Addicted to masturbation and can´t help it on my own

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Violincore, Jul 15, 2018.

  1. Violincore

    Violincore New Fapstronaut

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    Hey there,

    It´s nice to make one more step into the good direction. Yesterday, i masturbated and watched porn after a 5 days strike of NoFap at all. I could feel the results instantly and was verry motivated to go on, but it just felt REALLY GOOD after i just gave it a "look". Everytime i fail its because i believe i can just look at something for a minute and turn it off again and be fine. Well, i guess you all know how it ended.

    I am here because i really want to "reboot my system" as they call it. But I noticed that i just fall back all the time, and sharing my problems with others might make it easier. I don´t only suffer from porn addiction, but also from compulsive masturbation.
    Here is a little bit of my story:

    I had my first experience with pornographic material when I was 7 years old. I saw these adult content advertisement in television when i was getting up to drink something at night and my father let the tv on while he was playing chess online.
    It was the most fascinating and exciting feeling I ever had. Eversince then i started to ask god for giving me sex dreams and so on. When I was 9 years old, a doctor told my mother, that my puberty had started. I was the tallest kid in my class and when i got 13, i already reached a height of 185 centimeters, which i still have .It was actually, when i was eleven years old, that i started to masturbate. Fun fact: I was always the slowest kid in school when it came to running. But after masturbating the first time in my life, something in my body opened up and i could run so fast that all my class mates were shocked what the hell happened to me. But ever since then, compulsive masturbation and strong voyeuristic behavior got more and more into my life.
    I also got my first girlfriend and sexual experience with 13 years old. But it actually wasnt so exciting, because i already watched porn on a daily basis.
    Unlike others tell in their videos, i don´t feel like all this masturbation decreases my interests in actually dating someone. I feel more like it makes me so incredibly needy and craving for sex, that it causes unnatural behaviour and nervousness around women. Though i often get to meet girls, i end up in the friendzone, even if they first seemed to be interested in me. All of you, who informed them selfs about the effects of porn on your brain, can see the connections of what I´m telling you here. I just feel like my sexual desire is stronger than me and i have to tame that beast in order to use its actual strength. I even had and still have sex dreams of my half sisters, who are older than me. I just summoned up some highlights, that describe my issue. Maybe just getting it out for once can help me deal with it. So if any of you have to say something, share it or just want to talk about that stuff, because they feel the same problem, I´m all ears because, as I said, I can´t do it on my own as wel..

    Greetings
     
    Flyhigh likes this.

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