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Am I Going About This All Wrong?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Memorex89, May 24, 2017.

  1. Memorex89

    Memorex89 Fapstronaut

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    It's still early days for me. I still have strong urges. I relapsed once and since then I have started with a new confidence and recommitment. As I said in my log no matter how hard this gets I don't think it will be as hard as weight loss. I lost over 250 pounds over the last two years and I promise that will be the hardest thing I ever did. You can read my log for more details but I am doing nofap because I started PMOing more than useual and I noticed a very distinct drop in my mental acuity. I hold my mental capabilities above anything including M.

    Over the last week it has been getting difficult to not think of M and O. P not so much so I am happy to know my problems aren't with P. I could M and O right now with out P and be very happy. I can stop looking at P and be very happy as well.

    I have been thinking though and reading through the forums and my motivation has changed and I don't know if that's a good thing. Although regaining or reaquiring lost mental benefits is my goal. I am curious now and almost looking forward to the added sexual benefits I keep reading about. Harder erections, pre cum, a more sensitive penis, easily arroused, erotic dreams etc. all things that will certainly and most likely cause relapses but is it bad to think these aren't bad things. Certainly constant PMO has made us lose these things and for them to come back is a good thing? So if and when the come back shouldn't it be about trying to control them rather than deny ourselves of them.

    Again my question is am I going about this the wrong way now? Because I feel that now my motivation has become to get back to a more sensitive sexual state and is that a bad thing? And more than that more self control not complete abstention.
     
  2. br7793

    br7793 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you are going about it wrong. Everyone is different, and has different desires, expectations and needs. If you feel that having normal sexual relationships is what you want go for it. Just be on the guard that the normal sexual feelings and relationship do not lead to PMOing again. In my opinion porn is the problem, that is why we are all here, whereas sex is natural and to many would argue a healthy thing to do. However, remember that if you stat having sexual relationship again your urges to watch porn may come on stronger; or if you have been successful in rebooting you may not be bothered with porn anymore. It may be that you have a change in attitude to porn, think of it as something you used to do.
     
  3. Memorex89

    Memorex89 Fapstronaut

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    Healthy sexual relationships in my opinion should always be the goal. Handling natural urges and frequency seem to be a problem. I don't think porn is a problem for me but I did indeed M and O 5-8 times a week for about a month and half which is high for me. I noticed a change in my mental state so I decided to make a change.

    What I am talking about is not just from a sexual relationship stand point but from strictly an M and O stand point I am looking forward to all of the puported benefits of NoFap. To me the test will be handling this newly discovered sensitivity. But honestly I do think that P is a problem and is dangerous for everyone. But my issue seems to be excessive M and O.
     
  4. br7793

    br7793 Fapstronaut

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    I think you just answered yourself, if you think that your M and O is excessive, then it will cause you problems because deep down you know it isn't something you want. What is longest you have gone with M and O?

    I do think M and O can be healthy and good, but like anything its got to be in moderations. You cant just replace a porn habit with M and O habit, while potentially better, if you are only M and O ing thinking about and imagining porn scenes you kind of haven't got rid of the porn.
     
  5. Memorex89

    Memorex89 Fapstronaut

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    That's what I am looking for actually. I would like to get to a point where I can M and O just thinking about past lovers, being arroused strictly by slightly erotic images (beautiful women, bikinis, lingerie, light nudity) or just thinking about erotic situations or stories. Yesterday I was turned on by a model on a billboard on my way to work. I like that, because that hasn't happened since I was 13. My urges even right now aren't to look at P. It's to just M and O. The longest I have gone without PMO is about a week. It was a particularly stressful and I just didn't have the time.

    Again I am here because of a very rapid recent increase in PMO. I want to go 45 days without anything to do somewhat of a reset or maybe longer if I can. But honestly to me it's not just the mental gains I am after anymore. I want the physical ones too. I am looking forward all the sexual increases for myself and for any sexual relationships that might come.

    However my concern is it the wrong way to go about NoFap to do it for the sexual gains reset. Be it for a sexual realtionahip or to enjoy M and O more. Of course with a goal of when getting to that level controlling M and O urges to maintain the sensitivity and gains.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2017
  6. Memorex89

    Memorex89 Fapstronaut

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    If I start to gain weight by the way. I'm gonna have to fap id much rather be lean than clean.
     
  7. Memorex89

    Memorex89 Fapstronaut

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