Any others struggling with a sissy fetish?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ForgetFapping, Jun 28, 2015.

  1. ForgetFapping

    ForgetFapping Fapstronaut

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    This is killing me. I've been into the sissy fetish for a very long time, probably around 5 years although not as severe in the beginning.

    I fully understand the root of the fetish is low-self esteem and low self-worth. The idea of being used, degraded and dominated by other males.

    Anal stimulation and cross-dressing to an extent are not inherently bad things. Many healthy couples incorporate these into their sex lives.

    The problem with the sissy fetish is that these things are used as part of humiliation. I've started watching more humiliation videos and getting off on being called a fag, loser, beta, bitch etc.

    I've wasted so much money on lingerie and sex toys that I've time and time again thrown away only to re-buy again. At the moment I don't own any, I purged again recently.

    I have a strange fetish where I want to be subservient to black males. I have no idea what started this but again, it's been this way for around 5 years. In day to day life, I have literally zero interest in men and find myself always looking at women. For some reason though I enjoy imagining being used as a sex toy by black guys.

    I'm seriously worried that I'll never be back to what I was and that this fetish will consume my life and prevent me having relationships with women.

    Anyone in the same boat? Anyone want to 'spot' for each other and make sure we don't fall down the hole again?
     
  2. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

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    At the height of my addiction, I also developed a mild fetish for being sexually subservient to a guy. Like you say, it's based on low self esteem and on porn addiction.

    It was only when I was in the midst of actual sex with a guy that I realized it was all bullshit. I had a moment of clarity and realized that I was very much a straight man and never wanted anything to do with guys ever again.
     
  3. GeneralderFreienWelt

    GeneralderFreienWelt Fapstronaut

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    I am watched a lot of femdom and humiliation porns and wasted so much money with this stupid financial humiliation. I think my fetish is similar close to yours but in my fantasys i enjoyed to get humiliated and used by woman. I am worried too but i hope with a brain reboot i can find back to the natural roots of sexuality.
     
  4. Boccaist

    Boccaist Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, I feel ya.

    I was pretty heavily into that stuff a couple of months ago. I couldn't even O with my gf without the fantasy of me or her with other guys. I thought I was lost in that fetish forever, but beyond my own belief, I'm now 2 months clean of P and sissy fantasies. I can't really believe it. My goal is 90 days with no PMO (only O with my gf, but no heavy fetish fantasies during intercourse). There's hope, guys, stay strong! Feel free to PM me. Trust me, I used that humiliation/sissy P heavily.
     
  5. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Hey Boccaist, that is very reassuring and I am determined to get past the 2 month mark like you...
     
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  6. ForgetFapping

    ForgetFapping Fapstronaut

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    You guys rock!
     
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  7. melvone1

    melvone1 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Boccaist, appreciate what you wrote, can you tell to us more about your "Status" after 2 months? About your real sex (You are more strong, I mean more ALPHA?)
     
  8. Nick123

    Nick123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot Boccaist for the reassuring messages. I am a new user to the community and have lost all self-confidence with all this weird fetishes. I wanna do the 90 day reset and i have been trying it for a more than a month now. But these unusual fetishes flood my mind and then i relapse. The same thing happened twice this week. And it actually happened today after i discovered NoFAP. Seeing the counter made me wanna set it to 0 (although it had been 3 days). I have been single for forever so it is way more tough for me. Any advises people??
    Thanks a lot everybody in advance.
     
  9. Boccaist

    Boccaist Fapstronaut

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    @melvone1
    I status is: very horny all the time, sometimes having a hard time abstaining from MO, but since I have a gf, I get all the action I need there. @Nick123 : It would've been a lot harder if I was single like you. My best tip is to just try to reach the 90 days without PMO, but try to have "real" sex with any girl you can (use a condom ofc). But important: Keep your thoughts off the weird fetishes while you try to O during sex. I think that has been a key for me. Now I barely fantasize while having sex, and my rule is: my gf has to be involved in the fantasy, and it can't be any weird shit (sometimes I think of her and another girl, or her in a shiny catsuit).
     
