a wonderful new journey

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by cloudhugs5, Nov 17, 2018.

  1. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 0:
    Hi. I've tried to abstain from PMO several times, but I always relapse then give up. I'd like to not give up this time. I'm sick of this addiction. It's not part of who I'd like to be.

    I will update this journal at least every week, if not more.

    I'm excited and determined to succeed. ^^
     
  2. Elias Smith

    Elias Smith Fapstronaut

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    Then you are half way there. Nothing but support from this group. Best of luck.
     
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  3. Freedom_lover

    Freedom_lover Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Good luck in this travel!
    You aren't alone. We're with you :)
    I wish you all the best.
     
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  4. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear about your determination. Believe in a new way of life, believe that you will be able to break free. :)
     
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  5. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 0:
    Hi, it has been quite a while since I've posted on here. I have been struggling with beating this and I think it would be helpful to post on here often. I feel like I've been wasting a lot of my days lately and haven't been very happy. I haven't been that productive, the only productive thing I've been doing is going to school. I skipped it today though. I need to actually make some changes in my life, I always say I will but never do, maybe I need to take smaller steps.
     
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  6. Flawlfull

    Flawlfull Fapstronaut

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    We're still here for you. Don't stop!
     
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  7. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you!
     
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  8. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Good Morning @cloudhugs5

    I read a whole lots of encouragement, but not real world help for you. Please allow me to help kick start this process for you:

    • This recovery, take it "one day at a time". Get up, look yourself in the mirror, and say "just for today".
    • Start a Journal and update it regularly. Like here in this thread is a great place. It gives you a history so that you can see where you've been, where you are, and where you are going.
    • Find an AP. You may start a thread in the "Accountability Partner" Forum to get that ball rolling.
    • Get and read "Out of the Shadows" by Dr. Patrick Carnes. He is the world's foremost expert on this addiction.
    • Lean on your support for help. There is an abundance of it here. If you have someone you can confide in (be very very careful on this one), then that too would be a good place to get help when you need it most.
    That is it for now. If you have questions, ask. If you need help, ask. Whatever guilt, shame, and embarrassment you carry, bring it here and dump it in our lap. Let us take that away from you.

    That's it for now. If you want/need anything, you know how to find me.
     
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  9. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 1:
    Today has been okay. I went to school and the store after, which was a distraction from urges. :) I did have urges today, but my thoughts were that although I have them, I don't have to act on them. I don't have to MO or search P. I can continue with my current task and the urges will pass.

    "7 Years" by Lukas Graham started playing I was in the car earlier and the lyrics made me think how fast life goes by and how I should be making the most of it. Great things can happen. :D

    To be honest, I don't have any friends. I am too nervous to talk to anyone besides family and when I do talk to anyone else, it comes out as a mumble or whisper unless I get called on to answer a question in class. This is due to me being isolated and not really doing much, which is something I want to change. Something I will overcome along with this addiction.

    I also read a plan on a Bible app called YouVersion. Getting close to God is something I would love to do.

    I also read a bit about minimalism, which is also something I'd like to incorporate into my new lifestyle.

    Anyways, I'm going to make a plan before I go to sleep. I need to keep myself occupied if I want to overcome PMO and I don't want to feel lost all the time. Self improvement, including quitting PMO, had been something I've been attempting for years now but I haven't succeeded yet, which is very disappointing, but I just need to keep trying.

    Bye until tomorrow. :p
     

    Attached Files:

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  10. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for the advice, I will definitely follow it. :)
     
  11. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 2:
    Hi everyone, today was a fine day. I did have urges, but I didn't give into them. I went without my phone and laptop for about half of the day and spent my time reading and writing instead, which was nice. :)

    From today on, this is my daily to do list:
    Pray.
    Read the Bible.
    Go to school/complete assignments. (On weekends or any other non school day I don't have any assignments to work on, study any topic of my choice for 1-2 hours)
    No PMO.
    Go to bed at 10:30 pm.
    Practice keyboard.
    Read at least 20 pages of a book.
    Post an entry on this thread.

