A New Beginning

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Newgirl, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. newlife321

    newlife321 New Fapstronaut

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    How did you reach to a point that you need some one external or a higher sourse to help you, it must be comming from lot of failures???when One realize that i am not alone capable tocome out of this mess!!!
     
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  2. newlife321

    newlife321 New Fapstronaut

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    Very nice lines :) just felt encouraged while reading your posts, thanks for sharing your struggle, and now also by reading your this post i just felt scared that if people with so much understanding like you still felt engaged into MO stuff, there might be some medical aspect to it too
     
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  3. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for reading. I got trapped in M addictive behavior for lack of good judgment, ignorance and inability to handle stress in a productive way. I took the short cut and ended up lost in a dark forrest. Ditched the GPS wanting to do things my way. Thankfully I'm finally finding my way back home :)
     
  4. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    My Journey
    Day 57
    9-12-18

    On Saturday I felt overwhelmed due to high levels of stress at home. Life at home is very difficult for me. I felt sad, scared and tired. I also had some strong urges. So I began to consider relapsing to escape my reality. My mind started to recall some M articles I had read and it made me feel like I wanted to Google them again. I feel embarrassed to say it but I even wanted to go ahead and plan a M session to run away from my problems. I have said it before that it's best to ignore the tempting thoughts or else it becomes almost impossible to say no to temptation but I was beginning to reject my own advice. It was a mental battle I had cos I already know M is not beneficial but I still wanted to do it. But then I remembered how much confidence I have gained by not giving in to it. How lite I feel knowing I have a guilt free conscience for not living a secret life anymore. I don't want to ruin my future sex life by taking care of business myself. I don't want to live such an exciting fantasy life that my future husband won't be able to compete with. So I got to thinking this has to stop right now if you keep entertaining those thoughts you're going to end up doing it and then regretting it big time. Then the same cycle begins again my body gets into the pattern of wanting it more and more. It becomes more difficult for me to start a good streak going again. After wasting my time thinking about it for a while I decided to come here for encouragement and I found it through good and positive messages from this awesome community. I thank God for this family and for helping me to resist. I also didn't go through with my relapse cos I feel very sad whenever I have to report a relapse. So if your feeling tempted reach out for help or just read uplifting stories and messages other members have posted. Thanks for reading. I hope all of you stay strong. :)
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2018
  5. Freedom_lover

    Freedom_lover Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    It's admirable that you've been able to overcome your impulses, and more when you planned a session. Don't feel bad, I think maybe many of us have fallen into that situation, plan to do PMO. At least I've done it.
    But that you've been victorious shows that despite everything, you've a huge strength. Feel proud of the self-control you demonstrated and the value that it required to write about that.

    I also think the same!
    I regret so much to have entered this world of PMO. I don't want to be intimate with my future partner and compare him to what I saw in P or be thinking that I feel much better doing MO alone. It wouldn't be fair to him.
    That's one of the many reasons why I am here.

    You're doing a great job on this trip to your recovery. You're a great example and inspiration to me n_n
    Stay strong, positive and smile despite everything! :)
     
  6. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    One of my favorite things about reading journals is when someone has an especially difficult day. Not because their day was difficult, but how they dealt with it and overcame their difficulties.

    Much like how you handled today. NoFap is usually the last thing on my mind when I struggle with relapses, but from what I can tell from this post it'll definitely be worth the fight to come here when things get difficult. Great job! :)
     
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  7. Elias Smith

    Elias Smith Fapstronaut

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    Well said NG. That was a good story, one I'll try to remember the next time I am in that position - which, as we all know, will come.
     
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  8. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Freedom I appreciate your support and encouragement. Once I start considering to relapse it's almost impossible for me to resist but I've relapsed so many times before that I know far too well that it doesn't fix anything it only leaves me feeling empty and cheated. So I came back to my senses before it was too late and came here looking for motivation and it worked. :)
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
  9. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for reading Solomon. I remembered that you used to say that you would sometimes hit the panic button during work and that it would help you stay committed. I didn't go for the panic button but for posts that have positive messages and I also found ones that gave me compliments from new members and that really helped. :)
     
  10. aryan02

    aryan02 Fapstronaut

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    Haha, I just discovered this journal. Feel stupid for not finding it before... BTW, you're doing great!
     
