A list of reasons for not PMO'ing

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seeker76, Aug 19, 2018.

  1. seeker76

    seeker76 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I'm a little newer to this community and I have joined you amazing people because I believe that it is truly a step towards my self improvement, and even hopefully a way that I can give back to this community for how much it has helped me.
    With that being said, every single time I have been tempted to PMO, only one thing has stopped me from giving in to the temptation: Rationality and Foresight.

    With that in mind it only seems logical to me to post a list of very rational reasons as to why we should abstain and resist those fleeting urges, this list is as much as a reference to myself personally, and hopefully a valuable resource for anyone reading this.
    Note that this is completely a personal list, so it's just my opinions and beliefs, also I will be continuously updating this as I find more reasons.

    List of Reasons to not PMO:

    - I would be failing my family by defiling myself in the house that my family has provided me with, and I would be abusing the internet privileges they gave me by browsing pornography.
    - EVERY single time I do it, I IMMEDIATELY regret it, and it will not be different this time.
    - I would be failing my God, by ruining my body which he gave me, and I would be directly disrespecting him and disobeying him.
    - I'd have to reset my counter and face the shame of knowing that I let the NoFap community down.
    - If I PMO, that would be cheating on my future wife and potentially endangering a future marriage or relationship by viewing pornography.
    - Every time I view porn, I use women as mere objects for my lustful fleeting desires while the real women and men in the porn industry are living awful lives and being constantly objectified and having to do disgusting stuff, and here I am encouraging that horrible industry.
    - Every time I PMO it is a step closer back to a depressing miserable life, and every time the temptation is resisted, a step towards a joyful happy life is taken.
    - Porn addiction will screw up my reward circuit and wire me for instant gratification and give me brain fog, this will contribute to me not being able to perform well in University and later in my working years.
    - The next day I ALWAYS feel very crappy and regretful, I always wish that I could've resisted the temptation the day after.
    - If i do it it will screw up my sleep patterns and ruin my sleep, it will also keep me up at night later than I should be.
    - The more I do PMO, the more brain fog will consume me and the worse my life will be in general. Work will be more difficult and less productive, and I will have less motivation to do the things I need to do. Just like in high school I basically wasted my life away by PMO and pretty much lost 4 years of my life to this monster addiction.
    - If i do PMO, then I will throw away all those amazing experiences that I could be having. Most of the fond memories of life that I have, are at a point in my life where I wasn't PMO'ing regularly. And I look forward to all the new memories that life will bring me, but doing PMO will throw all those amazing experiences away.
    - porn inevitability leads to masturbation, and that drains me completely of energy and motivation, which makes me feel like garbage.
    - PMO destroys self-esteem, it's emasculating, and it rips us of our manhood making us cowards.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2018
  2. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Okay. First of all - amazing list of reasons. All of them are so true that I was almost smiling while reading them. Also, maybe will sound a bit funny, but for me learning english as foreign language your list also made me searching for a meaning of more than a few words, so thanks for that! :) The only thing I would like to discuss about is this porn industry support. I personally wouldn’t mention that with the rest of the list. And I don’t say that I’m right and you are wrong, I just believe that people decided to be in porn industry because simply they wanted to. (And I don’t believe in a thouse “that was the only way” words). All the time people are making wrong choices, but we can’t stop that. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s just what I wanted to share with you.

    Good luck to you! You are clever, I think that’s very helpful if you want to quit PMO!
     
    seeker76 likes this.
  3. I just read it and it's a great list. Thanks for recommending it. If we keep in mind those reasons everyday maybe it will be easier to fight PMO.

    PD: The only thing I would suggest to add is about how porn leads to masturbation, which makes us selfish and drain our energy. I don't know if you've filled it, but after PMO I only want to please myself and forget the regret with more pleasure, which prevents me from helping others and having good relationships. PMO destroys self-steem, thus, makes it difficult to focus our willpower on activities that are truly important for us and for others.
     
    seeker76 likes this.
  4. I think I will try to read your list everyday.
    As well as posting in my reboot-log and in a challenge.
    Remembering things every single day is very useful.
     
    seeker76 likes this.
  5. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

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    Do you believe a teenager knows what she is getting herself into when she gets into porn. She can't even imagine what kind of a life it is due to how inexperienced she is. Many people choose porn due to their circumstances in life, they may be trying to get away from a situation at home, getting back at their parents etc. We must show compassion for the people who go into the porn industry. I have been fighting this addiction for 8 years and have watched countless documentaries of pornstars after they lose the limelight and 99 percent of them end up with physical or emotional problems throughout the rest of their lives. Moreover, they have the tag of being "pornstars".