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  10. ForgetFapping

    ForgetFapping Fapstronaut

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    After a little over a week of trying my own method. I haven't head any urges to indulge in hardcore P or fetish P or fantasies.

    Basically allowing myself to MO once every 3 days using only very soft 'normal' material. In my case image(s) of fully clothed women.

    FULL METHOD: http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/cutting-porn-out-3-days-at-a-time.41921/

    Working great so far. I do have huge urges to M/O but I seemingly have little to no interest in sissy stuff or hardcore porn.

    It sounds too good to be true but it seems to be working. I've gone from PMOing 15+ times a week to mostly intense sissy/interracial porn to MOing 2 times a week to what I guess some would call P subs.

    I tried the standard NoFap idea of no PMO for large numbers of days and I ended up failing easily and binging massively on fetish porn. I realised that MO wasn't the key issue (although I'm cutting down) and cutting out porn is working.

    Waiting 3 days to each time I want to MO is teaching me self control while also not driving me crazy from never Ming.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2015
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  11. Boccaist

    Boccaist Fapstronaut

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    Good job, I think that is where I'll end up (hopefully) after my 90 days. Only MO to soft P or P subs. Keeping the MO off the weird shit till' it's not even attractive to me.
     
  12. ForgetFapping

    ForgetFapping Fapstronaut

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    I've now unblocked Twitter from my hosts file. Despite it containing a huge amount of hardcore and sissy P.

    I have little to no interest in searching it out at the moment. I'm pretty horny but I just want to search for a few images of particularly curvy women. Again I'm only 9 days in but my method seems to be working suspiciously well.

    When I first came to this forum 9 days ago, I was PMOing to sissy P for 3 hours straight with a weak erection even thinking to myself "I'm not really enjoying this".
     
  13. Boccaist

    Boccaist Fapstronaut

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    That's because you're not really enjoying it, it's just P that has twisted and fooled your brain. Let's clean that brain up!
     
  14. ForgetFapping

    ForgetFapping Fapstronaut

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    Very strange thing happened this morning. I MO'ed last night as usual to P subs. Felt fine, went to bed.

    Woke up this morning, fell asleep for another 30mins. When I woke up I realised I'd had a wet dream. I'm 25 and have never had a wet dream in my life. I thought this was really strange considering I had MO'ed the day before.

    The worst part is I remember the dream very vividly and it involved fetish stuff. To be precise it involved cross-dressing in lingerie and using sex toys. Essentially big parts of the sissy fetish.

    It must be lingering in my sub-concious much more than I thought.

    I've reset my 3 day counter and I'll see what happens next.
     
  15. kamado86

    kamado86 Fapstronaut

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    I wonder if cutting out the MOIng for a while would help as well?
     
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  16. jakenomore

    jakenomore Fapstronaut

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    It appears that you had difficulty being abstinent at the beginning (true for all of us), so you began the 3-day plan--easing into it--as you say. My experience (and I can only speak of my experience) is that this has been among the MANY games I have played over the years so I can continue my PMO addiction. The value of a 30-day reboot (90-day is better) is that it clears your mind and you're in a much better position to make decisions about your life. I wish there were an easier way, but I've not found it. 12-step thinking says we are powerless over our addiction; given the opportunity we will act. The way out is to employ the "tools of the program" and "a power greater than oneself" (higher power can mean anything from God to this group of Fapstronauts).

    The biggest mistake I've made in freeing myself of PMO is to "make internal deals" such as the one you've made. There are 100 others. As others have told me, "no one dies if they don't M." But because we have an addiction to M, we think we can't live without it and the P that stimulates us.

    Again, I'm just speaking of my journey, and I'm in the early stage of a reboot. As always, "take what you need and leave the rest."
     
