Any experience from those with no observable benefits yet?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Grendel, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

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    Will it get better?!?

    Hi, I'm 17 years old, been trying to cut porn and masturbation since February, with a variety of streak lengths. My highest streak so far was 25 days and for my latest attempts, I have relapsed solely to masturbation, not porn, which I'd like to think is some mild progress.

    I'm at day 17 of my current streak and struggling to see how life will get better as I have serious social anxiety - avoid going out, crumble in most conversations, very paranoid. I've been making an effort to go out more, though it's a real mental stress, hate my appearance, my voice and my inability to simply THINK CLEARLY.

    I've felt like this for a few years but recently, I fell into a depression that I'm struggling to pull myself out of. I went for a blood test recently to see what might be up, and even after having a very poor sleep routine and this addiction for most of my teenage years, it appears nothing is up, which is very frustrating!

    So really, I feel like nothing is going to get better for me as I haven't experienced any benefits discussed here. I didn't quit for them, I did it to sort out my life but I'd really be able to recover with the help of some of them like a deeper/fuller voice + better range (I'm a musician/singer), no brain fog, reduced social anxiety, more energy, more creativity and plenty benefits others have had.

    To cut my essay short, has anybody been in the position of having many streaks like me over a few months with no perceived benefits until quite late on into their last streak?

    Many people seem to suggest that benefits like a deeper voice or less anxiety occur at 2 weeks or earlier. I know it's all individual but I fear not having anything to look forward to in life anymore. I'm just not happy in any area.

    Please let me know your experiences, I fear relapse from my low mood!
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2014
  2. Anonimato

    Anonimato Fapstronaut

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    There's also flatlining which can be experienced anywhere from the first day to 30 days into the streak i think, I experienced it 2 days after I started to nofap again and suffered from temporal depression and hopelessness as well as a horrible headache for the whole day. It gradually went away but I relapsed. So again, it can be flatlining (unless you suffer from social anxiety naturally).
     
  3. Climbinghigh

    Climbinghigh Fapstronaut

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    To me it sounds like a confidence problem, at least partly one. I too have had problems with anxiety, appearance, even my voice. I have only recently been trying to take intentionally boost my confidence. One thing that seems to have helped me is watching videos on YouTube on how to dance. I had extreme anxiety about dancing (like rave or club dancing) which originated with my lack of confidence in my self. Maybe try dancing and see if it helps with your confidence at all. Another thing I have started doing is making a video journal documenting my feelings, things that happened that day, and how my struggle with pmo has been going. After I have filmed the video I watch it, this seems to have helped me become much more comfortable with my voice and even appearance. One thing I would caution you against is waiting for the benefits that other people say they sometimes experience from no longer pmo'ing. I would recommend you treat your anxiety and depression as things unrelated to your past use of porn, and confront them with different confidence building techniques. Your past use of porn and masturbation may be a contributor to your depression and anxiety, maybe even a huge contributor.. I would caution against you thinking that quitting porn is a cure all though. Because if you quite porn for a long time but still experience some anxiety or depression then it could lead to the dreaded relapse.
    Stay strong, you can overcome your addiction, anxiety, and depression!
     
  4. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Hey I'm 17 too and we have a lot of things in common.
    I had social anxiety nervous laughter issues and I still do BT its becoming less day by day with the help of not fapping, meditation and exercising like hell,relaxing and generally being comfortable. Face your weaknesses boldly and deal with the anxiety even if you fail. It wont go on its own completely. I used to do public speaking stuff ever since I was small and I was never scared of getting on the stage but it started scaring the fuck out off me ever since I had this porn problem.
    You should be lucky that you probably don't have ed (Just guessing). My ed isnt improving and it probably never will but there is a lot more awesome stuff to life than sex. I'm the center of attraction at every place now and I have a bigass friends circle
    Even though I started getting scared of public speaking a lot, shivering and shaky voice and shit, I started doing public speaking a lot after my nofap reboot thing began, scared every time as hell and yesterday I suddenly felt very comfortable just like before and I made the audience and my lecturers laugh so much with my speech.
    But I always say go through this reboot just once and not million times.
    And my last piece of suggestion or request would be, in order to succeed at nofap, make a firm decision of quitting fapping forever because its of no use and serves no purpose and is demeaning disgusting.
    Let go of your past and start building the future and start living it. Be sexy. More than willpower its the mindset that matters the most. Brag infront of everyone that there is no way in hell I'm gonna relapse on this site even if you are unsure about it. If you fake confidence long enough you end up feeling confident. Firmly believe in yourself and advice yourself. Don't burst your bubble. Go through all the shitty withdrawals and what not just once in one reboot and if you relapse don't binge just get on track.
    Fappin ain't an option as much as porn.
    And you ll get sexually frustrated and suffer and face a lot of conflicts because you are out of your comfort zone. Fuck that zone. Nothing ever grows there. Cherish conflict they offer a deeper human personal connection. Suffer. Be strong. And yes relax and have a calm approach.
    The solution is simple: Stay off the porn and masturbation and objectifying women and completely stop thinking about sex. It won't hurt. What they offer is temporary and always unfulfilling.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 4, 2014
  5. Grendel

    Grendel Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice everyone. I kinda wish it was a flatline tbh, as I've only had one, but to me it was like a free 10-15 days extra added onto my streak due to the lack of any real desire. However, I think everyone on this thread and my other thread has a point.

    My social anxiety and other problems should be treated separately and I shouldn't rely on NoFap to give me any superpowers to fight them with. However, it is early days atm so if I do gain some benefits from this later on, all the better! At the very least, less porn time gives me more time to come to terms with the issues in my life and deal with them.
     
  6. FormerSkeptic

    FormerSkeptic Fapstronaut

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    I grew up with crippling social anxiety. I would drink to the point of passing out to try and get some dutch courage regularly. I would only talk to people on a one to one basis and couldn't speak in a group, let alone do a presentation. i had a huge amount of self hatred and would beat myself up over it on a daily basis.

    PMO became a coping mechanism, and has had a serious negative impact on my life. I wish someone could have told me that PMO was just a way of masking my true issues, I would have stopped a long time ago and faced he challenges and grown as a person much sooner.

    You are lucky that you don't have to live the life I have, this resource is here to empower you and give you the info you need to grow. I know the brain fog, the incessant chatter in the mind, the doubts, fears, anxieties and self hatred, I have lived them all.

    quitting PMO isn't going to fix your life, what it is going to do is give you the tools you need to fix your life. As soon as you stop self medicating with PMO your subconscious will start to look for other ways to get a dopamine fix, eventually this will lead you to getting yourself out there, facing your demons, socialising, speaking in front of crowds and more. Today I have zero anxiety about speaking in front of a room full of people, and as for approaching girls, its getting easier every day without PMO.
     

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