Anyone else developed 'orgasmophobia'?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Mr. Tumnus, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. Mr. Tumnus

    Mr. Tumnus Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I am 300+ days into no pmo. Very good. Lots of positive things, few negatives.

    One thing that is certain though, is I have become orgasmophobic. From being a sex obsessed perve almost 12 months ago, I am now not just uninterested in o, I am horrified by it. I have even convinced myself that I would probably burst a blood vessel in my brain if I had an o. I am an o free zone.

    I decided on celibacy after my wife told me she is not interested in sex (post menopause). However, I can honestly say that if the opportunity to have normal sex came about I would run a mile.

    For now I am happy. I really want to hit a year pmo free. I will feel truly free of pmo. But what then? What will 10 year pmo free be like? What will I become? Anyone the same?

    The strange thing is I still get very excited by women. I am not asexual, just phobic to o.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
  2. BoxPlot

    BoxPlot Fapstronaut

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    I don’t know but all I can say is I am trying to become you right now. To be free, not be controlled by passion, to not act like a mindless animalistic flesh eating wolf, to not be fueled by lust by having to get an o every hour. My wife left me after 11 years probably because I was a sex fanatic, and now sexual tendencies just depress me and remind me of losing the most important person in the world to me. I just wish I could be lust free like you, so kudos sir, I take my hat off to you.

    After you’ve got to the point where youre at, its time to focus all of your extra energy on something far greater than lusting like a perv and adicting yourself to having o’s all day. You now have many possiblities and doors opened to becoming an entirely different kind of person.

    Many of us are working to succeed just like you.
     
  3. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    @Prof Abraham congratulations on 300+ days.
    Incredible work.
    I hope I never become "orgasm-ophobic" as you describe it.
    I would like to remove pornography from my life, and lessen my addiction to habituated stimulus, but I would certainly like to improve my love life and my sex life.
    My goals are to have more orgasms, in exactly the right way - with my partner, and together in symbiosis.
    Not alone in a room, and fantasising over absurd situations and impossible scenario.

    @BoxPlot I hope you're moving in the right direction with your aims.
    I wish you the best of luck, and every success in your journey.
     
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  4. Mr. Tumnus

    Mr. Tumnus Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the comments guys:

    @BoxPlot I know where you are coming from. I will never forget 25th March 2018. I was the most depraved I have ever been. I was walking to see an escort I had booked. I had a 'road to Damascus' moment. Never looked back since. I feel for you truly, I hope you can get free from this terrible addiction. I was where you are now, keep trying to break free, you can do it.

    @Gmork , yes I know what you mean. I think in a way my wife not wanting sex has made this easier for me. My celibacy is absolute. Part of me wants to still make her sexually jealous. It is a kind of base, animal desire though. I feel I should be above that. I became orgasmophobic really after about 250 days I would say. I think that finding the happy medium between depravity and total asexual identity is really difficult once you have been one or the other. I hope I don't become asexual. I really still love women. Honestly, nothing makes me feel nicer than looking at a sexy woman's ass. I just am not interested in o, at all!
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
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  5. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    Your honesty is really powerful, especially in regard to those emotions surrounding your other half.
    I think honesty and open introspection is the best way through these situations.
    It hurts sometimes, especially when you don't like what you find, but it's like person centred therapy.
    Somehow you have to recognise some of these dynamics in order to find effective ways to combat them, - or simply remove them.
    I also recognise something of myself in the way you write about your views on that habituated side of yourself.
     
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  6. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Well sometimes in even sexual dreams I try not to O lol.

    I am not scared of it per say but way I think about it is if a woman can get me to O naturally. What i mean is me not trying to actually finish and truly overcome by natural pleasure then seems the way nature intended it. Apart from that yeah I think the whole pop a blood vessel thing. I did roughly 100 days monk last year and when I started having sex I got bad headaches. Apparently the source was a herb but it didnt cause that when i consistently pmo-ed. Certain vessels do constrict from substances like nicotine for instance and unless u work out at the gym and have good vessels. U can give urself headaches if not from blood flow from the rush of other neurochemicals.

