Hi ladies I've been lurking for a long time. I'm an older woman. I'm part of the generation that didn't have access to high speed internet porn. Porn was limited in my youth to magazines and the occasional VHS/Beta tape that a teenager would find in father's hiding place. Don't misunderstand, my generation had its own unique problems with pornography even though it wasn't as accessible and it wasn't as violent. Pornography has always involved male sexual violence against women, the domination/submission theme. However, it was a bit less blatantly violent back then. I remember teen boys talking about how great Hustler was. The violence was more explicit in H and Flynt had no qualms about telling his male audience that women were literally MEAT to be ground up and destroyed/consumed. Many women of my generation cannot believe what today's younger women are experiencing. Some of us feel like we failed you because we didn't step in. Some of us did try to step in and stop this from happening, to no avail. The porn industry is probably one of the largest industries in the world. Women all over the world are still trying to fight back. I suppose I am one of them. I've seen the damage and destruction this industry causes in my own life and the lives of other women and girls. I'm very pointed in my words when I talk about what happens to females because of this industry. The reason is because I think it needs to be said very plainly. I hope I can inspire other women to open up since it was reading some of your stories that I finally opened up. I'm also here because I'm a woman who was, like many of you, involved with a man who cheated on me with porn. The emotional absence was the hardest to bear. There's a physical body of your partner but he is psychologically somewhere else. There is a lack of intimacy both emotional and sexual. When he gets home from work he does everything quickly so he can escape to his 'office' where he closes the door on you and you are completely alone. After we were married for a few months I realized he had a serious problem and knew never to have a child with him. I made absolutely sure never to have kids with him. I can only imagine what hell that would've been like, especially if I had a daughter. I've read many of your stories dealing with spouses who were just like mine. I left my spouse and never looked back. It was the best decision I ever made. While I miss the man I met in college, I do not miss the man I left. It took a few years for me to adjust and it was financially very hard but once I tasted that independence I was thrilled to be own my own, with no ball and chain. You're literally sleeping with a man who isn't there but you're pulling his weight too. Gosh, I know that all too well. Some of you have already gotten a response from me about your spouses and the troubles you're having. I will freely admit that my position is to set clear rules and clear consequences and to always follow through. I don't know if that's a generational thing or if it's part of my personality. Probably both. I look forward to speaking with you and reading more of your stories.