Am i gay??

you should see a therapist. there are so many facets to your story...so much pain and suffering. You deserve some real attention to your situation. You're not responsible for being molested as a child. It does mess us up, and sadly we have to deal with it, but it's not your fault.
Please seek professional help. The world seems dark now, but it will get and can get better.

 

I will agree with @noonoon. Maybe a therapist or a psychologist will help you best, rather than some random people here.

I don't know you personally to figure out if you're gay or not, but I suppose if someone is a homosexual, means that he has deeper feelings for a person of the same sex. You're gay if you want to have a homosexual relationship with a man, be toghether as a couple, cuddle and caress each other etc. It's not only about sex. That's my opinion at least.

You know, I can understand how it is to lose a friend, and not talking to you anymore. It hurts a lot, and it takes time to heal the wound. Have you tried to contact with him? Do you think that if you try to conntact him after three years, will he respond?

 

I had a very good friend abandon me when i was younger. It hurt for years. It took a long time to realize i was using him to fill a void left by my negligent parents/ family. I loved him. Truly. But my need was so immense it was impossible for him to fill it. I was wrong for me to expect it, though i never knew that was what i was doing.

 

@percivilization I would strongly agree with @noonoon and @Nikolai that after the traumatic experience that you have gone through it would be ideal to take an advise from a therapist.
I have been through a similar fight with one of my very close friend and I was feeling so miserable that I had similar thought as you were having, it was after a lot of such miserable month and self abuse that one of my friend told me this "Life is a collection of experiences, some good, some bad and if you keep crying looking at the bad experiences that you have collected you might miss out on a lot of good ones".
I understand that you have lost a really close friend but it doesn't mean that you have lost the capability to befriend some other person.

Sorry to say, I am not sure if you are gay.

 

Bro you need to see a therapist. Nobody here is even qualified to give you advice and those that have been through similar situations are experiencing the same problems to offer any good advice.

Good luck man, wish things work out for you.

 

I think that that there is a connection between homosexuality and sexual abuse. I've had a friend who is gay and he opened about sexual abuse that happened to him when he was a child. I think you should by trying to figure out what causes you to have these feelings other than sexual attraction. Maybe it was the pressure applied to your groin that gave you an erection or maybe you have some kind of bondage fetish. I think that you should talk to a therapist, but at the same time I think you should self diagnose.

 

As I mentioned before, i've had similarly dark, dark experiences that drove me into depression. Wish i would have seeked out help earlier like you are. It got better for me. it will for you.
Regarding getting an erection when your friend was on top of you - it occurs to me that at a young age we do all sorts of things to stimulate our genitals. some people rub on couches or press up against washing machines, etc. Does that mean they're attracted to washing machines? No. the simple fact is that nearly any stimulation in that area can cause a involuntary response. the fact is that people use apparatus' all the time to stimulate sexual response, does that mean they're attracted to the apparatus? I don't personally believe sexuality is black and white. Human sexuality is complex. If you find yourself fantasizing about men and not women, that may mean something. If you find yourself fantasizing about men only occassionally, that may be psychological, possibly a reaction/response to something else, rather than a organic sexual drive. That's my 10 cents worth.
Careful what therapist you go to. Make sure they have similar religious beliefs to yours. some modern therapists are wackos.

 

Sorry to hear what you're going through bro. Only you know deep down what your sexual preference is. Whether that be straight, bi curious, bi sexual or gay. I suggest seeking professional help. Make sure it's someone with a very good reputation that won't take advantage of you and your situation. Good luck.

 

First, there is nothing wrong with being gay. Be true to yourself. One can be gay and in a monogamous relation, even marry in more enlightened countries like my own.

But, my understanding is, if you are gay, you will feel an attraction to members of the same sex that you just don't feel with the opposite sex.

A gay friend of mine once described it: being gay is not just about having a roll in the hay - its about who you want to wake up in the morning with - who you want to date.

For anyone, str8, gay, bi or whatever, if you have been abused in the past I would strongly recommend professional therapy.

 

Remember that your sexual preference may vary during your life. Its more about what you like than what society defines you. I dont care what your label is.

I know its hard, but when you free yourself from this concepts youll see that life can get way more easy.
The truth is that we think we know what is good for us because we think we've "seen it all" but life surpreend ourselves when we least expect.

Another thing is that the society we live in right now still has a lot to evolve in this aspect, and your friend just seemed to go along with it. Dont regret from opening yourself, you felt like doing it and you did because you had to. You had to cross that boundary so you could understand yourself.

I wish I could help you more, but nothing like face to face talk. Please, seek professional therapy, those people are there to help you with your struggle.

 

Be careful not to confuse correlation and causation, it is very unhelpful. Sexual abuse does not make people gay. Rather, young gay people are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse because they are isolated and vulnerable.

 

I didn't even read the thread I am only answering from he title because it's a pretty straight forward question imo. Being gay is just a label for someone who has gay tendencies and more specifically someone who acts out those tendencies. But just because you have those thoughts doesn't mean you should act them out, you can if you want but it will make those tendencies worse and as someone who has been down that lonely dark road believe me if you keep acting on those thoughts it is very possible you will get other tendencies which are a lot more abnormal cause that's what homosexuality is wether you wanna believe it or not so you don't wanna go that road because it is endless pit and will devour you if you let it.

 

No one is born gay.

 

How did you reach that conclusion? Its not a completely learned behaviour.

Im not saying its not possible to develop gay tendencies through exposure, porn, and whatever else. However, I think its extremely arrogant to say that no one is born gay.