Accountabilty Thread Roman Christian Fapstronauts

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by balatula, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    Hello guys, so this will be our new thread for accountabilty activity.
    Feel free to post about your experience, help each other, support each other. Check in daily, weekly, whenever you feel like it. Hope this all works now...;) have a blessed day!
    @dudeface @Delirious 1 2018 @Wilbraham
     
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  2. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    So guys, I'm now on day 25 of my 40 days "Lent" challenge. I know it's past Easter now, but as I relapsed during Lent, I rebooted and reset my day counter. I want to finish the 40 days now, although it's really tough. I'm studying at the moment for my big and final exam, which will be at the beginning of June. So it's a lot of alone time in front of the computer...well not actually easy. But, I meet up with a friend of mine to rehearse (it's an oral exam) and this helps a lot of course, not being alone all the time. Also, I try to hit the gym as often as possible and of course visit this website. And after all, I pray and go to church as this is my protection and shielding against all negativity. Being to Easter service on Sunday was a great experience, really gave my motiviation a boost. So, that's my present status. Can't wait to hear about you guys!!
     
  3. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

    Great! Thanks for setting this up Bal. I'm also glad to see you are still clean. I was getting worried about you when you didn't reply to my last message.

    As for me. I hit the 2 week temptation last night. Came on sudden and seems to have past just as quickly. Cold shower, morning rosary and I was able to recommit myself, though it was not easy. If past experience is any measure, I should be good now for another few weeks.

    Good luck on your finals man. What are you studying?
     
  4. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

  5. transformedbychrist

    transformedbychrist New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the invite. Nice to meet you balatula! I'm a 27yo married male on day 23 of a streak I started in Lent. I haven't gone this long in years. I find that the absence of pmo in my life hasn't transformed me nearly as much as my prayer life has. I am continually humbled by how this is an everyday fight against lust. If I'm being honest, I occasionally despair about how hard this fight is. Do you guys think it'll ever get easier? Will the temptation go away for several days at a time eventually? Will it go away for longer periods of time eventually?
     
  6. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

     
  7. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

    Say a prayer for me today guys. I had another difficult morning. I may have been overconfident thinking the 2 week temptation had past. But truth be told, I'm tempted because I'm bummed about work. No, I'm not bummed. I'm pissed. The leadership at my "company" lets say, has a great deal of power and influence over our customers and they are using it to treat them like garbage! I have to interface with those customers and implement a lot of the "requirements" we are placing on them. I know what I need in order to do my job and how much time I need to do it. So I've been telling folks that if they need they can take a little more time to finish the job, because I can finish mine with less than I've been allocated, but then yesterday my boss, sent an email out to everyone saying that they had to meet today's deadline or they would have to work the weekends. What's worse, they've asked me to draw up a list of the customers that have not met the deadline or not met it satisfactorily (Ie they got their stuff in on time, but it wasn't done "right"). They are going to use this to "name and shame" the "bad apples". So now I feel terrible about telling people they had more time and I feel like i'm going to get blamed for it!
    It's not just that, let them blame me, I can take it. It's that leadership gave our customers and unreasonable task! Not only was it unreasonable (beyond unreasonable, it was sheer lunacy!!) they communicated it poorly! When I was asked to send a "reminder" to the customers of the requirements and deadline, NONE of them had heard ANYTHING about it! Not a peep. GAAAH!!! I tell you the truth, if it wouldn't ruin my reputation, I would pop smoke and ghost! If I were to "catch the flu" for a week, It would tank the whole &$#* project! I'm actually that important (at the moment). My only regret would be that the blame would come down on me and not the idiots in leadership who got us into this mess in the first place!!
    Anyway, I have to go. Till tomorrow guys.
     