  11. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to my journal! Thanks for stopping by :)
     
  12. Loveless-J.R.A

    Loveless-J.R.A Fapstronaut

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    Well Newie... you doing fine and i do pray it stays this way. Reboot city encouragement every day is something i look foward too. I know the challenge is going to end soon, so will you be postig here?
     
  13. Basith

    Basith Fapstronaut

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    Found your journal just now. I believe that you have reached a point to where u can now consciously invest your time and your energy and dedicate them to bettering yourself.I believe that by now, you have reached a point where you feel you are in control yourself. And you are. It's not a feeling. It's a fact. Now you have a blank canvas front of you every single day. You can paint whatever life you want to live for yourself.

    Make sure you paint 'em with bright colors ;)
    Wishing you all the best for your beautiful journey that lies ahead of you!
    And stay strong. =)
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2018
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  14. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

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    Hi Newgirl sorry I didn't catch up on your journal for a while. Sorry things are tough at home.. but well done for not falling back to old patterns to cope with the stress.. I know how it is. You're doing really well and you still find time to be a great positive support to people around here.. you're one strong awesome girl and I'm sure you'll go far.
     
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  15. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your encouraging words. After the challenge I will probably be less active but still don't know how to go about it. :)
     
  16. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Beautiful words thanks. I do feel stronger but I know I have to be very careful. I'm beginning to understand many things after many relapses so I'm thankful to God for this new found determination :)
     
  17. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks RG, you are an inspiration to me. I still haven't finished reading your journal so I'm very happy you changed your mind about deleting it. It has helped me and many others. Many members recommend new ones to read it do you know it's good. :)
     
  18. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Reboot City Journey Update:

    Stayed away from NoFap for some days to work on my personal goals. Here is a list of some observations I've made:
    • Finding balance in life is crucial for recovery
    • At the beginning of my recovery I spent much of my time here as I needed the extra support to move away from the addiction and it helped me a whole lot
    • It's not easy for me to accept or adapt to change but I know that in this new stage of my recovery I need to spend less time here.
    • Relatives will be staying at my place for some weeks which means invasion of privacy so I will take advantage of this situation to significantly reduce my time here.
    • I find that as I'm making progress I still find NoFap to be a good tool for staying committed but too many visits here can also have a negative effect as it constantly reminds me of my weakness and that works against me
    • Having stayed away from NF for some days forced me to work on a plan to finally find the time to work on my personal goals one of them being a craft I want to learn. So I finally made the decision and enrolled in a class.
    • I still need to be more disciplined about fantasies as they easily creep up on me and are hard to resist but I'm not giving up.
    • Failure is not an option I can't afford to go back to my old habits. M has no place in my life anymore. I know I don't want it , I surely don't need it. So out it goes
    • 2019 looks like a promising year for me not because it will magically bring good fortune into my life but bc I am putting up a fight for it to be a good year and my sacrifice will yield good results
    I don't have time to waste anymore I have learned so much from my reboot and I am still learning. I'm grateful for a new opportunity a fresh new start and I know I am becoming a better person because I accepted the fact that my problem became an addiction but I decided to take action and fight against it. We are all winners because we decided to step out into the light and fight our enemy with all we've got. This addiction is slowly fading away and a new life is starting to emerge. Happy and Victorious 2019 to every NoFap member :)
     
  19. Very nice post. It sounds like you got things pretty well figured out. Youll be missed of course, but i think youre doing the right thing. Im sure you have a great future ahead of you.
     
    Newgirl, aryan02 and Retro Girl like this.
  20. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Dark Knight,
    It's been through the hard knocks of life that I'm finally able to understand many things about my reboot journey. I'll miss this community as well but I'll stop by once in a while to refuel :)
     

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