    The porn industry is the evil. But seeing that it is survived by human lust, we are the only ones to blame. It is our fault. The industry is just demand and supply. the producers, actors and everyone else are there to make money thats all. It is our lust that we have to get in control. Which comes to our PMO battle. The only way to win this fight is through willpower and always expecting an urge. Then you will never be off guard. I have failed so many times at this you cannot even imagine. One thing I learnt is don't even let a single lustful thought enter your mind. No browsing pictures or imagining girls , nothing. Be aware. Always have your shield up.

    This may appear very unfocused but I just wrote what came to my mind. Make of it what you will.
     
  6. seeker76

    seeker76 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both @pa_peace and @Rodion Raskolnikov for the feedback, I'll continue to update this list so any more suggestions/feedback will be appreciated.
     
    pa_peace likes this.
  7. ApprenticeInWar

    ApprenticeInWar Fapstronaut

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    Nice list! Some of your points resonate with me.
    Objectifying women is a huge mistake, to say the least. When we see them as mere objects or people who just want to make love with you, we end up losing all the respect for women. We judge their 'intentions' based on their clothes, for example. We forget that there is much more to a true relationship than sex. Holding hands, going to the cinema, sharing past experiences, laughing together...all these overcome sexual desires. I mean, that's my theory, so I might be wrong. I haven't had the opportunity to confirm this.
    Stay cool :)
     
    pa_peace likes this.
  8. seeker76

    seeker76 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man you're definitely on the right track, I can tell you for a fact that a REAL woman doesn't really care too much about physical stuff but rather the emotional things like laughing together and having meaningful conversations. It shows her that you care about HER, instead of her body, which is why we need to get rid of PMO because it will rip us apart from real relationships that we could be having.
    Unfortunately some women actually sell themselves as sexual objects (Prostitutes are the best example of this), so we must rebuke them as a sexual object and instead accept them as a real person, for some women this will mean you are rejecting her, when in reality you are rejecting the idea of just using her for sex. Don't waste your time with women who can't see that, but for the women that can - you know you've found a special lady.
    I've had some experience with this, one time I rejected this girl I was dating because we were getting too physical and we didn't have a real relationship. This eventually led to a break-up, which was good because the relationship was never real in the first place, it was just physical and not meaningful. It was my fault for making it physical, so I had to stop it before we really hurt each other.
    The key idea here is that PMO makes us think of women only as sexual objects, and we can't have a real relationship with that.
     
    ApprenticeInWar likes this.
  9. ApprenticeInWar

    ApprenticeInWar Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with you, mate. I'm still in my teens, so I have a lot of testosterone running through my blood. Unfortunately or not, because of this I have a lot of sexual energy. It's awful, since every single woman looks like a highly potential sexual partner...

    I remembered this thread twice. Earlier today I was waiting for the bus, there was a pretty girl next to me, and I felt a huge physical attraction for her. I didn't know who she was, where she studied, anything about her life. I had no idea whether she was into language learning or not, for example. But I she immediately got my attention, just because of her beauty. I saw her as a sexual object - a "prey", if you know what I mean.

    The second time was even sillier. I was on Whatsapp asking a girl for information, and in the end of the conversation, she sent me two kissing emojis. It was enough to turn me on a bit. Now, I'm sure that kissing emojis doesn't mean anything. In my culture, it's normal to have this kind of intimacy even without having enough intimacy. What's even worse, this is not the first time something like this happens. Anyway, I don't want to get excited due to some emojis. Neither do I want to objectify women. It's awful! I feel ashamed of myself. I'm not a predator, and women aren't prey. The beautiful girl at the bustop was a person, an individual just like me, just like you.

    Stay strong!
    You're not alone.
    Remember: keep your shield up or PMO will ring your head like a bell ;)
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2018

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