    Stay strong everyone!
     
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  12. Beautiful_Life

    Beautiful_Life Fapstronaut

    Hi!!
    Good luck in our journey, it's something difficult but for sure not impossible.
    It's when you realize how beautiful life is when you look for happiness in things that make you feel full.
    In my case it helps me when I appreciate them, the sun, a smile, a song, saying thank you, a laugh, forgiving someone...If we achieve that our looking and view of things change so that we can see people in a beautiful and deep way, (as what they really are, as persons and admire them as they are) admire their inside beauty, but also the outside one with pure eyes, we will win. We will be also able to admire us totally and transmit it to the people around us. I would recommend you that everyday you look yourself in a mirror and smile, you will feel you have a lot of value and you will be able to look the beauty in you, also through your eyes and your looking.

    I am Christian and it helps me a lot also contemplating the love of God, it's something that makes me see things differently and be separated from PMO. Also confessing it's something incredible.
    I think our goal is to find love in the pure way.
    If I can help you in whatever just ask. Good luck again!
     
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  13. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! I wish you good luck in your journey and I'm here to help as well. :) You are right, life has so many beautiful things to offer and people are very admirable. Appreciating small things is so important. :D

    God's love also helps me see things differently. He is so wonderful.
     
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  14. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Nice plan, it's good to stay busy and involved in happy recreational activities as well. Cheers! :)
     
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  15. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 3:

    Pray. ✅
    Read the Bible. ✅
    Studying a topic of my choice for 1-2 hours. ✅
    No PMO. ✅
    Go to bed at 10:30 pm. ✅
    Practice keyboard.
    Read at least 20 pages of a book. ✅
    Post an entry on this thread. ✅

    Hi everyone. :p Today was a nice day, I did have small urges here and there but thinking of God and reading the Bible helped me.

    I read Psalms 4-8, and this verse popped out to me that reminded me of not giving into PMO:
    Psalms 4:4: Tremble and do not sin, when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

    I also was thinking that some reasons I have been feeling sad lately are because I compare myself to others and always want to be like them, which leads me spending hours searching for other people's methods of self improvement instead of actually acting on what I want to do. :/ It's also kind of an excuse to not do anything, but I will stop doing it. It wastes too much time.

    I'm going to try to be more positive and appreciate more of the good things in life, looking at the good in everything that happens to me each day. Negativity will not only push me away from God, but it will make me more vulnerable to this addiction and prevent me from doing the things I'd like to do, which is not something I want for myself anymore.

    Anyway, today I also read 20 pages of Warcross (which is a good book so far) and watched about an hour's worth of Crash Course Theater videos.

    So not a bad day. :D

    Stay strong everyone!
     
  16. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Good, you're sticking to your plans. Excersising discipline is a must. It's good to be purpose full with our thoughts by keeping them focused on good and productive things. :)
     
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  17. Beautiful_Life

    Beautiful_Life Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much! You are right, God looks at us with a loving gaze because we want to change.
     
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  18. Beautiful_Life

    Beautiful_Life Fapstronaut

    Exactly, you do not have to compare to others. You are just great how you are and how God created you and your desire of change makes you even better. I would recommend you also listening to God songs, it's something that helps me a lot :)
     
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  19. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    I really like this. You can also put that in calendar format, and @FlyingPizza has an incredible illustration of it in her journal. Seek it out. I think you'll be impressed.
     
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  20. cloudhugs5

    cloudhugs5 Fapstronaut

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    Day 6:

    Hi everyone! Thank you for your comments. :)
    I missed day 4 and 5 on this thread, but they were okay, I've still been having urges but I haven't given into them.

    Anyway, it is very early morning where I am, so I will add another post to this thread later of how today went.

    Stay strong everyone! :)
     

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