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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Shin Iu, Feb 28, 2018.
Thanks a lot
Who me? Naw, bless you, girl. You have a long way ahead of you, fasten your seatbelt tightly! I wish all the very, very best in this NoFap journey
A pmo never saved me from feeling numb after doing it and feeling deeply ashamed .
a pmo never gave me the confidence I had yesterday while hanging out
A pmo never saved me from getting anxious, on the contrary, pmo behavior made it worse
A PMO never helped me get stronger in anything!
Same case with me.
Pmo never helped me to achieve good grades.
A PMO always spirals my confidence back to Zero, feeling loss of Energy and self-esteem.
A PMO never helped me to understand what it's really like to have a girlfriend.
A PMO never saved me from my student life problems. .
A PMO never brought me into a higher state of consiciousnes.
A pmo never saved me from loneliness and feeling sad, on the contrary: it made these feelings stronger.
10 SIGNS OF LOSERS
just like the dreams of the childhood -- becoming a hero and also a successor in his/her adulthood. A wish that everyone had before now was crushed into pieces by stress from our lives.
loser, it is defined as a person didn't gain respects from others in his/her career. It is because of the bad habits and bad processing logic that keeps them away from the "hero" life. To help people to understand the bad habits. There would be 10 of them listed in the following post.
Translated from Wechat: jieselin
Compared to rushing or precipitance, there are many chances were missed by our hesitations. In the end, we couldn't even have a chance to be a failer through the competition (we didn't even join the "match"). The only "action" left for us is the sigh. A hesitated person would expect few success in his life.
In the movie 《reply 1988》 Ryu's (male character) love store is a real tragedy. He had so many chances to show his love for Lee (Female character). However, he missed every time by his hesitation.
In the end, Ryu stared at Lee in another male's arm from distance, and he said to himself:
"Luck, as well as chances, are not coming to a person by coincident. They are sincere wishes that were made from numerous choosing process. At the point of creating wonders, a person shall have zero hesitation in giving up and strong determination in quick grabs. Until now, chances were finally formed. Just like traffic incident, the complaints shall not be the traffic light or timing, but my countless hesitation."
The Chinese Hostess Lan Yang said:" Sometimes it was not the destiny that bullys your sensitive feelings. But because of your hesitation, the time when you made your decision -- was also the time for the Curtain call."
Having a rich plan under a poor operation is the daily routine.
So many necessary plans were given up due to repeated procrastination.
Procrastination is cancer for real successes. It is a sharing point of every single loser.
One scientific journalist said to me; sometimes when they report a new product or model, many people would claim that they even had the same thoughts.
A creative thought; 1000 people might own it; 100 people might plan to do it; Only 1 person actually made it happen.
Inside this, people might lack confidence or successful conditions. Or it is just procrastination.
Sometimes, missing one step leads to the failure of a war, and digression to a new generation.
3. Three Minutes Motivation.
Everyone has three minutes of motivation, as well as 80% failers worldwide.
A real lose would start his/her step with highly enthusiastic feelings. After facing a bit difficulty, he/she would start to complain. The motivation starts to decline, eventually giving up totally.
"Tried every single thing in one's life, but zero results left."
I used to feel a person skilled in the guitar is a cool thing. So I bought a guitar. During the first tutorial practice, the painful feelings on the fingertips make me feel unbearable. Also, the approaching process seemed hard for me. After two more tutorials, I gave up.
After several years, I had strong feelings on harmonica, and it seemed easy to pick up as well as carrying. I also imaged to have a couple of tunes with harmonica while I was traveling. But everything stopped here, these are just my imagination with no real action.
So until today, mastering in one instrument is still a dream for me.
4. Fear In Rejections
How many people are over there who never tried a thing because of fear in rejection. No one wants rejects, but we should offer ourselves to accept being rejected.
Remember this: before the final success, your face doesn't worth that much.
A formal Chinese host said:
"In the past, I was so afraid of being rejected, even more afraid of being looked down. After getting elder and elder, I realized that rejection is a way to recognize the world. Being looked down is even a better way to recognize oneself. In this angle of view, you wouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of the rejection.
