This is killing me. I've been into the sissy fetish for a very long time, probably around 5 years although not as severe in the beginning. I fully understand the root of the fetish is low-self esteem and low self-worth. The idea of being used, degraded and dominated by other males. Anal stimulation and cross-dressing to an extent are not inherently bad things. Many healthy couples incorporate these into their sex lives. The problem with the sissy fetish is that these things are used as part of humiliation. I've started watching more humiliation videos and getting off on being called a fag, loser, beta, bitch etc. I've wasted so much money on lingerie and sex toys that I've time and time again thrown away only to re-buy again. At the moment I don't own any, I purged again recently. I have a strange fetish where I want to be subservient to black males. I have no idea what started this but again, it's been this way for around 5 years. In day to day life, I have literally zero interest in men and find myself always looking at women. For some reason though I enjoy imagining being used as a sex toy by black guys. I'm seriously worried that I'll never be back to what I was and that this fetish will consume my life and prevent me having relationships with women. Anyone in the same boat? Anyone want to 'spot' for each other and make sure we don't fall down the hole again?