Advice: "Don't Worry About It"

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Newgrip Preston, Nov 23, 2018.

  1. Newgrip Preston

    Newgrip Preston Fapstronaut

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    This is the advice that several of my mentors have given me over the past couple of weeks. All I hear is, "Don't worry about it."

    There is this girl that I like that I go to church with, and we are developing quite a great friendship. I'm considering pursuing her. My greatest concerns are that I am reading her wrong, that she might reject me, and that we may not be right for each other. My pastor, friends, and parents all tell me not to worry, and I don't know what they mean, exactly. I do believe that it is the right advice. Has anyone else received this advice? How can I apply this advice? How do I know if I should pursue her?
     
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You're basically escaping reality by asking "how do I erase any possibility of rejection, things going wrong, and not have to take a risk while getting what I want?"

    There's no guarantees in reality. Not everyone will be interested in you and not everything will work out. I'm not sure why that's such a hard concept for most people to understand.

    It doesn't matter if you read her wrong or right. You won't know for sure until you go for what you want.

    It doesn't matter what she wants or doesn't want because you're not a mind reader. So you'll have to go for what you want to find out if she's interested.

    It doesn't matter if you aren't right for each other or not because you won't know until you try.

    All these things you're afraid of are things you can't control. You choose to focus on that rather than what you can actually influence with your actions.

    Confidence doesn't mean you're invincible or fearless. It means that you have an underlying belief that no matter what happens (negative or positive) that you'll handle it. That you take action despite fear, difficulty, or uncertainty. People who are the most successful with relationships are those that are willing to get hurt or get rejected. The more risks you take, the more you'll fail, but also the more you'll succeed. The less risks you take, the less you'll fail, but also the less you'll succeed.

    Don't worry about it means you can't control all the things you're worrying about. So either do something or don't do something, but worrying about it is a waste of time. It's irrational. As if you believe that you can over think your way into a perfect scenario that doesn't exist in reality.
     
  3. @elevate has a post about rejection in this section that’s good advice and I’ve taken it to heart. The title is “Rejection”.

    I’ve been shying away from women due to fear of rejection. Over the last few months I’m slowly getting into approaching women and learning how to deal with rejection. It’s inevitable that we’ll get lots of rejection. We must learn how to handle it. If we sit around and do nothing out of fear then we’re the biggest loser. If we go out and try, even the rejection can help us mature. Eventually we’ll find that woman that wants to spend time with us. But not trying means not finding.
     
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  4. Newgrip Preston

    Newgrip Preston Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you know a thing or two, @elevate. Thanks, that helps.
     
  5. Newgrip Preston

    Newgrip Preston Fapstronaut

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  6. lamstronger

    lamstronger Fapstronaut

    This is the shittiest piece of advice anyone can give you. Saying don’t worry, just like that, doesn’t make it better. Same thing goes for, ,,it will be ok’’. My advice for you is follow your instincts. She might reject you, she might be in a relationship and just havent told you. On the other hand, she might like you too and is waiting for you to make a move. Worry about it! There are many possibilities, you will only find out which it is by making a step forward.
     
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  7. Newgrip Preston

    Newgrip Preston Fapstronaut

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