ANGER

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by STAR DUST, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    TODAY I WAS MAD AS HELL! SHORT WITH NY WIFE AND SON. ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLE WITH ANGER? WHEN I AM NOT RETAINING I AM LOW ENERGY MORE PASSIVE DEPRESSED AND KIND OF MELLOW. BUT I WAS PISSED TODAY. ANYONE ELSE GO THROUH THIS?
     
    Eleanor likes this.
  2. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Anger is a stage of grief that rolls through when recovering.
    Porn has always been a comfort to PAs and until they address the root cause, most have to grieve it as a loss.
    You don't even realize that's what is going on, you just experience it.
    It's ok

    Just expect to be short tempered a while.. It'll pass.
    I hope you are having a great day!
    -Kenzi
     
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  3. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    I despise porn and don’t miss it at all. It has been over half a year and I get all the passionate intimacy I want from my wife.
     
  4. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I had experienced that anger too, in fact that's the main cause of my resets :l I haven't find a way to release it in a healthy way, I hope someone has an idea.
    Glad to hear your sexual life with your wife is ok, but remember the brain paths caused by porn aren't the same than those of healthy sex. I think @Kenzi is right, and maybe you haven't fully reboot. I hope your anger goes away, I guess it's frustration of your irrational brain for not getting PM, but you should guess by yourself.
     
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  5. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Despite the "despising it," it does not mean much.
    You still "stopped" a lifelong habit up until a short time ago (1&1/2 years) it doesn't mean that you weren't in a porn relationship for how long?
    I bet it's 10-1 how long you have been sober.
    There is nothing wrong with grieving.
    It shows that you are on your way to healthy from being hurt.
     
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  6. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    THANK YOU ELEANOR
     
  7. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    THANK YOU KENZI
     
  8. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    Yes my love life is great! I am so thankful!
     
    Eleanor likes this.
  9. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    To be honest a little too much energy.
     
    Eleanor likes this.
  10. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    Still harnessing . Goodluck
     
    Eleanor likes this.
  11. TheCrazyThingIs

    TheCrazyThingIs Fapstronaut

    Sometimes I get so angry I want to make people stop.
    Like, all their blinking, mouth noises, movements, clicks, ticks, eye movements, facial expressions.

    I want to make the light go out, and for them to stop moving, stop blabbering. Stop breathing.

    I've gotten explosively angry several times, to the point I can't control my actions.
    A fist through a door here, a broken cup there. The ocassional smashing up of an item of furniture.
    And almost always it is after I relapse. Once I have finished with porn, with masturbating and with orgasming, I feel disgusted. The disgust turns to guilt and shame, which then turns to sadness.
    Which my therapist says, then turns to anger.

    This anger, this rage. It is us covering up our sadness. Our guilt, our shame, out disgust.
    It is a powerful tool to hide lesser emotions.

    The thing we can do is harness it, redirect it to other places and try and do good things with it.
    Anger can be great - when you're defending yourself, needing to excersise, or that piece of furniture *actually* needs to be obliterated.

    This is what stops me from ending someone's life when I relapse, and my next "big hit" to cover my addiction would be to violently make someone stop.

    Don't worry, it's not just you and also the anger you feel IS NOT YOU. Accept it, and channel it, and carry on trying to quit pornography.

    Good luck

    xoxo
     
  12. Such Small Hands

    Such Small Hands Fapstronaut

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    Anger can be a real problem for me. Add to that an unhealthy sense of paranoia, and you get someone who suspects people of the worst, and reacts with acidic rage. I've driven someone very important to me away, recently, because of my anger, and it's been killing me.

    I like to think I'll grow out of it, but then I suspect that it'll always be with me, and I get even angrier with myself.

    It's difficult, friend. I hope you learn to live/deal with this, in time. Hoping for the best.
     
    TheCrazyThingIs likes this.
  13. Anger is a natural emotion, things get out of hand when we handle it badly. There is a lot of information out there on being assertive when things make you angry. I think this is the best approach as either repressing things or being aggressive make things worse. If anger is concerning you check an anger management course out.
     
  14. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

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    I noticed anger used to make me get back on the p.
     
    Such Small Hands likes this.
  15. The caps are back! Lol!

    But seriously I get angry and sometimes I don't know why. I can get angry over dating, romance and sex especially. Sometimes I look at the dating section and feel mad and I can't put my finger on why I feel that way. I really love sex but sometimes I HATE it even more than I love it.

    Despite this maybe porn hasn't left you. We can quit porn but I think it takes a lot longer for porn to leave us.
     
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  16. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    I have zero desire for porn. It’s just elevated test and raising a family. Let’s all be honest when you already don’t feel well and are hungry family can be annoying. Everybody is jumping to poem abd it in a non factor for me. I’m not perfect but the hell with porn.
     
  17. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    I fell like the moderator moved my thread from where it belongs this is a effect of semen retention and that is where I think I posted this. In no way is this problematic sexual behavior. The replies that I am getting are way off base . I love you guys but it’s way off base. But hey the moderators know best.
     
  18. Yes.

    I've punched through windows, doors, walls, smashed countless laptops/phones and destroyed my desk with an axe, one time I got so angry I almost passed out. My anger runs deeper than porn but it most definitely is a significant contributing factor.

    There are only 3 things I have found to be effective for mitigating my anger:

    - DO NOT allow yourself to get too tired. Sleep early and take naps (5-20 minutes) when possible.
    - Fight (eg. training boxing or Jiu-Jitsu)
    - Mindfulness meditation
     
  19. I would say it's still possible to have a porn addict mindset despite quitting it. Maybe you don't have it but I think it'ss something to consider. Of course, you can be angry without having looked at porn but I do think porn can make us quick to anger.

    H.A.L.T.

    I don't have kids but do have nephews and a niece and yes kids can test your patience sometimes.

    Anyway, with the mention of hunger, it got me thinking of this video :emoji_arrow_down:

     
  20. live life trying

    live life trying Fapstronaut

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