Abstinence and Meditation (and transmutation)?

Hello!

I'd like to inquire, if you are meditating, which way you are meditating during abstinence?

And what sort of sensations you experience during meditation while
on abstinence? And how does meditation affect on you during abstinence?
...
Myself, i am at day 83 without any release, no even nocturnal emissions. And i've taken notice that meditation feels quite horrible during abstinence. It seem to make things worse.

I've tried forehead meditation, chakra meditation, mantra meditation, "loving-kindness", just emtying mind/counting numbers to enter "dao", switching according to daily feel, some days other styles just feel better to carry out.

First of all, It feels a lot more difficult to relax body during abstince. And there seems to be
a lot of vibration sensations in testicles, and in lower belly, plus, every time, if
reaching good relaxed state, there's boner, which often leads to sort of orgasm, without
ejaculation. (I never have boners during meditation if i'm not on nofap/abstinence).

This then leads to higher horny feeling, and increased pressure in the reproduction organs
areas.

Sexual Transmutation, really, i feel it is quite a challenge to achieve. Shouldn't the forehead
meditation lead to sort of transmutation? I mostly get just headache/eye pain, no matter how relaxed i try to do it. Sometimes during other style of meditations, i've tried to just spread the energy around body but not really work like that way, heh. 1. and 2. chakra meditation does something but it also just makes things worse (increased vibration/pressure).

I've couple of times felt the "orgasm" goes along spine, but usually it is just whole body thing, or
front body sensation. And it just makes feel lazy or over-relaxed.

And if there's no this "orgasm", things are just worse, mind fog, or so, and more physical discomfort, sluggish.

Maybe better just release

 

Well, my mind. Like if repeating mantra, i repeat mantra and same time trying to also keep concentration on breath. There's no much other thoughts but some random perceivings of sensations and of some noises, like sense of deeper relaxation, vibrations and so on, which i try to just acknowledge and keep going repeating mantra. When i reach the point of emptiness, stillness, on mind, body feels also warm and more relaxed, sweating maybe, then there's often these erections and/or orgasms. This often happens after 20-30 minutes.

But it surely has something to do with abstinence. Testicles are often tensed/close to body, and there's such a pressing sensation all the time. Then when reaching relaxation it someway triggers something i think. Body thinks it is good moment to try to release or something.

I wish i could get rid of these orgasms things and use the sexual energy better ways but so challenging.

Maybe i should first relax my body then try to meditate just, the best way to relax i feel is trying to meditate.