Journal Index 1 - 30 Days 31 - 60 Days 61 - 90 Days Introduction First, I need to say why I'm doing this. I pretend it's okay, but I know this is not the life I should be living. Dopamine addiction makes us more and more conformist, we sit and turn our backs on our dreams, because they are too difficult, or they seem impossible. Today I don't even know who I am, what I like, my ambitions. So young without expecting anything from life, the first to give up on myself was me. And now I want my life back, I want to know the person I should become. I will quote the most important facts about myself in a very practical way, but you can read my complete introduction in this post. I'm a 23 year old straight male, I've been struggling with PMO since I was 12-13. I have Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder, that are directly affected by my addiction. I am currently in a serious relationship and my sex life is not as good as it should be. I'm finishing my college, but I can not concentrate on the classes, even though I have plenty of time. I'm from a vegetarian family, I started eating meat a short time ago, but it's still rare. I do not smoke, I do not drink, and I avoid any kind of numbness (Buddhist principles). I have frequented several religions, I am not affiliated to any, I respect all of them and I believe in a superior force (God). My biggest streak was in January of 2017 with 20 days. I live in Brazil and my native language is Portuguese, but I understand English and Spanish well. Forgive me if there are any grammatical errors in my texts. Setting Goals [Update] My current goal is for 365 days, regardless of resets, and then I'll start another goal, my journey is to get rid of Pornography and Masturbation for life. I am currently on my 10th day of the journey, without P, M or Edging. I am allowing O. because of my relationship. On my 6th day I did S. with my partner and felt things I had never felt before, for the first time this act was satisfactory to me, I was already finding that I was asexual or something like this. On the 8th day I did S. again and felt a regression, so I decided that I will not perform S. more than once a week. And if that does not work, I'll try hard mode. I recently discovered the concept of "edging", and realized that this is bad for recovery. Even before I knew officially I could feel the hormones flowing through my body, and knew that this would slow my recovery, so now I have decided that I will avoid edging as much as P or M. First Steps When I joined the challenge last year I got rid of almost every pornography I had on my computer (200GB), leaving only 18GB that I could not throw away for "emotional reasons", so I packed into a file with a password and never again opened But since then I have accumulated more pornography, so in two days I did the same process. I used network locking from the operating system's own host file to block all sites I instinctively looked for at critical times (boredom, sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety). I deleted all groups and servers in my media that were meant for pornographic chat, and I put Google in safesearch mode to avoid accidents. I was already familiar with the NoFap community, but I had never created an account and used the forum, now I finally did it and do not regret that choice, we need each other on this arduous journey. And I also had a conversation with my girlfriend, she understands (superficially) the problems that this addiction causes in my life and will help me as she can. If I come into hard mode, I do not know what her reaction would be, we still need to talk about it. Thoughts and Expectations I am happy to have taken this initiative, for the first time in a long time I feel that I made a decision of my own without being manipulated by my addictions and weaknesses, and it is at this moment that my counterattack begins. At the end of 90 days my expectations are as follows: I'll be able to get rid of 100% of all pornography. I'll get rid of the habit of masturbating unconsciously. I'll be able to improve my sex life with my girlfriend. I'll see the world in a different way. I'll have much more time and energy to do something useful with my life. I'll have more self-confidence. I'll get to know myself better. The battle has begun, and if I fall I will raise as many times as necessary, in the end I will win, and if I have not won yet it is because I have not reached the end of my journey.