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Am I alone in the world with this fetisch (warning triggers)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by gynxi, Jul 25, 2018.

  1. gynxi

    gynxi Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone!

    I am 26 years of age and I consider myself to be straight. I love women and Ive only dated women. I’m not interested in men in any way.

    Since early teens though I’ve been attracted to penises. I’ve enjoyed watching oral videos where girls perform oral on men. This escalated in me wanting to try in real life. Ive met around 7 guys and while doing it real life I was disgusted at first but later managed to do it without problems. I do however feel that is not the real me. When I get these fantasies they are super strong and addictive and I must act on them. I think it’s connected to porn usage. When I get these urges I forget about women.

    I want to get rid of this but I don’t know if it’s porn related or just me. Does anybody have the same problem?
     
  2. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Before or after watching porn?
    Based on your answer to the first question I asked, if before then you might be into men(maybe im no expert), if after then it probably is porn induced. When I started watching porn after about one or two years I would get images of me performing oral on men (usually when I was on drugs). I only got the images about less than ten times in my whole life. Now that ive stopped porn altogether Ive never had these images/thoughts, ever.
    Thats why its important to get rid of porn and anything related to it. It can change you for the worse. And if you get caught into the addiction for too long it can get really hard to get out. And who knows what else it will induce in your being.
     
  3. gynxi

    gynxi Fapstronaut

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    I started watching porn at 9. Before that I had no thoughts about men. I also reenacted porn with male friends where I did oral
     
  4. Don’t worry. You’re not the only one. I have a penis fetish too.
     
  5. gynxi

    gynxi Fapstronaut

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    And you consider it normal or is it induced for you?
     
  6. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Then its highly possible it is. Again, im no expert but addiction to pornagraphy is not as thouroughy researched (not yet), as say, alcohol addiction. The best thing I would advise is to abstain from watching pornagraphy as long as possible.
    I am kind of like you in the terms of, "why do something you do not love to do."
     
  7. I had it before I used a lot of porn as a child.
     
  8. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    if you have serious problem in this try to start online gaming like counter strike or FPS nothing else
     
  9. WillyRonka

    WillyRonka Fapstronaut

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    How does that cure a penis fetish? Not seeing the connection.
     
  10. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    it helps in most of times of hard urges when mind says to jerk off i say to myself lets kill some bastards basically its like a distraction from it
     
  11. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    When I used to game it would distract my urges.
     
  12. WillyRonka

    WillyRonka Fapstronaut

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    I mean, you could also eat junk foods, or binge on Netflix. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of those things, but you're just trading 1 unhealthy habit for another. That's not a long term solution. You will relapse again at some point.
     
    Actaeon, Reverent and Sabata38 like this.
  13. Its very common for your porn mind to get stuck on things you wouldn't normally do or want. It keep looking for the more extreme to feed the need. If you can get around other people and find other things to do to get away from being alone with a screen it will help a lot. In time you should feel those thoughts start to fade.
     
    WillyRonka likes this.
  14. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    No I don’t have those problems. You are gay. Accept yourself. Find a healthy way to cope with it.

    Good luck
     
  15. I think you should not think of it as black and white. We are all on a spectrum from gay to straight. There is gay, bisexual, and completely straight. I personally am completely straight but I don't judge. I've questioned whether I was gay or bisexual before but knew the second I saw gay porn that I was straight and I went soft. Your post sounds like you also like women, maybe you are sort of bisexual? It's not a bad thing and you might be only slightly bisexual and that doesn't mean that you need to have a male partner or even worry about it.
     
    Nightbynight likes this.
  16. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    I have read somewhere, a reliable source, that porn lead many people to have sexual fantasies opposites to their natural sexual orientation. Hetero wanting to try gay stuff, and also gay wanting to try hetero stuff.
    My point is pornography is sick and does this.
     
