Another HOCD/transwoman problem :(

Sorry, but it doesn't look like you'll be able to heal while still having sex and orgasming on a regular basis because those porn neural pathways are activated even when you don't watch transwoman porn, just as long as you're still orgasming and toying with your dick. This is because your brain is sexually wired to the porn and to your addicted brain porn is still the best opportunity for "passing on your genes" even if you're not watching it so it will always take you there no matter what you do or how hard you try to rewire. Remember, you've gone as far as fingering yourself so your brain has come to learn that not just your penis, but even your anus is a tool for sex. This is bad!

The only way to heal and to properly rewire is to give your libido some rest (we're talking months here, not days) and abstain from all sexual activity, even the slightest (we're told even porn fantasy is a relapse, let alone having sex or fantasizing about porn!). If your girlfriend can't help it you can always talk to her, explain your problem and agree on something.

I'm told girls enjoy flirting and touching up (romance) more than they enjoy sex (if the guy knows how to do it). If that's true then it's good for you should you decide to heal, because stuff like flirting, talking nice and touching up releases stress.

Kiss her, touch her up here and there, hug her and play with her and make her think she's your paradise and that should keep her warm and make her feel orgasmic. Do what you need to do as long as it's not orgasm or sex. I know some women who'd orgasm just to that kind of romantic stuff. I guess women really are more emotionally intelligent than men when it comes to sex.

 

I think John has given some good advice but I'd like expand on the above statement so that you are aware of all options.

Hard mode is not the only road. I am by no means an expert but all the information I've read on NoFap and Your Brain On Porn about rebooting states that it can be done while still having sex with a real partner.

The main reason it can be a bad idea is if your addiction is of the nature that having an orgasm with your partner might create a chaser effect causing you to seek out porn or solo orgasm shortly after. Short version: Sex can make a relapse more likely but doesn't cause one itself.

Results are definitely seen fastest with hard mode. But since exclusion of sex can potentially have consequences for a relationship you should know that it isn't a 'must.' I'd talk with your gf to find a good solution for the both of you. We all have a different rewiring journey

 

We all got our own things. I'm trying for monk mode others are doing something else. What I think we all can agree on is that getting porn and masturbation out of your life will be positives. And don't ever look at that filthy she-male porn again. Don't do that to yourself!

I don't want to jack off for numerous reasons. I think it's detrimental to my mental and emotional health as well as deadens a person spiritually [ not to go metaphysical] I believe there are physical benefits from not masturbating and not orgasming as well. For me masturbating has no positives it doesn't feel good, it makes me feel gross and I end up looking at twisted porn or pornish type stuff.

But another reason I don't want to wank and I think a lot of us here share it is I don't want to be a JERKOFF I think it's a shameful behavior and that I and a lot of us instinctually feel it is shameful because it is despite society trying to say it's OK.

If you don't mind me asking, Livingnightmare. At 15 where did you get the idea of sticking your finger up your ass from? I guess it's a dumb question as you were watching porn and could have easily got it from porn or the internet, but I'm still curious if you got it from somewhere else?

 

Are you gay if not what kind of teddy Roosevelt stuff on you on dude? I would def recommend cutting all those pmo habits out brother give your brain a reboot and let it heal some , it seems like you have gone to extreme measures of pmo so you def need Hardmode tell your gf that you are going 90days of no pmo or sex