  8. transformedbychrist

    transformedbychrist New Fapstronaut

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    That's sounds very frustrating. Sorry about that situation--I'll pray that the situation is resolved as smoothly as possible and that you have the strength to resist the temptation
     
  9. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

    Thanks man. Today at work wasn't nearly so bad as it could have been. It was a long day but I managed to get everyone I'm directly responsible for to a point where they got a decent report. Not all of them met all the requirement and I will have to go into work tomorrow to make up for all the stuff I couldn't do today in order to get them strait; at least none of them got "shamed". I was fit to be tied when I went to work this morning but I told myself I wouldn't say anything and as the day went on I cooled off. Towards the end of the day I had too assist my boss in getting the reports together, the conversation we struck up impressed upon me the extent to which he is being squeezed by upper management. And if the rumors I've heard are true, he has very narrowly avoided getting into some very, very hot water himself. Now don't get me wrong, I think he made his own bed, but... I don't think there was any ill will on his part, I just think he made some bad decisions. My work situation is interesting.... lets just say there is a lot of politics going on in the organization, a lot of very, petty and personal politics, and though I am not involved in it in anyway, I am increasingly effected by it as I described this morning.
     
  10. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for not replying until now, but I needes some time to think about what you've both written. @dudeface : Man, thank you for sharing this. I have to say, it seems to be a very complicated and tense situation at you working place. Economic pressure creates an unhealthy and unnessecary tension between managment and staff...Often in nowadays companies, it seems to me as interpersonal relationships are very much strained or not even possible due to financial cuts and requirements. People in charge try to wrap their harsh decisions up and hide it as long as possible from staff. Or, as maybe in the case of your boss, they "outsource" it to one level below. He apparently has tough decisions to execute that weren't his. Our global economic system is ill. It's based on greed and only profit counts. It's no way of healthy, sustainable development. Clearly, as your first post suggested, you're in a very difficult situation. You have to be the "joint" between leadership and customers and "punish" the customers for somethin, you're not agreeing them to be punished for. Is this the first time that something like this happended? Or is it a frequent situation for you? How happy are you in this company? Do you have other options? It's really frustrating that you have to execute decisions, that weren't yours...But can you do something about it? Can you maybe...
    1. Talk to your boss that you find it an impossible decision and your customers need more time?
    2. Try to work yourself up within the company and maybe someday be one of the "decision-makers"?
    3. Look for another option workwise?

    I know it's very tough to work in nowadays economy...It's sad, really, that people are treated in such a miserable way.
    But, now that you are working in the system (as it seems) I hope you can somehow find "modus vivendi" in it and try and survive.

    On top of that, I think this isn't all helping with the fight against Porn. On days like these, the enemy is enormously strong. Negative experience gives it massive power. But, remember, nothing changes for the better afterwards. It just makes things worse...Do you have a partner, that you can share these problems with? Will pray for you bro, I will pray for strength, solutions and consolation.

    @transformedbychrist , nice to meet you, too! I'm 26, engaged and I started the fight against Porn maybe one and a half year ago. I also am astonished by how strong this enemy is. It hits you continously with its temptation and seduction and is a master of masquerade. And when you think it's over, it comes often back with double strength. But, I can see that you guys also PM, not from "O". And actually, I think that is a crucial point. I think internet Porn is one of the greatest sins of our lifetime. It's cruel to all that are involved (protagonists and consumers both). And I think that there are two reasons for this:

    1. Our society is hypocritical. ON the one hand, we're surrounded by Sex in all forms. Sex on TV, sex on outdoor advertisement, Sex in music videos, Sex in music, Sex everywhere. Even the smallest carpenter tries the "Sex sells" strategy and pictures his table or cupboard next to an attractive woman. Our capitalistic system is based on sexual arousal (of mostly men) through pictures/media. And then there is the Internet Porn, which is one of the dirtiest, hardest and probably most criminal industries that is.

    2. Although Sex is omnipresent, it's seen as something dirty and improper. There are pictures of half naked women all around us, but nobody talks about the real thing. Sex is treated as someting forbidden, unnatural. Nobody would have a "everyday" conversation about Sports, Weather and maybe Sex??? And yet, there is Interent Porn with its overkilling offer of thousands and thousands of videos, one click away from us. Just confirm you're 18 and you're about to dive in. Isn't it sick? OUr teenagers most likely have already seen videos of people having threeways but actually have no clue what holding hands feels like.

