Anybody into helping each other using male chastity cages for stopping masturbation?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Guy gay, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. Guy gay

    Guy gay Fapstronaut

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    Any guys into helping each other using male chastity cages to enforce stopping unwanted masturbation/erections/ejaculations longterm? Would be great to discuss and eventually meet. I am a 49 yo gay male guy in Germany (MA/HD/FFM) looking for like-minded guys?
    Have this desire to be kept from shooting my semen and orgasm for a long time. Would live to get into a really serious exchange with other guys who feel the same way.
    I think it's a great thing to transform the energy of feeling horny when caged into other activities like losing weight or doing work-out, compared to just having the energetic sperm dribbling out og my body feeling again sad and depressed afterwards.
     
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  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Why do you specify just one method to abstain from masturbation? Your "desire to be kept from..." certain sexual actions sound like you want to live out a fetish. And how about pornography? Do you use audio, written or visual porn @Guy gay?​
     
  3. Guy gay

    Guy gay Fapstronaut

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    Hi.
    I'd be happy with any other method too. I mention chastity cages only because I believe that might be an effective method. I am abstaining from MO right now without a cage, but I am not sure how long I can do it this way. I guess with a cage on I wouldn't be so tensed all the time because so just cannot masturbate, I feel it could be a great relieve to wear one.
    I don't think it's a fetish. I feel this desire very deep inside for many years and really want this to become part of my daily life however I feel very alone with this and would be so happy to share this in real life with another guy.
     
  4. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    OK, fair enough. How about giving up porn?
     
  5. Guy gay

    Guy gay Fapstronaut

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    Yeah totally want to give up porn too! Also watching porn doesn't really make sense with a chastity cage on, you cannot even touch or stimulate your dick. Maybe in the beginning it's a pleasure to get some sort of aroused but since it does not lead to anything soon you'll see that it is totally pointless and that you rather should divert the energy and the time doing something better and more meaningful.
    Call it fetish, I don't know, but instead of watching porn, it would be so much better to cuddle up with a real guy feeling the horniness and sexual energy kissing caressing stroking, but both of us wearing a cage not able to release semen .
    of course doing some sports exercises or cooking a healthy dinner is ad good. best together with my chastity partner.
    I do look for a real life partner in this.
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    I don't understand why you (and your partner) would both wear chastity cages when kissing, caressing etc. :confused:
     
  7. Guy gay

    Guy gay Fapstronaut

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    can't explain any better than i already did. Just sharing what goes on in my mind. Sorry if it is confusing.
     
  8. karlson

    karlson Fapstronaut

    Doing that together with a partner makes more sense to me than doing it alone. I can imagine that this spices up the sexlife for you somehow and puts kissing and caressing in the center of your play.
    If you want to find a partner for this, this could be the wrong platform though ...
    No, it makes sense from the viewpoint of an p-addiction: you have the chastity cage on then watch porn, play on the wave of arousal for some time and finally when your desire is at its peak you're getting rid of the cage as fast as you can to start the real deal (PMO).

    I think there are other ways to block your access to porn, when you really wanna quit the damn thing.
     
  9. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Guy gay: I am with you. I think chastity devices are a great way to reduce and eliminate masturbation. And porn tends to disappear as well......not much point in looking at it if you can't masturbate. Halfway home!

    This forum is not too kind to chastity device users. It's not "pure enough" for them. They advocate porn blockers and such as tools to help, but chastity tubes are beyond the orthodoxy of the group. Therefore, if I can help, please send me a private note. I am OK with you responding here, but know that you will get a lot of "Es ache eye tee" from folks who know better than we do.
     
  10. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    This is only my opinion…

    I think that if you want to use a cage to attain your goal of MO, you would seriously want to consider going the whole PMO hog. It will make things easier. Otherwise, because of the (real, physical) effects that porn has on your brain, this could become a fetish, which would sabotage the goals of NoFap.

    (Of course, if the goals of NoFap don't align with you, that's fine. Go instead to a website that supports that type of thing, such as Milovana — warning, that site contains major triggers. There's nothing at all wrong with doing it that way; it just doesn't fit with this site's goals.)

    I wonder if perhaps you would use a cage only when you feel that you are in or approaching the danger area? Put on the cage at that point, estimate how long before you'll be out of the danger area, and lock your key in a timed lock. How does that idea strike you? It would help with your self-confidence, knowing that most of the time you have a choice and yet still resist. I've actually considered this route, but I'm so new at this that it's not a decision, just a consideration should I find myself literally unable to resist.

    If you wish to find a partner who wants to share this with you, I wonder if tantric sex would suit you better? Taking it extremely slow, in a gentle loving way, and maybe finishing off with some good sex for the sheer love and beauty of it. But only with a partner, never on your own.

    How do these ideas sound to you?
     
  11. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

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    I have to be honest this made me chuckle pretty hard. Needless to say I'm not interested and I think you should seek help because this definitely sounds like a fetish you picked up from pornography. You don't need a cage to keep yourself from jerking off, you need SELF-CONTROL..
     
  12. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Definitely, if this is used in a tease-and-denial context, yes, that would be a fetish.

    But if the intention is a full reboot, and you have identified times when you face triggers that cause you to lose that control, isn't this a valid question?

    I know that when I'm working, socialising or out and about, there's no question of a relapse.

    But when I'm alone at night with only my thoughts, it's difficult. Some people (maybe me included — I haven't been at it long enough to to tell) might be unable to resist, and so a temporary lock — literally — could be what's needed?
     
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  13. KeetsScrim

    KeetsScrim Fapstronaut

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    Had no idea those things were real. I think if you rely to heavily on something like that you'll be robbing yourself of the chance to develop willpower. One day that thing will have to come off and you will need self control to abstain.
     
  14. Freiheit

    Freiheit Fapstronaut

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    Sieht aus als würdest du die Lösung aussen suchen – obwohl sie nur innen zu finden ist. Ich glaube – und daran arbeite ich – dass man es mit der richtigen innerern Einstellung/Entwicklung nicht zu masturbieren.
     
  15. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Oh yes. Enforced chastity is a fetish, women as well as men. Devices exist for both genders.
     
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  16. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    Reads to much like a typical submissive fetish to me. Both getting hornier and hornier over denial time, while describing each other how hard this is?
    Sorry, I dont buy this as an effective method to reboot.
     
  17. savethedate

    savethedate Fapstronaut

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    So, married guys, how do you demonstrate to your wife that you're not masturbating? With a chastity device, she has the key and knows, I mean really knows, I'm clean. Thoughts?
     
  18. savethedate

    savethedate Fapstronaut

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    I was planning to wear it during my trigger times . . . nights while sleeping, weekends and out of town. Ask my wife to keep (hide) the key. That way my wife can trust me not to masturbate. All my sexual encounters would be with her. Thoughts?
     
  19. savethedate

    savethedate Fapstronaut

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    I was planning to wear it during my trigger times . . . nights while sleeping, weekends and out of town. Ask my wife to keep (hide) the key. That way my wife can trust me not to masturbate. All my sexual encounters would be with her. Thoughts?
     
  20. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I think wearing the tube during trigger times is an excellent idea. I give a lot of credit to my wife for being active in this regard. I’m most vulnerable when alone. If I am locked, I’m good
     

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