makes everyone a male pornstar, thanks to Pfizer and the wonders of medical science in a male dominated world there is a response that came as fast as lightning to the very real threat of erectile dysfunction, can't have men in charge going round with soft cocks !!

And to me this sums the whole thing up, as soon as there is a threat to the patriarchal system of power, a solution is found - bad luck if you've got heart problems but you shouldn't be looking at porn or smoking anyway. The more I think and write about this, the more I think that even here on this site there is more introspection needed on the root cause of "Why this (PMO) is so hard to defeat", and to me it goes deeper than just "watching porn". At stake is the power relationship between masculine and feminine, one that is at present far from equal, and the continued relapses, to me show a sign that men have not got a handle on gender equity.

 

Hi Pope,

Bummer but don't give up, become a NON SMOKER. You're not giving anything up i.e. sacrificing anything, in fact you're body will benefit heaps.

I found Allan Carr's book THE catalyst because it summed everything bad I had heard over the 50 year habit into 1 BIG session, and to me it seemed a bit like a hypnotherapy session. He mentions that in the beginning of the book but doesn't follow it up.

It's been 2 weeks now and I still feel strong, I can't say I have even missed the marijuana. The only "pingback" I get is occasionally I'll find myself "unconsciously" reaching for the ciggies at "familiar" times like the first coffee of the day. Like you I don't drink much either, and am not really involved in a "social scene" yet. There is a language barrier which will be overcome with time here in Barcelona, but it will help describing myself as a "non-smoker".

For me it was easier because my body is in an advanced state of "decay" - part of that is old age I know, but even 3 years ago when I was still in Australia I could still work a full day on a building site climbing up framework and fixing a roof etc.

It is a very subtle and insidious decline, once you hit the late 50's or so you NOTICE. Up to that point a cigarette is just natural company for alcohol, or at break times.

My problems were pointed out 10 years ago when I was diagnosed with chronic obstructive airways disease, didn't stop then and now I can't breath with just my nose. So my mouth has to be used all the time. This leads on to other things - my mouth is as dry as a desert every morning. I'm sure I must snore like a horse, I look at myself in the mirror in the morning and KNOW that NO-ONE would want to wake up and see the tired drawn face I am looking at.

AND I am IMPOTENT, I know this is smoking because E.D. began BEFORE my marriage ended, and BEFORE I got involved in internet porn.

One of the OTHER big problems for men is they DO NOT LOOK AFTER THEIR HEALTH. If you are able I would get a lung/chest x-ray so you have a marker, even if your airways are all clear that's good to know - you need to keep it that way . . . .

What else can I tell you Pope, Good luck, keep trying, you can do it.