    Hitto, Legendz and Clean Plate like this.
  17. Legendz

    Legendz Fapstronaut

    Like some have already said i think watching porn can pervert our mind and makes us have fantasies that we normally wouldn't have. Usually when you feed this ''beast'' it only gets more hungry and needs more and more to be satisfied and you find yourself doing or thinking things that are far from who you truly are and what you want. For me my porn addiction led me to get off on ads from female prostitutes and i've even visited some a few times. Before i got addicted i would never see myself do this and after i done it i would always be disgusted with myself. Now that i am ''sober'' for a while i know its far from who i am and what i want but while under the influence of this ''beast'' i just had to feed it more and more in order to keep it satisfied.

    I think it works like this for many people, just normal sexual fantasies won't cut it anymore at some point. Some turn to prostitution like i did, and some might develop thirst for the opposite sex. Its a spiral that gets more extreme if you don't do anything about it.

    On the other hand you might just be bi sexual, but in your case i doubt it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Nightbynight

    Nightbynight Fapstronaut

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    I see alot of threads with men wondering if they're bi or gay.
    Whether a man is or not, porn can certainly be the reason he first asks the question of himself, discovery or addiction?
    I had the same internal struggle for a year or two, only to realise I am not (though I would never count out the possibility of bi tendencies as I'll explain later.)
    The way I found out I wasn't gay however was by completely accepting I was.
    It sounds counterintuitive I know but bare with me.
    Porn takes you through a whole plethora of sub genres and by the time you come to nofap its likely you've seen and "enjoyed" EVERYTHING, at least in the moment.
    I was stricken with guilt at first due to the way I was raised and also social stigma. "How can I be watching and even enjoying these videos?!" It can be hard to seperate feeling good in the moment with porn, from genuine happy feelings. You start thinking that maybe this is what you generally like (Who knows it could be).
    So after plenty of denial and mental battle filled with guilt, one day I said to myself, "Fuck it, I am. And thats ok."
    Once I fully accepted what I was internally, I no longer felt guilt for it. Infact once I embraced it and broke those barriers, the idea of preference seemed stupid to me. Later on I didnt even see my self as straight, bi or even gay but all and none. I said to myself I am me and I like what I like. I was free. Suddenly I could do what I wanted and there was no stigma as the internal judgment only amplifies the external. Long story short this ment I didn't "see" gay or straight, him or her just things that I liked, which allowed to me to experience people for them which also allowed me to research my preferences untill they were clear. Im not gay, I've only liked women in real life and porn is porn, and even in gay porn I was attracted to the controle and feminine aspects. If I wasn't able to dig deep into the details I wouldnt have been able to be so sure, but really its an after thought, I just dont "see" it anymore. I believe there's a chance that out of six billion people its likely many men would find a man they would sleep with in the right situation. Sex is often situational, a man so brainwashed in hate toward homosexuals could have been gay given a different life and perspective. Sometimes we dont know what we are capable of until someone unlocks that capability. Should I be bi if I only ever like one guy out of hundreds of women, yes? No? what if I really like the guy?
    Most people will say if you slept with a man and enjoyed it you are bi, even if it was once in your life and you've only been with women. You are now capable, fair enough. Are we all capable of that in the right situation? Atleast once, probably more so? More crazy things have happened. Is sexual preference what I prefer? What if I like guys but prefer women am I straight? Oh I'm bi? But I prefer women.
    It creates a group mentality, us vs them. If I prefer blondes it wont stop me from going for a hot redhead. So why do people have to go through a life shattering realisation for a what in some cases, is just a thought?
    sexuality is a spectrum. hell, numbers would more accurately describe the spectrum than the terms we use, still I just feel it's irrelevant in most circumstances. When you realise it doesn't matter if you are or aren't then you won't have this problem. Just like what you like in real life, try everything and find your answers. You deal with that and let your nofap deal with the porn. Because gay, straight or transexual, porn is your problem. And sexuality? Well it's just not that deep.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2018
  19. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    Research HOCD. While you might be partially bisexual, it sounds completely porn-induced, and should go away with a reboot.
     
  20. There’s an old joke that may apply here.
    A guy says” I’ve been fishing all my life but no one says I am a fisherman but I suck one Dick and...” you get the picture.
    When you’re doing it with a guy, it’s gay, when you’re doing it with a woman you’re hetero. You are what you do, not what you think.
    Just because I think I’m royalty doesn’t make me a royal.
     
    TheManDude and Nightbynight like this.

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