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All friends in relationships

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by DBug, Oct 27, 2016.

  1. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    I keep seeing most of my friends less and less because they are all in a relationship now because nobody has time anymore for anyone besides their partner. This sucks.
    What about you? Having the same problems? Any advice besides making new (single) friends?

    Greetings!
     
  2. You know buddy I'am also in relationship,and the best part is my partner knows my frustration and understand my condition and help me in getting rid of my frustration, hope you know my partner, world knows it by the name of "counter strike ", but I called it my best buddy anywhere,anytime its with me in my bag, never let me feel alone in this crowded world, better you find something that suits you, with which you can spend time rather than just wandering where are they busy, if they are busy in their world, dont waste your time for them, you also deserve to be happy, the most difficult phase of life "move on", you need to do this with your friendship..
     
  3. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    If their relationship doesn't workout, i guarantee they will come running back.

    Its easy to get complacent in a relationship like how your friends are doing and its detrimental to spend too much time with your partner.

    If you want to see them again, do some organising and get them out. I'm sure they will be happy tp see you.
     
  4. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

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    There is no reason you should be sitting alone on a Friday night wondering if one of your friends will call or answer the phone.

    Seriously dude, believe me when I say that friendships are like water. You can cup water in your hands, but it always spills or evaporates eventually. Whether this be literally through the death of a close friend / loved one or just through the natural ending of a friendship.

    It just happens... people change, sometimes drastically. I have one or two friends from "back in the day" (k-12) that I still talk to. And I don't talk to them on a regular basis.

    I've had a few best friends quit talking to me before because we had a major disagreement on spiritual matters or ethical matters. It sucked, but I moved on because that's bullshit and I deserve more loyal friends that give it to me straight, but can accept when my opinion is different.

    When it comes to my friends that have married and/or had kids. Their priority is their family, everything else is secondary. That's how it should be, they are rearing a child or children. However, they did fall off the map. No more hanging out.

    Just gotta make new friends or adjust to the loneliness. That's basically it. It's your choice. You say for us to give you other advice other than make new single friends, but that is the only advice I have to give you.

    Losing a friend, you can go through the stages of grief:

    Denial
    Anger
    Bargaining
    Depression
    Acceptance

    Sucks man, major feels here. I get it. I wish some of my friends from back in the day could hang again.

    Hang in there. Things will get better. Go to a fun meetup or something!
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2016
    sisi likes this.
  5. MasturbatieAtelier

    MasturbatieAtelier Fapstronaut

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    I've been in the same situation for years. Eventually some will break up, some will even get married and devorce. You can make new friends, but never forget who your bro's are. Never let them hanging when they need it. Bro code.....bro. Women will come and go, bro's stick around for life.

    On the other side, when you do get a chance to get on the other side of the story. Go on your dates and miss out on their parties without feeling bad, you have deserved it by now to "take care of yourself".
     
  6. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all of your answers! I just really needed to get that off my chest and (although I know that it is common) it helps to read about other people that went through similar things :)


    Pretty sure they will. Done that myself in my first relationship, but I was 17 and I learned from it and didn't do that again.
    That it is.
    That is what I did the past 2 weeks with not too great of a success. Since the creation of this thread I could however confirm that the whole clique (with BFs & GFs) will be at the same party next weekend which is awesome - I'm sure we are going to have a great time - however if this is a one time miracle then it's not very satisfying.



    Like the water analogy. It's just that I put so much so much work in them. Making friends isn't something I excel at and after losing an at the time best friend a few years ago to - let's say - "change" I now loose 2 others. Yeah it happens and I will find new ones sooner or later but it still sucks. You build yourself a steady circle of friends and then half of them doesn't show up anymore. Luckily I still have the rest of the clique and a few others but nobody I am remotely as close as I am with these 2 (even told them about my addiction). But yeah I'll find new ones. Or maybe they'll make time again more often, we'll see.
    Thank you for your sympathy!



    I have a few of the bro-type friends and I'm glad I have them, they are reliable and so am I if I may say so but unfotunately they are not the ones I'm too close to. I value them very very much (one of them I've known almost my entire life) but there's just a different limit on how close you can get with people or maybe it's just me being introverted.
    Maybe I'll do that, actually a fun idea! Thanks!
     
  7. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    Man, I feel exactly the same. My old friends all married and I'm still here... alone
     
    DBug likes this.
  8. DBug

    DBug Fapstronaut

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    Since that post I reached out to some people I think have the potential to become more than just acquaintances and invited them to a men's night. Let's see how that's gonna turn out. :)

    I advise you to do the same! Post your story and get the feelings out of the way and then scroll through your contact list or have a look around at whatever hobby and sport you are pursuing (which you should do anyway if you want to get anywhere with your reboot).
    Granted in your age it may be a bit more difficult but it sure is doable :)

    Good luck mate!
     
  9. sisi

    sisi Guest

    Good Day Dears,

    Today I found this site, and some view topics are catch my interesting.

    One of this is..

    I agreed that all an explanation,
    In this world there is many colors, not just black and white.
    We should to an accepted many colours has coming out...
    Like or dislike...the colours are gift also from our God.

    Happy weekend
    Sisi




    Dear
     
  10. badeae1

    badeae1 Fapstronaut

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    I can definitely relate to where your coming from. Friends will come and go. This is just a phase of life. If anything do something positive about it. You have time for you now. Go travel. See the world

    If you can't. Get outside your comfort zone and do something that seems scary to you. That will help you grow and that's the purpose of this forum to help you quit pmo and grow.

    So get out of your shell and show the world....

    Stay clean
     
    DBug likes this.
  11. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I totally understand you bro. Right now I'm experiencing the same thing you are. 2 of my closest friends have been in a relationship for over a year now. One is married and the other had his first girlfriend. Ever since that moment, I don't spend as much guy time as I used to. Even though still I hang out with the boys here and there, the experience is never the same because you're always the third wheel. In fact, sometimes it gets pretty annoying being there.

    Unlike you, I've had a lot of trouble finding a gf myself, and have been heartbroken many times. Last year was the worst because I was physically and emotional in pain when this woman whom I adored betrayed me in the worst way. But thank goodness you were not in the same situation.

    Since I'm pretty much a loner like you, I've decided just to work on myself. Be the best version of YOU before getting into a relationship. Focus on your goals and dreams first, and girls will come later. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. And as of now, I got a college degree, a car, and a job. My next goal is getting my own apartment. In addition, I've challenged myself in doing something out of my comfort zone: Public speaking. Plus I'm a shy guy. Also, I found a passion for plants and horticulture.

    The more you focus on yourself, the better. Would you rather focus on you, be patient, and find a rewarding and lasting relationship or get hasty and screw up like I did? The choice is yours, but I know what I'm going to do on my part. You see, usually the best time to be in a relationship is when you're not thinking about one. It just happens, and it will feel natural. Most importantly, while you're doing these things, have FUN. With friends, family, etc. Go to new places, explore, or whatever.

    So take my advice if you'd like. Ever since I've changed my attitude, I feel better about myself, and surprisingly, I'm talking to more girls because of the confidence and I'm putting myself out there to meet other people. I also strongly suggest abstaining away from PMO much as possible; find something to distract yourself. This has been my game plan ever since. I tell this to everyone who is having relationship problems. Whether they listen to me or not is none of my business, but I'm just trying to give the best advice that I can because I know what it's like. I hope this helps.
     
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