A problem with submission

Hey there people! So I've gotten myself in a weird spot. My story much like a lot of the folks here is rather simple. Got into PMO at a very young age, then kept it up. Masturbated like 6 times a day and escalated to weird things. I've watched it all, except for (and thank fucking god) child porn. Now. One of the things I've watched was gay porn. I consider myself straight. I think I am going through HOCD right now. For a few months I thought I was gay. I no longer think that. Then I thought I was bi (in fact up until recent). I have a problem with the latter cause I genuinely don't find the male body attractive. I can without any problem now say if a guy is good looking (although HOCD really didn't want me to accept that) and in all honesty I think it's normal to be able to say if a person of the same sex (or the opposite to yours sexual orientation) is good looking. I do not feel any sexual attraction from the male body. My problems started when I watching gay porn some time ago (a few months now) and I was wondering why do I get turned on by it. I've never watched it from the dudes I don't find their bodies attractive and then I figured it out. It was the idea of being dominated by a man. I've never been an assertive dude or dominant and in fact I can feel a bit weak and scared from life in general. So since I really don't draw any sexual stimulation from the male body in general and I would never nor do I want to have a sexual relationship with men this cycle has me in a very weird checkmate. I feel like I am submissive not only in sex but also in life. How do I change that mindset ?! Sorry for the long post. Cheers !