Amazed! A new approach for me to see sex

Hello fellas!
Today I'm so happy and excited for sharing what I've learned recently.

First, let me tell you that yesterday night I had big urges, I couldn't sleep at all fighting against my thoughts and thinking about giving a 'break' to my reboot. Today morning I woke up thinking the same way and actually, thought in calling a female friend to "spend some time together". Thank God, I'm in a 'save place' within my thoughts now and I discovered for myself a new approach to see sex.

Let me continue saying that yesterday's night urge has been the second bigger urge I've had since I started my reboot. My first bigger urge was last week. I would think that after ninety days of reboot everything should turn easier, but in my particular case, I've to be more vigilant and wise now.

So, this morning while I was thinking in taking a 'break' in my reboot (M not P) a thought came into my mind. This thought ISN'T a new idea in the world, actually a couple months ago I read about this, but i ddn't consider it, until today. The thought was: "Who says that pleasure has to ends in orgasm?".

Who says that pleasure has to ends in orgasm?, well. If you are like me, and most of people is; we learned everything we now about sex from bad conversations with friends. But most of us (that's why we are here in this site) learned this idea from pornography where the whole matter is about doing whatever it takes to get an orgasm, right? Most of porn videos ends with the male ejaculating. Well, after hundreds or maybe thousand of porn videos watched during our teenage and adult life, this idea became a reality and a priority; a "Must happen". Even more, this idea made roots in our minds and hearts while practicing masturbation, where the only exclussive purpose is to have an orgasm. Think it well, Is there any other purpose in masturbation? There may be many motivations but the purpose is always the same. A motivation could be release tension, filling an empy inside, or anything else; but when we masturbate, our goal is to have an orgasm.

So, who says that pleasure has to ends in orgasm? media and popular culture; and we take it as a truth. But is not a truth, actually it's a lie, a big lie.

I'm planning to get marry next year (2018 or begginings of 2019), that's why I decided to leave PMO and start a reboot, to have a full relationship with my (future) wife, free of wrong ideas and free of selfish motivations. If I want this in my marriage, I need to change my mind now. Whether it is through a sexual relationship or masturbation, I must forget the idea of daily or even weekly orgasms. Sex must go further, more that just an orgasm, it has to be the union of souls, not just bodies.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I am despising orgasm, or I am going to exclude from my life at all. NO! Orgasm is the only exclusive way to procreate. What I'm saying is that I must forget the idea which I learned from pornography, that every sexual stimuli must end in orgasm and ejaculation. The new idea I'm adopting and I want it as a truth in my life as single and then, as married, is that a sexual relationship must be a kind of "conversation between souls", orgasm can be part of it, but not the priority, not the goal. The goal is to keep real intimacy and pleasure for both in marriage.

So, my task for this second phase of my reboot is to strengthen this idea, break the link in my brain between 'pleasure' and 'orgasm', which are different things, not the same as I thought.

Please feel free to comment. I'm doing a lot of changes in my life and I appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE feedback.

Sanc.

 

Thank you for reading buddy! Your opinion is important for me God bless you.

 

Thanks man! Would you share with me some of those sources? I'm doing research and I'd like to have a broader scope.

 

I appreciate your words. Thank you for reading. Peace to you buddy!

 

Good! I'll check this source. Thanks so much for sharing!

 

Hello buddy!
Thanks for your comment.
It is always good to read you!

 

I like that.
Excellent way to summarize in a single sentence.
I think it is a principle that can be applied to every area of the life.

 

So true.
That is the psychology of porn, the inner message.