A "painful" ,or liberating?, question I'm asking myself (and you)

Do I love my parents? My mother yes. My father no.
My father never accepted me. It was the typical thing. I was not a boy enough for him. He wanted me to be like him but I wasn't. Fortunately my mom broke up with him when I was about 5/6 years old. I'm glad I could grow up without him and become a better man than he was.
I have a good relationship with my mom except for a few small issues we have but they are very minor.

 

Well, I hated my dad when I was 25 years old. He was absolutely closed on himself, unable to communicate, silent, and sometimes brutally judgmental and aggressive for no reason. I was also depressed and was blaming him for a few tough moments in my childhood. Then, I began to argue with him. I guess that was a "delayed" teenage rebellion. Before that, I always used to follow his orders and feared him. Finally, he understood I was a grown adult, not a child anymore, with my own life, my own decisions and that he needed to respect his son. After a month, things settled down and I started to love him more as we build some mutual respect. I realise now all the support my father gave us (financially, etc.) even if he has his own flaws - I'm sure he did his best to raise his children and to be with us as soon as he could.

I guess that's natural to hate your parents at some point, to stand against them. Then, we can assert ourselves, grow, develop as a person and love them more than ever before. [so trivial, but so true!]

 

Sometimes we never love anyone, people are very selfish, that's one thing I realized. For me, I love both of my parents because they always want the best for me, and have given me the best they could, what else could I ask for? I feel if your parents loved you enough, or made you feel loved enough, you won't ask this question. In these situations, forgiveness is usually required to make peace with the parents.
Just my quick take, all the best man.

 

I don't feeI I love my parents. I mean they've never really done anything bad to me but they also never did anything great either. The bare minimum is enough for them, I was never shown outward affection by either by my mother or father that I can remember though I'm sure they kissed and hugged me as a baby. Yet, I do remember once my mother started to kiss me good night when I was about eight and I hated it. It was just wet, sloppy and a fake gesture taken from tv. I used to wipe it off in the sheet. My mother does try to help me the best she can with whatever I'm dealing with to a greater extent than my father who just gives off this attitude of being bothered or bombarding me with his opinions on everything as if it's some scoring game to see who can make the better points instead of having a conversation. Also, even if he does try it comes off as stiff and artificial. He does provide for the family with a dead end job he been working for decades without a single promotion which is most likely the reasons for his frustrations and lack of anything emotional. The only person I love in the world right now is my little brother. We hug, play fight, watch anime together and though he's now a teenager and changing slightly on me he's my only love.

 

I believe i can understand the way you're thinking. About blaming your parents, do you believe(d) in any ways that because they acted very nicely with you, gave everything to you and made their best for you to avoid troubles, that all of this brought you to be not enough solid/ weak, and that you'd have prefere to live and make mistakes by your own to learn better ?

 

My father, who addored me and vice versa, died at the age of 49 when I was 9yrs old. My mother had an overwhelming task all alone with all of us children. While love and warmth was never particilarly her strength, there was even less room for it after my father had passed away.

As a part of this journey through nofap and other struggles in my live, I realized that my fathers death is the event in my live that had the most impact to what I am today and to my personality...

Do I love my mother? Yes. Also as a part of this journey, for the first time of my live I really spoke to my mother about feelings and emotions... I told her that I saw her pain and struggles, when I was a child and I believe she accepted that I saw it.
I accept that it will never be the same unspoiled love that most children will feel for their parents. But I feel sorry for my mum that she was "betrayed by live" so harshly. I accept that all this is part of who I am

 

I think we have many points in common. Few people can understand that, they'll just say "You're lucky" or "fortunately dad/parents are there". I was always judged by others because of this and still will. Hard to get true friends nowadays.
You're so true for mistakes i can't wait for it

 

Sometimes I wish I had a dad growing up, my mom stepped up and played both roles. I really owe her everything, I'll always love my mom. That's why I made this song