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  17. kamado86

    kamado86 Fapstronaut

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    I have never done anything with another guy but again I have done things online that humiliate and degrade myself (nothing sexual) cos I'm quite chubby People have made me eat like a pig and stuff. It sounds so weird but I feel like it's me trying to get a dopamine rush. Now since I have been on NoFap I feel sick just thinking about what I have done and have stopped doing it and genuinely have no interest in doing it again. how can you get rid of the mental scars, I feel like that's a part of it.
     
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  18. The key here is not to judge yourself for any fetishes that you have, or have picked up along the way. Like one or two others have said, once you engage in NoFap for long enough, your mind will balance itself out again and will slowly start to "normalise" again, meaning that a lot of fetishes you had will disappear or the desire for them will become extremely faint.

    Secondly, and of no less importance, is to deal with the emotions behind why we like what we like. I've got a couple of fetishes too. Maybe I'll share them one day lol.
    One fetish in particular that I have, I've had since a child. It's nothing too "weird". It's just something that women do, which turns me on, and it's turned me on since I was about 8 or 9. So I've been aware of it WAY before I even watched porn or masturbated. This means that the certain thing that turned me on is a part of me, and is not there because of some messed up reason, so there's no negative emotions behind why I like that thing. Some desires and fetishes are actually natural, if it's been there before you even knew what porn was, for example, like in my case.

    However, I recently started watching some shemale stuff. Not sure I'd call it a fetish of mine at all. I don't crave to watch it. Due to the emotional work I've been doing on myself since January, I realised that it's something I've always been curious about anyway, and was just honest with myself and realised that there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 100% straight, but as humans we are complex (if you haven't already figured out! Haha!)

    Another fetish I have is a foot fetish. I like women's feet. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I can't live without these things. None of my fetishes are obsessions. Just little guilty pleasures. I feel for me, that porn was the creator of this particular fetish, because before porn, feet wasn't never something I was into, but the other fetish, was there from a child, way before I even knew what porn was. Both fetishes are completely harmless, so I have no feeling of shame about them anyhow and don't really see them as a big deal.

    Once we embrace ourselves and deal with our emotions, we'll understand ourselves more, and many things will become less of a struggle. As I have started to feel ALL of my emotions, being ashamed of none of them, things like NoFap become a breeze. Yes, there will always be moments of feeling horny, but once the core emotions of certain things are dealt with, the neediness and urge to bust nuts at any given time, just because I can, starts to slowly go away. Dealing with your emotions and being 110% honest with ourselves sets us completely free.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 18, 2015
  19. Kiddy

    Kiddy Fapstronaut

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    I definitely share this struggle. But I am focusing more on just stopping PMO because I don't think any of us can just pick and choose the fetishes that are convenient for us. By stopping all related bad habits, we can really be in control. At this point, I stopped feeling guilty and responsible about my sexual orientation. If I can control my bad sexual habits altogether, that appeases my conscience more than enough, and I don't need to try to change my sexual orientation, which is probably much harder to work on directly than controlling my actions.
     
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  20. Wildeturing

    Wildeturing New Fapstronaut

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    It stems from "us" growing up at very early ages with unlimited access to any type of pornography.

    As we delved deeper down the rabbits hole it took more and more to "get off" or be interested.

    We also grew up in a time where for a lot of the times we were cumming we were watching a large black dude pummel a small white girl.
    We subconsciously developed pleasure from seeing the black guys cum, compound growing up getting your own place and having money you get a freedom to go as deep as you want.

    I've been into it for a long time, a few things help.
    Try a guy, you wil most likely hate it.
    Don't purge anymore just keep it in a box on storage or garage or friends house.
    Jack off, like you brush your teeth routinely. Without the build up the "sissy fever" stays down.

    What really pushed me past it was forcing my body to no longer be passable so it wasn't as hot. I hit the gym A LOT, and ate a A LOT. When I didn't look like one of the girls from the fantasy it made me feel silly and annoyed.

    Lastly I found a girl who I can be open about it with, just talk it out, another kinky person to share the journey.

    That's it.

    Also do not try Craigslist for your guy or an arcade. Go to a gay bar, or Grindr.




     
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