    The enormous overstimulation and on the other side, making Sex a taboo subject leads to our hard fight against Porn and guilt. In my opinion, sex is not generally bad. If you meet someone, that you really love, that you respect, appreciate and you have an emotional connnection to and the other one shares this feeling, it's just and right to express your love for each other also physically. I think it is a holy present to being able to feel love, also its physical form. But, our society and INternet Porn use this form of love and drag it into something abominable. Internet P tries to reduce Love to greed and lust, and this is where everything goes wrong. Our body is physical, we crave personal and physical relationships and bonding. But in our high-tec world, we spend so much time in front of books, computers living in massive cities, leading an anonymous lives. And Porn seizes this opportunity and tempts our body and brain with promises of dopamine rushes that "as intended", contact to our loved ones provides. And I truely think, this is, what makes it so strong. This is, what delivers our feeling of fighting an "overpowered" enemy that just keeps coming back. And I think, this is where we need to start the healing.

    God has given us great gifts, those of hope, faith and Love. If we focus on them and try to let God and his gifts into our lives, the enemy will automatically lose its power and finally, fade away.Example given: Yesterday, I had a full day of studying, being really exhausted in the evening. Urges were strong. But then a friend of mine called. He and I started a small music project, some time ago. He intended to reactivate it. And I, reluctantly, agreed. So we met and had a session. It was so fullfilling and nice to be with a good friend, playing music and creating something "good" (event if it was just for us too having a good feeling). After that, I didn't even think about PM. So, if we continously manage to create a positive mix of hope, faith and Love within us,we will have the power of God's gifts. And we will be able to hope, believe and love in the way that the Lord intended for us. We will be strong and the enemy will not just have no chance, it will simply cease playing a role in our lives. That's what I believe. Sorry for the long text, I haven't ever written this much before, but your question, @transformedbychrist triggered me somehow ;) Maybe you have a completely different opition, I'd be happy to hear it :) I wish you all to stay strong this week and feel the Lord's power in you! God bless you both!!!
     
  11. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

    Wow, what a post! It may take me a bit to respond to all of it. As for my work, I actually like my company, I've been with them for 16 years now and am for the most part very very happy. The pay has never been great, but my insurance is banging, I get a tone of leave (both sick and vacation) and I have access to an old school pension, you know they kind you haven't seen since the 50s! Unfortunately I'm currently working as a sub-contractor. So it's not my company I've been dealing with. Also unfortunately, my actual company is having contracting issues, so they can't move me to another project. Well, they can, but the position would be less stable. At this juncture, I'm stable for the next 2 years, so although it sucks it's better than my next alternative... at the moment. As soon as my company sorts the contract mess out, I plan to take another position.

    I agree that our society is quite hypocritical in regards to sex. I actually have a "generational" theory on this. Part of the problem is the Baby Boomers still have a great deal of power and influence and they were the ones that spearheaded the Sexual Revolution. We are now dealing with the fallout of that Revolution, and though the Boomers admit to many of the problems they can't accept that they were wrong fundamentally. Then their's Gen-X. The Boomer's cynical little brothers! They are the one's in power now, and they all have a my way or the highway attitude, but they can't agree on how to fix things. They too are (for the most part) committed to the revolution, and even more committed to individual freedom to do "whatever they hell they want with their own bodies". Now, enter the Millennials. This Cat's came up after the revolution and had to deal with it's fall out, they were also taught by their idealist Boomer parents, to be "Good, Moral, Kids". Well now they are adults and they are moving into power, and the world sucks. They are not committed to the revolution or it's ideals and they see that it has rotted our institutions and is cause tons of societal problems. It's time to make a new way. But... they are coming up again the X-er and Boomer firewall. The result, a mess. A hot, ironic, nonsensical, mess. Millennials will win the day, for better or for worse (probably both) and if I were a betting man, we are headed toward a new era of prudishness in regard to sex. And between you and me, as long as it remains high side, and I don't loose my job because someone found out that I used to (hopefully used too) look at porn back in the day, I won't complain one bit when the Neo-Victorian era arrives.
     