    On the other note. I am uncertain I could be in a sexless marriage altho I know thats paradoxical given I would also want to be with someone who wouldn't take offense if I did nofap streaks. It seems u took her problem and made it into an opportunity for u. It does some what remind me of my current situation. I essentially have a female best friend who has mostly given up on love. We go on friend dates (even while i had a gf) but i suppose if u love ur wife it might be something like that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
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  7. Krishna108

    Krishna108 Fapstronaut

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    I wish I could be a monk like you... Please help empower me in the future
     
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  8. Mr. Tumnus

    Mr. Tumnus Fapstronaut

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    Well @Krishna108 being a monk the way I have done it involves:

    1. Putting no pmo at the centre. Realising and accepting that no pmo is the only way you will find an improvement in your life. You will never get a better life until you quit pmo.
    2. Getting a good strategy and sticking to it. There is no big secret: for me it was diet (no sugar, vitamin pill daily, healthy food), one hour walking daily, putting good sleep at a priority (limit caffeine, alcohol). I call this living like a 'hunter gatherer'.
    3. Realise as you go through NoFap you change and the process changes. Even enjoy seeing how you change. You will feel very different at day 10, day 50, day 150, etc.
    4. Later on, after say 100 days, complacency is the #1 enemy. Never forget this truism.
    5. Do not feel ashamed of who you are. Your body is like a machine. Sexual urges and urges to pmo are just another aspect of your physiology. Once you understand how the lifestyle you lead controls that physiology, as it certainly does, you can unlock the power to control pmo.

    Believe me, the last time I M'd I was so wretched, I cried myself to sleep. I woke the next day, went for a 10 mile walk, and have never looked back.

    This is basically how I did the last 300+ days. So can you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
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  9. Mr. Tumnus

    Mr. Tumnus Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your comments about blood vessels. Back when I used to m, if I hadn't done it for a few weeks, I would after and during m sometimes get incredible pulsations in my head. This is why now, after 300 days, I fear Ming. I literally have no idea what it will do to me. Ming is a no go for me now.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
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  10. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    If u excersize and take something that opens up ur vessels like a muscle relaxant/ pain reliever with a lil caffeine that opens up ur vessels then ur fine. Blood thinning things like garlic can help as well. So if ur wife does eventually want to have marital relations then dont be scared just remember what i said. Till then enjoy ur streak tho and make leaps !
     
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  11. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    dude omg i feel exactly the same. I don’t wanna have any P M or O!

    To answer your question on what 10 years pmo free would be like. Someone who went 10 years without relapse told me this:

    1. You become the most powerful version of yourself (so you can achieve anything that you were meant to achieve in life- like an unstoppable force of nature)
    2. You can do and experience “other” things that are unimaginable from the “year 0” version of you
    3. If life were a video game you would “max out on your level of self awareness”(which can open interesting doors for you)
     
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  12. Mr. Tumnus

    Mr. Tumnus Fapstronaut

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    Positive stuff. Oing serves a function - making babies. It has no other purpose. If you don't want to o, then good for you.
     
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  13. You are almost there. A bit more research and introspection and you'll figure out how to properly handle this stuff.
     
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  14. Pepezapallito

    Pepezapallito Fapstronaut

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    ¡Hola! Me está pasando eso! En este mes he tenido 4 veces sexo con mi esposa por lo que solo eyacule una sola vez. Es por el motivo de que los dos días posteriores me dan dolores los testículos, lo q llaman bolas azules, y la verdad que la paso mal. Ya no quiero eyacular nunca más! Una sugerencia por favor! Gracias
     
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  15. Grey is colourless

    Grey is colourless Fapstronaut

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    Channel it. Become one of those this old man can lift and steal your girlfriend and all her friends. Build your focus with training. Control limbs. A lot of samurai cuts require stability of hand in like nanosecond timescale. Its all about control of small microfiber. Back in the day men were decapitated on battelefield and remained standing because of their focus. All fibers put into their focus. Your children and grandchildren will look up to you instead of he-man or hercules mythos :)
     
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