Regardless that one is a president of a nation or a refugee on the street, every single human would have a moment suffering hopelessness. Or they could be even insulted or slighted. But this is also a moment for a human to grow up, to become stronger. This is not about self-esteem but an angle of life-view, and a reflection of living conditions."
No one enjoys rejections, but someday we need to accept them.
5. Self-made Restriction.
self-restriction, self-doubt, are the biggest enemies in front of the success.
Any real loser even asked a question: am I capable? After several repeats, there would be a conclusion for them: it is better to let it go.
However, those real successors would finger out a way to overcome, to conquer, to succeed after that question.
6. Escaping From The Reality.
While you are in the bed, hundreds of solutions are coming out of your mind. But after waking up, the old story repeats.
Many losers are daydreamers.
People always think about perfect solutions and successes. And what kind of achievements would they gain and show off in front of their friends and families?
People like above are losing mostly.
Researchers from Cardiff University did a study on "gaming addictions". Through 2316 volunteers, only 9 of them are identified as having "gaming addiction". The study showed:
The Internet including games would not let a human get addicted, these called "gamers" were escaping from real life unpleasant, which are the most cases. The person who had the high sign on game addiction would expect little from their real life.
“Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do”. － Apple’s “Think different” commercial, 1997
Where is the meaning of life? In front of life challenges, we shall be willing to do the changes instead of fleeing away.
"I thought I should, but......."
How to escape from responsibilities? Excuses!
"Sorry, I am late due to the traffic jam."
"If I had a different partner, the plan would be successful instead."
"I did my best, but that customer still complained, so what I can expect more?"
Once challenge showed up, we always tried our best to cover our "crime" so that we feel less guilty and more confident. This is so-called "excuses psycho".
Losers seek excuses and successors find solutions.
Looking for objective reasons to cover one's ass is the lowest ability.
The RICH feels tired of being successful, and the POOR still fights against his fear.
In competitive markets, those "adventurers" would ignore the numbers of failure they made, until one day they had zero fears.
On the contrary, the loser backed up in front of the 1st step. They were beaten by fears at the initial point.
Someone told me, swimming doesn't need learning process but need the person to overcome the fear of water and build his/her confidence. People who know how to swim are aware that a body can easily float in the water without doing anything.
The real resistance against that person is not the water itself, but the fear in his/her deep heart.
9. Giving Up After Giving Up.
It is already too late, I shall just give up.
This is a typical sign of a "giving up after giving up".
There are many examples. Being late on a project might lead a person to give up. Or a feeling of bad job done would lead to totally giving up.
So these ones never realized that many successes need failures to become real successes. And losers often give up in advance.
10. Refuse To Learn.
Sometimes, it is not about incapable in learning but no feeling on learning.
Soon or later, a person would lose his curiosity and dump him/herself in front of a repeat life routine.
A person who has no feelings about new coming things is like a walking corpse who eventually be eliminated in human society.
There are always those would not accept any new knowledge or skills.
Not accept to learn typing words, not accept to learn online shopping, not accept to use applications....
They were wishing the whole world would have mercy on them because of their learning attitude. If the world gave up on them, they would blame others:" Ah! This is such a cold bland world!" in a really confident way.
Jack Ma said:" In this fast-paced dynamic world, only learning could keep you up so that you won't lose!"
A pmo never saved me from my own demons. I need to face them by confronting them face to face, not running from them because they will be waiting for me stronger...
A pmo never started me on a life changing journey.
A pmo never saved me from feeling ashamed ,guilty and worthless.
So true. The funny thing is that a wank before succumbing to sleep feels like it would help relax. It never does.
In a similar category:
A "relaxing" PMO never helped kickstart any uncomfortable assignments. (Am I the only one who's sometimes done this - the thing I have to do is making me anxious, so I tell myself: "I know, I'll just have a wank, that'll make me relaxed enough so that I can focus on the thing itself." Never really works, at least not sustainably.)
Very true! And no, you're not the only one who wanks to relieve anxiety (which, as you say, never really works for long). I've struggled with that, too.