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  12. denethor

    denethor Fapstronaut

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    I am Spanish, a Roman catholic and I am 47 years old. I am married to a wonderful woman and have two beautiful children. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was a kid and to internet porn since it became a thing. I think it is time to try to live the rest of my life differently. I started nine months ago and I have not entered sex chats since then. This is very important for me because sex chat rooms have taken much of my time and energy and also took me to very dark albeit imaginary places. I know I will relapse into sex chats again unless I remove the trigger, which is online porn. That is why I am here, the humblest beginner and doubting my will and resilience, but ready to seriously try for the first time in my life.
     
  13. dudeface

    dudeface Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap Denethor! This is a good place to be. That said, this may not be the best place to start. This thread was started by a small group of guys who wanted to walk together, you are welcome to join us. We are glad to help. But I want to make sure that we are the best fit for you. We all met over on the "Roman Catholic Fapstronaut" group page.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?groups/roman-catholic-fapstronauts.27

    So you may want to check that page out first. Again, I'm totally not running you off. I'm glad you are here, just want to make sure you get in with the best crew possible.
     
  14. Anew2019

    Anew2019 Fapstronaut

    I am Roman Catholic. I just joined Nofap today. I am glad to see a Roman Catholic group here. May God bless us. Being the month of May. May Our Lady intercede for us. God bless.
     
  15. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    @dudeface : Thank you for your post!! Wow, I haven't even seen it this way before...A generational problem, interesting theory. Will have to think about this a bit longer...I hope you're all right and still sober, read some of your journal, really inspiring stuff!!! I hope you can find the strength to keep up the next 2 years workwise and as fast as possible, move on to a better work environment.

    @Anew2019 and @denethor : Welcome to this thread! I agree with @dudeface , you are of course more than welcome to join us. Please consider, whether this is the right thing for you. We are an accountability thread within the roman catholic group here on NoFap. Just to be clear and to make sure, that we're all on the same page. If you feel like it, please stay and join us on our journey. :)
     
  16. denethor

    denethor Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I am a Roman Catholic and I am trying to abtain from PM, though not from O, being married. I am new to this, so if you do not mind I will follow the thread.
     
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  17. Anew2019

    Anew2019 Fapstronaut


    Welcome to the site. I am new too. God bless you.
     
  18. Anew2019

    Anew2019 Fapstronaut

    Had a tough day yesterday. Lots of images popping into my head. I managed to say no. Praise God. I think I finally understand how it has effected me emotionally over the years. Many of the emotional troubles and lack of motivation I have had I think have to do with PMO. I can only pray that God gives me the strength to keep sober.
     
  19. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    Glad to have you here!
     
  20. balatula

    balatula Fapstronaut

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    The emotional effect of Porn cannot be underestimated. It drains you from your energy, literally. And by energy I mean your mental, moral, internal and emotional energy. It's basically a drug, that's what it is. A especially strong, mean, devious, sly and dangerous one. And still so much underestimated, I think. In my opinion, part of it has to do with the generational conflict, that @dudeface talked about above. Limitless sexual revolution somehow led to loss of boundaries and blunting of our senses towards sexualtiy. And of course, the Internet and the Porn Industry provided the supply. Problem is, Porn promises relieve from negative emotions. It's never providing that, at least, that's what I experienced. Praying, talking to God, going to church, meeting someone you like, getting social interaction, talking to someone you love, doing Sports, Music, handcrafting, cooking, playing chess, doing chores etc. These are things that provide positive energy. Porn is to be blamed for a massive amount of depression in our nowadays world, I'm sure. So, we have to acknowledge this and fight with all our strength against it. And together with the Lord and this community, we will succeed. We will change the game. @Anew2019 , glad to hear you prayed to God, analysed your feelings and stayed clean. Keep up the good Work!!!

    As for me, today's tough too, as I'm alone all day. But, I already prayed, will get done a bunch of studying, going shopping for groceries (which I like very much), cooking soup (which I like even more ;) ) and hitting the Gym later. But first things first, getting work done and saying a prayer for all of us! God bless you!
     
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