1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

An introduction and manifesto

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Saturos77, May 9, 2019.

  1. Saturos77

    Saturos77 New Fapstronaut

    1
    1
    3
    Im about a week into no PMO with emphasis on P and I want to share my story with the community because I'm very determined to quit porn and this nasty habit for good. I hope this post will inspire you all. It inspired me to self-reflect and write it.

    I'm 29 and I've been watching porn for probably ~15 years or so. My cadence has been once a night on average, typically to help me relax and sleep. While this is moderate, I've still had undeniable negative consequences. Sex with women over the years has been hit and miss. I've been able to be intimate but it's been inconsistent, and I've suffered from embarrassing ED on many occasions. The longest physical relationship I've been has been only 8 months and most of my relationships have lasted less than 3 months. The past 3 years I've been very single as I've been isolated in a small college town and working on my PhD - That has NOT been good for my habits.

    The biggest turning point for me happened about a week ago when a girl I've been dating made me realize this addiction is completely beneath me. We had been dating for about a month and initially I could barely have sex. I reduced porn and masturbation and was able to have "decent" sex a few times before one night I got angry and asked her to leave because she wouldn't wear some skimpy pornstar lingerei and my dick wouldn't get hard. I told her I'd rather watch porn than have sex with someone that's "not really into it" and she told me she was "disgusted".

    Initially I crossed my arms and defended my mentality, but after a sleepless night of self-reflection I realized I was disgusted with myself. There's a big difference between spicing up a healthy sex life and LITERALLY not being able to have sex UNLESS you have this porn-influenced crap. Is a naked woman in your bed really not enough?

    Here are the other motivations why I'm doing it this time for real -

    I'm about to turn 30
    Real men have sex with real women. When I masturbate to porn I can't help but feel like a teenager. It's affected my relationships my entire adult life and as a result I've had a poor foundation in having a healthy sexual relationship. I happen to be turning 30 in 3 months (90 days!) and I have new and powerful resolve to be my best and healthiest self when I turn 30 on August 3rd. I'm preparing to be a real grown ass man.

    I've gotten hints of the benefits
    3 years ago I did a spiritual retreat in Peru and didn't watch porn OR masturbate for an unprecedented 2 weeks. When I got back to the states I had the best sex of my life with the girl I was dating at the time. I had ROCK HARD erections and it felt amazing for both of us. Not only did I miss her, but I had built up powerful natural sexual energy and preserved it just for her. Sadly, the trend didn't continue as we both moved (she got a new job in a new city and I began my PhD). I went back to my old habits as a single man, but at least I didn't forget how I felt from that healthy break from PMO.

    Other men are better than me
    I'm a very competitive person by nature. The most recent girl I dated shared with me stories of a guy whom she called a "Sex God". He could perform oral on a woman like an unselfish champion and he could fuck 4 times in a row regularly. What I realized is I've been lying to myself my whole life. I felt like a sex god because that's what porn does to you. You feel like a sex god because you're being exposed to all these different hot women, and on some level you "feel" like you're fucking them. You're not. You're on the sidelines watching them get fucked. But your primitive brain kind of doesn't know any better. Your primitive brain loves seeing all these potential mates and feels like a satisfied sex god by seeing them get fucked, but it's not real.

    News flash - You are not a sex god if you barely have sex with real women and when you do it's "meh" with half-assed erections. This is a hugely important realization for me because I would love to be considered a "sex god" and be great at sex in the future. We all would. Why wouldn't you?

    Most women don't look like porn stars
    Some of you who are younger may not be in this situation but before you know it you will be. At age 30 your metabolism is slowing down and it's increasingly hard to stay skinny for most people. Porn creates this standard and this expectation for women's bodies that is unrealistic and harmful to both men and women. It puts more pressure on women, lowers their self-esteem. For men, it makes us unaroused if a women is a little chubby in places or has "imperfect" tits or a different looking pussy. You can't be this superficial. Chances are your body isn't perfect either and your dick may be short or skinny or whatever. Be thankful for what you have and for what SHE has. Feel more and expect less. Nobody is perfect.

    And if you are an attractive guy who can pull attractive women than that's even MORE incentive to quit porn. What are you doing?? Dont waste your youth on bullshit porn like I did. I wasted my entire 20s on porn basically. It's one of the only things I regret in my life.

    I want to be my best possible self
    On many levels except intimacy and relationships I AM my best possible self. I'm about to finish a PhD. I've traveled the world. Ive worked for incredible companies. Im a proven innovator with patents. I have many talents like drawing and music. I have great friends around the world. Im positioned to make great impact in the world. The ONLY thing where I really have failed is sexuality and relationships with women. I can't help but feel like overcoming porn addiction will make me truly my best self - I will be on a branch / timeline that is pretty much the best human being I can possibly be. Why not be in that branch? YOLO. You only live once. You only have this life.

    Don't half-ass it.

    Dont shoot it into tissue paper.


    I look forward to sharing more of my journey to overcome this habit. Thanks for your support.
     
    Kamúkie likes this.
  2. Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

    You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

    You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

    If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.

    And i would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.

    You may start by checking the links below:
    Learn more about Rebooting.
    Forum Usage Guide.
    List of Rebooting Resources.





    Best of luck to you in your journey!

    -The Winner
     

Share This Page